Anonymous
10/20/2023 18:43
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
Our choices are private, terrible schools, or a long commute. We can barely afford private but our kid is getting a wonderful education (one that blows mine at an “top” public school out of the water) and we’re not spending hours in our cars every day.
This is what works for us. I don’t know why our choices bug other people, but they certainly seem to.
This is what works for us. I don’t know why our choices bug other people, but they certainly seem to.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 18:30
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
We couldn’t afford it at all without FA, but got a generous package for ES for DD and MS for DS. Well worth it.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 18:24
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You keep describing your current school as this wonderful, nurturing environment...which unless everyone else is lying, is absolutely not how it will be once they hit HS. Big3 is not whole-child nurturing at HS.
It is odd that you are sending your kid to a school where HS will be every bit as stressful as an Ivy school...so they should be absolutely fully prepared to handle that environment. They Ivy school should not be stressful to them...your Big3 school is preparing them for that exact environment.
PP said: "The stress doesn't come until HS, maybe a tiny bit in MS." These schools are absolutely whole-child nuturing up in lower school, and to some extent in middle school too.
I hear what you are saying, but it is a 180-degree turn come HS. Maybe that is by design...if they did the 180-degree turn in 6th grade, then more people would say I can't sign up for 7 years of this. However, once you are in HS...you are kind of beholden.
I am just trying to reconcile the cognitive disconnect. Why discourage your kid from an Ivy school when they are now in one of the best positions to capitalize on that Ivy school due to their HS training? That is all.
Because Ivy is not the end goal for many people. Believe it or not most private school families come for the education. That doesn't mean path to ivy; it means a well rounded education. It's hard for "ivy or bust" mentalities to understand, but it's the truth. Many of these families stay through HS because of the community and relationships, which is part of the whe child development (social and emotional). It's not just the academics. To OPs point, if it's JUST academic for you, hire tutors, you might be disappointed with the result otherwise.
No, PP was saying they don’t want Ivy due to the stress of an Ivy…not any of the stuff you list above.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 18:10
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You keep describing your current school as this wonderful, nurturing environment...which unless everyone else is lying, is absolutely not how it will be once they hit HS. Big3 is not whole-child nurturing at HS.
It is odd that you are sending your kid to a school where HS will be every bit as stressful as an Ivy school...so they should be absolutely fully prepared to handle that environment. They Ivy school should not be stressful to them...your Big3 school is preparing them for that exact environment.
PP said: "The stress doesn't come until HS, maybe a tiny bit in MS." These schools are absolutely whole-child nuturing up in lower school, and to some extent in middle school too.
I hear what you are saying, but it is a 180-degree turn come HS. Maybe that is by design...if they did the 180-degree turn in 6th grade, then more people would say I can't sign up for 7 years of this. However, once you are in HS...you are kind of beholden.
I am just trying to reconcile the cognitive disconnect. Why discourage your kid from an Ivy school when they are now in one of the best positions to capitalize on that Ivy school due to their HS training? That is all.
Because Ivy is not the end goal for many people. Believe it or not most private school families come for the education. That doesn't mean path to ivy; it means a well rounded education. It's hard for "ivy or bust" mentalities to understand, but it's the truth. Many of these families stay through HS because of the community and relationships, which is part of the whe child development (social and emotional). It's not just the academics. To OPs point, if it's JUST academic for you, hire tutors, you might be disappointed with the result otherwise.
...and education is more than academics!
Anonymous
10/20/2023 18:07
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
Anonymous wrote:As a public school parent, I agree. It is similar to people who turn themselves in knots over paying for a nanny or sending their kid to part day preschool. The parents who can barely afford it or for whom it’s a sacrifice and inconvenience have reasons they love to share about how the choice they are sacrificing for is better. They have to convince themselves that it’s worth it. I have a friend like this who immigrated to the US for grad school. She has a very specific status-based view of what is “the best” and will accept nothing less.
For the vast majority of kids at the vast majority of schools, if you are the type of family who contemplates private school, your kid will probably be fine. It’s like the old Slate article about preschool philosophy- “if you are debating Reggio vs Montessori, your kid will likely be fine anywhere that is safe and loving.” The scenario where this doesn’t apply is the schools where people report such massive behavior issues that it is unsafe and disruptive - you can’t tutor and enrich your way out of that.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to throw money at problems. If I can pay money to save time and eliminate inconvenience, I will. My kids walk to public elementary and middle school. They are in activities with people in our neighborhood. Private school would make the logistics of my life worse because currently I benefit from no school commute and plentiful carpool opportunities. If private school would eliminate the need for enrichment, tutors, or a college admissions consultant, I’d be first in line. But I have learned from DCUM that at private school I’ll have to do all the extra stuff I do now - Plus have a long commute and kids’ friends all over the DMV. I could probably better spend money on a public school concierge. If such a service existed, I would pay someone 20-30 hours a month to read emails from schools and coaches, check my kids’ homework, research and book activities and camps, and alert us to educational opportunities in the area.
Yes, but most of us want better than fine for our kids. My would be fine anywhere… they are thriving at our private.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 18:06
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You keep describing your current school as this wonderful, nurturing environment...which unless everyone else is lying, is absolutely not how it will be once they hit HS. Big3 is not whole-child nurturing at HS.
It is odd that you are sending your kid to a school where HS will be every bit as stressful as an Ivy school...so they should be absolutely fully prepared to handle that environment. They Ivy school should not be stressful to them...your Big3 school is preparing them for that exact environment.
PP said: "The stress doesn't come until HS, maybe a tiny bit in MS." These schools are absolutely whole-child nuturing up in lower school, and to some extent in middle school too.
I hear what you are saying, but it is a 180-degree turn come HS. Maybe that is by design...if they did the 180-degree turn in 6th grade, then more people would say I can't sign up for 7 years of this. However, once you are in HS...you are kind of beholden.
I am just trying to reconcile the cognitive disconnect. Why discourage your kid from an Ivy school when they are now in one of the best positions to capitalize on that Ivy school due to their HS training? That is all.
Because Ivy is not the end goal for many people. Believe it or not most private school families come for the education. That doesn't mean path to ivy; it means a well rounded education. It's hard for "ivy or bust" mentalities to understand, but it's the truth. Many of these families stay through HS because of the community and relationships, which is part of the whe child development (social and emotional). It's not just the academics. To OPs point, if it's JUST academic for you, hire tutors, you might be disappointed with the result otherwise.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 17:18
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
Anonymous wrote:If private school would eliminate the need for enrichment, tutors, or a college admissions consultant, I’d be first in line. But I have learned from DCUM that at private school I’ll have to do all the extra stuff I do now
I don't know how you jumped to that conclusion. Of course some private school parents shell out for enrichment and tutors, but they're hardly in the majority. We don't and have never considered it. Nor have the parents of our kid's friends.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 17:05
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
Anonymous wrote:It’s worth every penny if you live in DC.
+1
Night and day for our kid. He is truly thriving now in his small DC private, and I don't use that word loosely.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 14:55
Subject: Re:People who can barely afford private should skip it.
Anonymous wrote:Disagree. If you feel like your kid would benefit from private school, explore your options, apply for financial aid and scholarships. Private school should not just be for the wealthy - bust the doors wide open. And no, a crappy public school with "enrichment" does not come close.
I have one kid in public and one kid in private. My kid in public would do well anywhere. He is at the top of his class in a highly competitive academic environment and has a solid peer group. With thousands of kids in the school, there many opportunities, specifically in STEM. We did the private school applications and he was admitted but he chose to stay in public.
Our private school kid is more social and sporty. He is also a strong student but not nearly as strong as our public school kid.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 14:51
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s worth every penny if you live in DC.
+1. Especially if you live outside the Deal/JR zone.
And Deal and JR are not what they once were. The behavior issues and lack of discipline and teacher turnover make each of these places truly subpar. Private if you can do so.
As a parent of DCPS children EOTP, we have done our absolute best to supplement at home, enrich our lives via extracurriculars, but my children are absolutely fatigued with the chaos and misbehavior they are subject to every day at their DCPS. The main takeaway my 8th grader has had from his shadow days at privates is how much more control the teachers have over the classroom, how responsive and cooperative the kids are at the school, and how much easier it was to focus on the lesson. I certainly don't look forward to the strain that private school will put on my lower middle class/ borderline working class family budget (thats IF we even get in with financial aid), but my child is begging for an environment where the majority of children WANT to succeed and be challenged.
Same, except we ditched MCPS. My DD could not learn with all the chaos in the classrooms. It was out of control and the administration did nothing to fix it. Same kids doing the same things just kept getting sent back to class with no consequences.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 14:43
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
As a public school parent, I agree. It is similar to people who turn themselves in knots over paying for a nanny or sending their kid to part day preschool. The parents who can barely afford it or for whom it’s a sacrifice and inconvenience have reasons they love to share about how the choice they are sacrificing for is better. They have to convince themselves that it’s worth it. I have a friend like this who immigrated to the US for grad school. She has a very specific status-based view of what is “the best” and will accept nothing less.
For the vast majority of kids at the vast majority of schools, if you are the type of family who contemplates private school, your kid will probably be fine. It’s like the old Slate article about preschool philosophy- “if you are debating Reggio vs Montessori, your kid will likely be fine anywhere that is safe and loving.” The scenario where this doesn’t apply is the schools where people report such massive behavior issues that it is unsafe and disruptive - you can’t tutor and enrich your way out of that.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to throw money at problems. If I can pay money to save time and eliminate inconvenience, I will. My kids walk to public elementary and middle school. They are in activities with people in our neighborhood. Private school would make the logistics of my life worse because currently I benefit from no school commute and plentiful carpool opportunities. If private school would eliminate the need for enrichment, tutors, or a college admissions consultant, I’d be first in line. But I have learned from DCUM that at private school I’ll have to do all the extra stuff I do now - Plus have a long commute and kids’ friends all over the DMV. I could probably better spend money on a public school concierge. If such a service existed, I would pay someone 20-30 hours a month to read emails from schools and coaches, check my kids’ homework, research and book activities and camps, and alert us to educational opportunities in the area.
For the vast majority of kids at the vast majority of schools, if you are the type of family who contemplates private school, your kid will probably be fine. It’s like the old Slate article about preschool philosophy- “if you are debating Reggio vs Montessori, your kid will likely be fine anywhere that is safe and loving.” The scenario where this doesn’t apply is the schools where people report such massive behavior issues that it is unsafe and disruptive - you can’t tutor and enrich your way out of that.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to throw money at problems. If I can pay money to save time and eliminate inconvenience, I will. My kids walk to public elementary and middle school. They are in activities with people in our neighborhood. Private school would make the logistics of my life worse because currently I benefit from no school commute and plentiful carpool opportunities. If private school would eliminate the need for enrichment, tutors, or a college admissions consultant, I’d be first in line. But I have learned from DCUM that at private school I’ll have to do all the extra stuff I do now - Plus have a long commute and kids’ friends all over the DMV. I could probably better spend money on a public school concierge. If such a service existed, I would pay someone 20-30 hours a month to read emails from schools and coaches, check my kids’ homework, research and book activities and camps, and alert us to educational opportunities in the area.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 14:19
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
Anonymous wrote:It is a major sacrifice for us and is worth it. We have never questioned it.
Even this terminology is really bizarre to me. I have never heard somebody utter "Harvard is a major sacrifice for me, but worth it", yet folks use that terminology all the time when discussing private ES/MS/HS. It's not a sacrifice if it's worth it.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 14:15
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
It is a major sacrifice for us and is worth it. We have never questioned it.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 14:14
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s worth every penny if you live in DC.
+1. Especially if you live outside the Deal/JR zone.
And Deal and JR are not what they once were. The behavior issues and lack of discipline and teacher turnover make each of these places truly subpar. Private if you can do so.
As a parent of DCPS children EOTP, we have done our absolute best to supplement at home, enrich our lives via extracurriculars, but my children are absolutely fatigued with the chaos and misbehavior they are subject to every day at their DCPS. The main takeaway my 8th grader has had from his shadow days at privates is how much more control the teachers have over the classroom, how responsive and cooperative the kids are at the school, and how much easier it was to focus on the lesson. I certainly don't look forward to the strain that private school will put on my lower middle class/ borderline working class family budget (thats IF we even get in with financial aid), but my child is begging for an environment where the majority of children WANT to succeed and be challenged.
Sounds like you should actually shoot for a Big3 where you seem a great candidate for nearly 100% FA. Not sure why you also aren't considering Walls, Latin and Basis for HS if SSSs are truly a strain. Those schools will provide the classroom environment you want.
Anonymous
10/20/2023 14:14
Subject: People who can barely afford private should skip it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s worth every penny if you live in DC.
+1. Especially if you live outside the Deal/JR zone.
And Deal and JR are not what they once were. The behavior issues and lack of discipline and teacher turnover make each of these places truly subpar. Private if you can do so.
As a parent of DCPS children EOTP, we have done our absolute best to supplement at home, enrich our lives via extracurriculars, but my children are absolutely fatigued with the chaos and misbehavior they are subject to every day at their DCPS. The main takeaway my 8th grader has had from his shadow days at privates is how much more control the teachers have over the classroom, how responsive and cooperative the kids are at the school, and how much easier it was to focus on the lesson. I certainly don't look forward to the strain that private school will put on my lower middle class/ borderline working class family budget (thats IF we even get in with financial aid), but my child is begging for an environment where the majority of children WANT to succeed and be challenged.
Agree with every word!