Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has never told me I’m hot or sexy. On occasion he’ll say I like nice in something. It makes me feel so ugly. I’m not blowing my family up over it, but I’ve stopped trying.

Same. I’m an attractive woman but have really kicked it up a notch in the last several months after having my 3rd kid. New hair, working out, new clothes. I get a lot of compliments from friends and strangers. Radio silence from DH.

I suspect a lot of it is family of origin. My lovely MIL is very, very obese (then and now) and she and FIL (a very good looking man) divorced when DH was an infant. There were never comments about looks in his household growing up, he said. It was just not discussed.

I’ve also wondered if on some level his mother (and sister) resented more conventionally attractive women and he carries that with him subconsciously. Even though he’s very attractive, and I know that my looks were a factor in him being attracted to me.

I’m teaching my son how to pay sincere compliments. I’m also teaching him to unload the dishwasher without being asked haha. My future son or daughter in law will thank me.

Pin this issue to the parent it probably belongs to.

More likely, he never heard a compliment come out of his father's mouth. Maybe you say, but she was obese, what compliments could there have been?

If there was any love in his parents marriage at any time, how could there not have been even a few compliments.

The PP will come back I’m sure but you may have missed the part where she said her in laws have been divorced nearly all of her DH’s life. So there was no marriage and what would have the FIL been complimenting?

For my DH, I think it’s a Madonna whore complex mixed in with too much porn. His idea of what sexual women look like is only attainable for a few. Basically very low body fat, thin waist, and large breasts.

I’ve asked him before why he can look at random women with his male friends and call them smoke shows, hardbodies, or say they have insane bodies. More along the lines that he shouldn’t have married me if this is what he finds attractive. He says he’s attracted to me and we have an active sex life (we’re both high drive). He’s replies that it would be disrespectful to say those things to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has never told me I’m hot or sexy. On occasion he’ll say I like nice in something. It makes me feel so ugly. I’m not blowing my family up over it, but I’ve stopped trying.

Same. I’m an attractive woman but have really kicked it up a notch in the last several months after having my 3rd kid. New hair, working out, new clothes. I get a lot of compliments from friends and strangers. Radio silence from DH.

I suspect a lot of it is family of origin. My lovely MIL is very, very obese (then and now) and she and FIL (a very good looking man) divorced when DH was an infant. There were never comments about looks in his household growing up, he said. It was just not discussed.

I’ve also wondered if on some level his mother (and sister) resented more conventionally attractive women and he carries that with him subconsciously. Even though he’s very attractive, and I know that my looks were a factor in him being attracted to me.

I’m teaching my son how to pay sincere compliments. I’m also teaching him to unload the dishwasher without being asked haha. My future son or daughter in law will thank me.

Pin this issue to the parent it probably belongs to.

More likely, he never heard a compliment come out of his father's mouth. Maybe you say, but she was obese, what compliments could there have been?

If there was any love in his parents marriage at any time, how could there not have been even a few compliments.

The PP will come back I’m sure but you may have missed the part where she said her in laws have been divorced nearly all of her DH’s life. So there was no marriage and what would have the FIL been complimenting?

Yes, I did miss that. But, then there it is. Her DH has not seen the usual martial dynamic of a DH commenting on a wife's looks.

Anonymous wrote:As a guy, it makes me more depressed to read this thread and see women with low-sex husbands. I wish we had all matched better.

They are likely incel troll posts. Guys will tag anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Although she was thin when we met, dated, married ... I now have a fat wife. And that will never change.

Is it really that hard to tell those who have the motivation and inclination to stay thin? Surely the signs were there.

well it was before the 4 humans she churned out and does 80% of all the other stuff too if I'm being honest

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has never told me I’m hot or sexy. On occasion he’ll say I like nice in something. It makes me feel so ugly. I’m not blowing my family up over it, but I’ve stopped trying.

Same. I’m an attractive woman but have really kicked it up a notch in the last several months after having my 3rd kid. New hair, working out, new clothes. I get a lot of compliments from friends and strangers. Radio silence from DH.

I suspect a lot of it is family of origin. My lovely MIL is very, very obese (then and now) and she and FIL (a very good looking man) divorced when DH was an infant. There were never comments about looks in his household growing up, he said. It was just not discussed.

I’ve also wondered if on some level his mother (and sister) resented more conventionally attractive women and he carries that with him subconsciously. Even though he’s very attractive, and I know that my looks were a factor in him being attracted to me.

I’m teaching my son how to pay sincere compliments. I’m also teaching him to unload the dishwasher without being asked haha. My future son or daughter in law will thank me.

Pin this issue to the parent it probably belongs to.

More likely, he never heard a compliment come out of his father's mouth. Maybe you say, but she was obese, what compliments could there have been?

If there was any love in his parents marriage at any time, how could there not have been even a few compliments.

The PP will come back I’m sure but you may have missed the part where she said her in laws have been divorced nearly all of her DH’s life. So there was no marriage and what would have the FIL been complimenting?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH has never told me I’m hot or sexy. On occasion he’ll say I like nice in something. It makes me feel so ugly. I’m not blowing my family up over it, but I’ve stopped trying.

Same. I’m an attractive woman but have really kicked it up a notch in the last several months after having my 3rd kid. New hair, working out, new clothes. I get a lot of compliments from friends and strangers. Radio silence from DH.

I suspect a lot of it is family of origin. My lovely MIL is very, very obese (then and now) and she and FIL (a very good looking man) divorced when DH was an infant. There were never comments about looks in his household growing up, he said. It was just not discussed.

I’ve also wondered if on some level his mother (and sister) resented more conventionally attractive women and he carries that with him subconsciously. Even though he’s very attractive, and I know that my looks were a factor in him being attracted to me.

I’m teaching my son how to pay sincere compliments. I’m also teaching him to unload the dishwasher without being asked haha. My future son or daughter in law will thank me.

Pin this issue to the parent it probably belongs to.

More likely, he never heard a compliment come out of his father's mouth. Maybe you say, but she was obese, what compliments could there have been?

If there was any love in his parents marriage at any time, how could there not have been even a few compliments.

Anonymous wrote:Although she was thin when we met, dated, married ... I now have a fat wife. And that will never change.

Is it really that hard to tell those who have the motivation and inclination to stay thin? Surely the signs were there.

Anonymous wrote:DH has never told me I’m hot or sexy. On occasion he’ll say I like nice in something. It makes me feel so ugly. I’m not blowing my family up over it, but I’ve stopped trying.

Same. I’m an attractive woman but have really kicked it up a notch in the last several months after having my 3rd kid. New hair, working out, new clothes. I get a lot of compliments from friends and strangers. Radio silence from DH.

I suspect a lot of it is family of origin. My lovely MIL is very, very obese (then and now) and she and FIL (a very good looking man) divorced when DH was an infant. There were never comments about looks in his household growing up, he said. It was just not discussed.

I’ve also wondered if on some level his mother (and sister) resented more conventionally attractive women and he carries that with him subconsciously. Even though he’s very attractive, and I know that my looks were a factor in him being attracted to me.

I’m teaching my son how to pay sincere compliments. I’m also teaching him to unload the dishwasher without being asked haha. My future son or daughter in law will thank me.

Anonymous wrote:Although she was thin when we met, dated, married ... I now have a fat wife. And that will never change.

Does she have a fat husband?

Anonymous wrote:Although she was thin when we met, dated, married ... I now have a fat wife. And that will never change.

But does she like sex? My wife got fat, which isn’t ideal, but I’d still be happy if sex was frequent. It isn’t.

As a guy, it makes me more depressed to read this thread and see women with low-sex husbands. I wish we had all matched better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realities of DH:
- ADD (let me senior dog out to potty, forgot about him, and the dog drowned in the pool)
- on the spectrum
- career fell off a cliff 8 years ago (fired from job, accepted low paying government drone position and has never left)

It’s been a struggle, but we have two kids and I literally have zero family support so I’m not leaving. I make significantly more than him, and also work an extra 30 hours per month as an attorney freelancer (on top of my full time job) so we can have a nice life and have a vacation, throw a good bday party for the kids etc.

I left (which I know DCUM likes to destroy people for) because I couldn’t handle it anymore. Severed ADHD, could barely handle his exec job while we were together and I did *everything* else - after we split he lost his job and ADHD’d (procrastinated) his way through all of his severance and had to take a huge pay cut job which I suspect he will never be pro-active enough to leave for a better paying one. So career also fell off of a cliff.

So here I am still doing everything for DC (which is fine because I don’t have an adult child to take care of too) AND I probably have to pay for everything/way more than 50%. College etc. ex-DH has saved a paltry sum thus far.

I wonder every now and again if ex wonders how DC get’s school books, school supplies, lunches funded, uniforms, field trip forms, annual school forms, medication/doctors appointments, etc etc etc. I hope I never get hit by a bus…

How much money does your DH make? Curious what you consider to be so little.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if these no-drive men have low T or if they are on SSRIs.

Or they are gay.

I know DH is not on SSRIs or gay but I worry about his health in general. I wish he would do a sleep study at least.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if these no-drive men have low T or if they are on SSRIs.

Or they are gay.

Although she was thin when we met, dated, married ... I now have a fat wife. And that will never change.