Anonymous wrote:I am a tall thin Asian with an equally tall thin twin sister. We have never once been invisible. And I am not being smug. We are both attractive but when you put the two of us together we always get stared at.

We are hitting 40 now and nothing has changed. Probably get stared at more because now we drag our equally attractive kids (girls and boys) with us and someone is always commenting on our kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

I’m a Black woman. I’ve never been invisible — except occasionally to white women who push in front of me because they don’t “see” me. Then, there are the times I might WISH to be invisible— when the catcalling gets ugly, or a random white woman (yes, it’s always a white woman) demands that I assist her in a store, even though I’m wearing a coat, carrying a bag, and the sales associates have uniforms.

Lol — and weary eye roll: Once I was walking home with both a full bag of groceries from Whole Foods AND pulling a suitcase with wheels when a white woman accosted me on the street, tried to hand me a set of keys, and demanded to know why I was late — because she had been impatiently waiting for someone to come to her home to do some sort of work for her. No, white lady, I do not work for you. In contrast, it’s usually a treat when people say nice things and acknowledge my existence in public on positive ways.

Oh, and OP, is your point about being “thin” perplexity that even in your “thinness” you’re still “invisible “? Maybe check your assumptions. And your own prejudices. I’m a Black women, neither young nor thin, and I’m quite visible in most settings.

Quit whining and blaming everything on your skin color. I am a white woman who has been asked many times for help in stores, and had people pop into my car, thinking I was their uber driver. This is part of life. People make mistakes.

Really?? I’m a white woman and have never had these things happen to me. People always try to wait on me in stores. Gets annoying after awhile. Wish I was invisible!

I'm a white woman and I've definitely been asked for help in a store. Usually it's been when I haven't had my purse with me and I tend to walk purposefully.

And I've always been happy to help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

Young minority women can be both attractive and unattractive. in order to benefit from pretty privilege, you have to pretty, whether white or a POC.

Yes but the threshold for pretty privilege is higher for POC. A young white woman who is slim and well-groomed will get treated well by everyone. A WOC has to be attractive in a head-turning way to be treated the same way.

A WOC can be attractive well into her 50's. A young white women's prime is her 20's. That is all.

So true, and I’m white. Melanin prevents all that sun-induced skin aging we pasty white women have. I know so many young looking POC in their 50s and beyond.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

I’m a Black woman. I’ve never been invisible — except occasionally to white women who push in front of me because they don’t “see” me. Then, there are the times I might WISH to be invisible— when the catcalling gets ugly, or a random white woman (yes, it’s always a white woman) demands that I assist her in a store, even though I’m wearing a coat, carrying a bag, and the sales associates have uniforms.

Lol — and weary eye roll: Once I was walking home with both a full bag of groceries from Whole Foods AND pulling a suitcase with wheels when a white woman accosted me on the street, tried to hand me a set of keys, and demanded to know why I was late — because she had been impatiently waiting for someone to come to her home to do some sort of work for her. No, white lady, I do not work for you. In contrast, it’s usually a treat when people say nice things and acknowledge my existence in public on positive ways.

Oh, and OP, is your point about being “thin” perplexity that even in your “thinness” you’re still “invisible “? Maybe check your assumptions. And your own prejudices. I’m a Black women, neither young nor thin, and I’m quite visible in most settings.

Quit whining and blaming everything on your skin color. I am a white woman who has been asked many times for help in stores, and had people pop into my car, thinking I was their uber driver. This is part of life. People make mistakes.

Really?? I’m a white woman and have never had these things happen to me. People always try to wait on me in stores. Gets annoying after awhile. Wish I was invisible!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

I’m a Black woman. I’ve never been invisible — except occasionally to white women who push in front of me because they don’t “see” me. Then, there are the times I might WISH to be invisible— when the catcalling gets ugly, or a random white woman (yes, it’s always a white woman) demands that I assist her in a store, even though I’m wearing a coat, carrying a bag, and the sales associates have uniforms.

Lol — and weary eye roll: Once I was walking home with both a full bag of groceries from Whole Foods AND pulling a suitcase with wheels when a white woman accosted me on the street, tried to hand me a set of keys, and demanded to know why I was late — because she had been impatiently waiting for someone to come to her home to do some sort of work for her. No, white lady, I do not work for you. In contrast, it’s usually a treat when people say nice things and acknowledge my existence in public on positive ways.

Oh, and OP, is your point about being “thin” perplexity that even in your “thinness” you’re still “invisible “? Maybe check your assumptions. And your own prejudices. I’m a Black women, neither young nor thin, and I’m quite visible in most settings.

Quit whining and blaming everything on your skin color. I am a white woman who has been asked many times for help in stores, and had people pop into my car, thinking I was their uber driver. This is part of life. People make mistakes.

Anonymous wrote:Most people are invisible, honestly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

I’m a Black woman. I’ve never been invisible — except occasionally to white women who push in front of me because they don’t “see” me. Then, there are the times I might WISH to be invisible— when the catcalling gets ugly, or a random white woman (yes, it’s always a white woman) demands that I assist her in a store, even though I’m wearing a coat, carrying a bag, and the sales associates have uniforms.

Lol — and weary eye roll: Once I was walking home with both a full bag of groceries from Whole Foods AND pulling a suitcase with wheels when a white woman accosted me on the street, tried to hand me a set of keys, and demanded to know why I was late — because she had been impatiently waiting for someone to come to her home to do some sort of work for her. No, white lady, I do not work for you. In contrast, it’s usually a treat when people say nice things and acknowledge my existence in public on positive ways.

Oh, and OP, is your point about being “thin” perplexity that even in your “thinness” you’re still “invisible “? Maybe check your assumptions. And your own prejudices. I’m a Black women, neither young nor thin, and I’m quite visible in most settings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thin for most of my life but I am petite and short. I have always been invisible even when I was in my twenties. I recall walking into a Blue Mercury store with my blonde white friend this one time and the sales associate completely ignored me and started talking to my friend. She was recommending products and also did her makeup while I stood by and looked on. She didn’t even acknowledge me or ask if I wanted my makeup done or what makeup I was interested in.

In groups of women the white women are noticed by men, even if they are chubbier than me.

Unless you are a young white woman, being a minority woman means living in invisibility.

Young minority women can be both attractive and unattractive. in order to benefit from pretty privilege, you have to pretty, whether white or a POC.

Yes but the threshold for pretty privilege is higher for POC. A young white woman who is slim and well-groomed will get treated well by everyone. A WOC has to be attractive in a head-turning way to be treated the same way.

A WOC can be attractive well into her 50's. A young white women's prime is her 20's. That is all.