Anonymous wrote:
I am a research scientist and my husband is a doctor. Of course we make appointments for our teens. Of course we accompany them to their appointments, and check the lab work and any exams, and add our knowledge to the discussion. The doctors treating our children expect it, and would find us remiss if we didn't. I don't know of any family in our circle who does not do this, especially the medical ones who know what medicine is and how easy it is to miss certain issues.

Of course, many appointments are routine with no surprises. But until they live independently, it's always good to be there for the odd result or medical tangent. And since I'm the general house manager, it's easier for us all if *I* make the appointments. Just as a matter of practicality.

Separately, I've always found it amusing, endearing even, how some people on DCUM are obsessed with their kids learning how to do certain things early on. House chores, administrative tasks, etc. Those things are easy. It does not matter at all whether someone learns then at 8 or 18, because it's not rocket science. I didn't lift a finger in my own house until I left for college, and yet had no trouble making appointments, doing laundry and cooking meals for myself. Same for my husband. None of these things have a difficult learning curve! Do not stress about "teaching" your children these things, or having them "practice". They will get it easily when they need to.

Now my oldest is in college, and predictably, he has no trouble managing his life, despite not having "practiced" much prior to leaving home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because my kids went off to college far from home and needed to know how to self-evaluate and make decisions about when medical intervention was needed.

They learn to self evaluate with their parent’s help while growing up. It’s like laundry. People are so proud their three year old can do his own laundry. Lots of kids never did laundry growing up and when they moved out they did their laundry. Same with health care although it’s not a bad idea to call your mom if you’re not feeling well at college or your new job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am a research scientist and my husband is a doctor. Of course we make appointments for our teens. Of course we accompany them to their appointments, and check the lab work and any exams, and add our knowledge to the discussion. The doctors treating our children expect it, and would find us remiss if we didn't. I don't know of any family in our circle who does not do this, especially the medical ones who know what medicine is and how easy it is to miss certain issues.

Of course, many appointments are routine with no surprises. But until they live independently, it's always good to be there for the odd result or medical tangent. And since I'm the general house manager, it's easier for us all if *I* make the appointments. Just as a matter of practicality.

Separately, I've always found it amusing, endearing even, how some people on DCUM are obsessed with their kids learning how to do certain things early on. House chores, administrative tasks, etc. Those things are easy. It does not matter at all whether someone learns then at 8 or 18, because it's not rocket science. I didn't lift a finger in my own house until I left for college, and yet had no trouble making appointments, doing laundry and cooking meals for myself. Same for my husband. None of these things have a difficult learning curve! Do not stress about "teaching" your children these things, or having them "practice". They will get it easily when they need to.

Now my oldest is in college, and predictably, he has no trouble managing his life, despite not having "practiced" much prior to leaving home.

Why on earth would your occupations matter?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of the threads about kids needing to do their own laundry for years to prepare for doing it in college. It's not really that hard!

I think the point is that they’re capable long before many parents have them do it. So why wait until college when you can turn the responsibility over to them sooner?

Seems like the opposite of helicopter parenting to me….

Because it is much more efficient to do larger loads combining laundry for the whole family. Like making dinner, or going grocery shopping, silly to have every family member doing it individually even though they are fully capable.

Anonymous wrote:
I am a research scientist and my husband is a doctor. Of course we make appointments for our teens. Of course we accompany them to their appointments, and check the lab work and any exams, and add our knowledge to the discussion. The doctors treating our children expect it, and would find us remiss if we didn't. I don't know of any family in our circle who does not do this, especially the medical ones who know what medicine is and how easy it is to miss certain issues.

Of course, many appointments are routine with no surprises. But until they live independently, it's always good to be there for the odd result or medical tangent. And since I'm the general house manager, it's easier for us all if *I* make the appointments. Just as a matter of practicality.

Separately, I've always found it amusing, endearing even, how some people on DCUM are obsessed with their kids learning how to do certain things early on. House chores, administrative tasks, etc. Those things are easy. It does not matter at all whether someone learns then at 8 or 18, because it's not rocket science. I didn't lift a finger in my own house until I left for college, and yet had no trouble making appointments, doing laundry and cooking meals for myself. Same for my husband. None of these things have a difficult learning curve! Do not stress about "teaching" your children these things, or having them "practice". They will get it easily when they need to.

Now my oldest is in college, and predictably, he has no trouble managing his life, despite not having "practiced" much prior to leaving home.

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of the threads about kids needing to do their own laundry for years to prepare for doing it in college. It's not really that hard!

Anonymous wrote:Because I work with college students and watch them struggle with simple life tasks that they were either never taught or never expected to do on their own (laundry, cleaning, appointments, etc.).

I'm sorry, but if you're 18 or 19 and need your mom to email a professor because you don't understand something in class and are too afraid to seek out assistance on your own, you're pathetic and not ready for college. I experience this at least 5 times a semester, if not more. Parents emailing/calling for assignment extensions, asking about grades, asking for clarifications, etc.

Anonymous wrote:
I am a research scientist and my husband is a doctor. Of course we make appointments for our teens. Of course we accompany them to their appointments, and check the lab work and any exams, and add our knowledge to the discussion. The doctors treating our children expect it, and would find us remiss if we didn't. I don't know of any family in our circle who does not do this, especially the medical ones who know what medicine is and how easy it is to miss certain issues.

Of course, many appointments are routine with no surprises. But until they live independently, it's always good to be there for the odd result or medical tangent. And since I'm the general house manager, it's easier for us all if *I* make the appointments. Just as a matter of practicality.

Separately, I've always found it amusing, endearing even, how some people on DCUM are obsessed with their kids learning how to do certain things early on. House chores, administrative tasks, etc. Those things are easy. It does not matter at all whether someone learns then at 8 or 18, because it's not rocket science. I didn't lift a finger in my own house until I left for college, and yet had no trouble making appointments, doing laundry and cooking meals for myself. Same for my husband. None of these things have a difficult learning curve! Do not stress about "teaching" your children these things, or having them "practice". They will get it easily when they need to.

Now my oldest is in college, and predictably, he has no trouble managing his life, despite not having "practiced" much prior to leaving home.