Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 14:41     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
I don't understand why the early risers don't prefer a hotel! We are an early to bed/early to rise family and the last thing we want to do is hide out in our rooms for 2+ hours, without coffee and breakfast, lest we wake the people who like to sleep in. So hotel for us - we'll get up, shower and dress in privacy, head out for breakfast then meet you at the house at a civilized hour.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 14:38     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe I’m the outlier but I truly do not understand why a million changes need to be made for last minute guests.
Last minute, stay at the hotel. Maybe kids stay over at the house for a night or two. But seriously, staying at a hotel 5 minutes away is going to destroy their ability to ‘have cousin time’?
And yes, for something like this I think it is rude to ask parents to change plans.


Nope. It’s a newly divorced parent with young kids. They get to stay in the house. Grumpy entitled parents who go to bed early and get up early can go to the hotel.

Grumpy, who said they were grumpy. How is it entitlement to expect to stay where YOU WERE INVITED!?
Some of you have the emotional
Maturity of a 12 yr old.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 14:36     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s right to invite the in-laws and then disinvite them from staying at your house. Whoever was last should be the ones to stay at the hotel. In this case, BIL.


Yeah, let’s kick BIL while he’s down and going through a divorce and put him and his kids in the closest Courtyard a thousand miles away home. Why can’t the ILs be flexible? They should be happy they raised kids who like each other and want to spend time together without Mom and Dad hovering.

A grown ass man traveling across country with his kids is grown enough to stay and pay for his own hotel, he’s getting a divorce, not a lobotomy!!
Some of you people really hate your parents and in-laws and then the first ones screaming when they don’t give you what you want.
Grow up!
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 14:36     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Anonymous wrote:Maybe I’m the outlier but I truly do not understand why a million changes need to be made for last minute guests.
Last minute, stay at the hotel. Maybe kids stay over at the house for a night or two. But seriously, staying at a hotel 5 minutes away is going to destroy their ability to ‘have cousin time’?
And yes, for something like this I think it is rude to ask parents to change plans.


Nope. It’s a newly divorced parent with young kids. They get to stay in the house. Grumpy entitled parents who go to bed early and get up early can go to the hotel.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 14:34     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ooh, this is tough. You are doing all the right things but DCUM is going to come for you telling you to respect your elders or some nonsense. I would want to host in my house as per plan. It really blows my mind when parents can't let their (adult) kids do things without them.

Could you see if cousin/fiancee would be willing to stay in the hotel? If they are young, they might like a few free nights in a hotel (assuming you're willing to pay for the hotel regardless of who stays there).


Remember the Fifth Commandment. You do not throw your parents. Make room. One Christmas my two sisters (5 children between the two,), myself and brother, with spouses all spend from Dec. 22 through Dec. 27 together. It was the best and happiest Christmas of my Ife.


Just spit my coffee out laughing! Where did this fifth commandment come from…the boomer manual of Me Me Me? Your MIL/FIL do not get to dictate who sleeps where when you are hosting. If they don’t want to stay in the hotel then they can stay home.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 14:29     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s right to invite the in-laws and then disinvite them from staying at your house. Whoever was last should be the ones to stay at the hotel. In this case, BIL.


Yeah, let’s kick BIL while he’s down and going through a divorce and put him and his kids in the closest Courtyard a thousand miles away home. Why can’t the ILs be flexible? They should be happy they raised kids who like each other and want to spend time together without Mom and Dad hovering.
WTF????
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 14:23     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Anonymous wrote:So what I'd do is ask the cousin/fiancée to stay in the hotel and pay for it if you can. Then, don't cater to the grandparents AT ALL. Make noise after they go to bed, ask them to be quiet in the morning etc. Have them share the bathroom with all the children. They might decide in their own that your house isn't all that comfy .

Really, you are petty and immature.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 14:22     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Maybe I’m the outlier but I truly do not understand why a million changes need to be made for last minute guests.
Last minute, stay at the hotel. Maybe kids stay over at the house for a night or two. But seriously, staying at a hotel 5 minutes away is going to destroy their ability to ‘have cousin time’?
And yes, for something like this I think it is rude to ask parents to change plans.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 14:19     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Anonymous wrote:Your ILs don't get to make the decisions here about your house. DH needs to put his foot down now about the bossy entitlement of his parents. Shut that crap down now. They wouldn't be stepping foot in my house if they acted like that. Tell your DH to grow a set and tell his parents No.

You sound like a jerk.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 14:10     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s right to invite the in-laws and then disinvite them from staying at your house. Whoever was last should be the ones to stay at the hotel. In this case, BIL.


Yeah, let’s kick BIL while he’s down and going through a divorce and put him and his kids in the closest Courtyard a thousand miles away home. Why can’t the ILs be flexible? They should be happy they raised kids who like each other and want to spend time together without Mom and Dad hovering.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 14:07     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ooh, this is tough. You are doing all the right things but DCUM is going to come for you telling you to respect your elders or some nonsense. I would want to host in my house as per plan. It really blows my mind when parents can't let their (adult) kids do things without them.

Could you see if cousin/fiancee would be willing to stay in the hotel? If they are young, they might like a few free nights in a hotel (assuming you're willing to pay for the hotel regardless of who stays there).


Remember the Fifth Commandment. You do not throw your parents. Make room. One Christmas my two sisters (5 children between the two,), myself and brother, with spouses all spend from Dec. 22 through Dec. 27 together. It was the best and happiest Christmas of my Ife.


OP and DH are making room by paying for a hotel room, so everyone will be comfortable.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 14:01     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
I don’t think it’s right to invite the in-laws and then disinvite them from staying at your house. Whoever was last should be the ones to stay at the hotel. In this case, BIL.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 13:53     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Anonymous wrote:Ooh, this is tough. You are doing all the right things but DCUM is going to come for you telling you to respect your elders or some nonsense. I would want to host in my house as per plan. It really blows my mind when parents can't let their (adult) kids do things without them.

Could you see if cousin/fiancee would be willing to stay in the hotel? If they are young, they might like a few free nights in a hotel (assuming you're willing to pay for the hotel regardless of who stays there).


Remember the Fifth Commandment. You do not throw your parents. Make room. One Christmas my two sisters (5 children between the two,), myself and brother, with spouses all spend from Dec. 22 through Dec. 27 together. It was the best and happiest Christmas of my Ife.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 12:48     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Anonymous wrote:Your in laws must be aware of the number of bedrooms in your house. Either put Grandma on the sofa or even better, you and your spouse should go to the hotel.


Oh, this idea is hilarious. “You’re right, Mildred. We should all be together. We are Family. Since you and Bob get up so early, we’ll be putting you in the living room on the sofa bed. It’s a double, so you’ll fit! We’ll give you a white noise machine so that the rest of us staying up and playing board games until midnight or so won’t bother you too much.”
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2023 12:42     Subject: BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel
Your in laws must be aware of the number of bedrooms in your house. Either put Grandma on the sofa or even better, you and your spouse should go to the hotel.