Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea what it means not to partake in "identification". Are you saying that your kid refuses to answer questions about their gender, or religion, or nationality, or family status or hobbies?

Everyone I know identifies as something.

If you're a white male, cis/het, not religious, UMC, family been here a long time and intermixed (generic European), truly what is there to say?

I'm not in this category but I feel like these Qs should be optional. Otherwise it is very cringe and fake.

You could write about your identity as teacher, scientist, artist, craftsman, writer, big brother, etc. What led you to define yourself as you do today.

College AO: "Oh, not a minority, then, or you would have mentioned it? On the reject pile you go."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything about college these days...from the admissions process to the day to day culture of what "matters"... seems so backwardass stupid - I'm embarrassed for the administrators and the parents buying into it all....

+1. It seems to be playing into our worst instincts as humans, to make everything tribal. All of this obsession with identities feeds into that mentality.

I'm surprised more people don't see this for what it is, it's an extension of some of the worst traits of human beings. It's very natural to group people together and stereotype and discriminate, but we seem to be leaning into the primal need to identify with a group as if this is a good thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people opposed to this only do so because they think race or gender are the only way people identify and they are afraid that being white and cis may hamper their kid's college app.

But it is BS because there are so many ways your identity is defined. Physically, racially, culturally.

My husband wrote his essay on being an only child.


When I read the question from the article, “Tell us about an aspect of your identity or a life experience that has shaped you," I immediately thought of how much of my life has been shaped by my physical disability (missing a limb). In fact, I wrote about this in my college app essay in 1994.

Sorry if it offends you that I was shaped by this, and that I shouldn't have written about it. I know some of you want to believe or downplay the experiences of others as cashing in on "trauma," but you are so far off the mark.

Yup. As always, the people who claim not to want to talk or think about race and gender can’t help but show that they are actually obsessed with it.

white/hetero/athletic/intelligent male:
People look at me and before they know anything about me or my background they think: 'toxic masculinity', 'privilege', 'racist', 'misogynist', 'homophobic', etc. They see the root cause of all that is wrong with society these days apparently. I am a walking billboard for them to direct their hate.

Give us some specific examples of how it's impacted your life.

NP here. If you asked any middle or UMC black person the same question, they are unlikely to have glaring examples to point to, like lack of homeownership or difficulty getting into colleges (on the contrary actually, they benefit). What they would point to were probably many small micro aggressions and insults to their personhood that accumulated over their life. This now happens to white cis males all the time, and if you can't see that you are blind.

Anonymous wrote:“It's the 21st century, folks. The world our kids will enter is stunningly multicultural”

Exactly, but that should make identity LESS important, not MORE. The alumni magazine should read “Suzy X (class of ‘15) climbs Mount Everest,” not “First trans Albanian Suzy X overcomes unique challenges to go where nobody like her has gone before.”

If the identity is relevant, fine. Like if it’s “First Muslim appointed to be Pope’s bodyguard,” that’s great, because the identity is key to the story. But don’t make identity the story when it has nothing to do with the achievement.

We should be working towards a society where those sorts of characteristics aren’t THE STORY, but we are swimming upstream as long as so many people have to interject identity where it isn’t relevant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people opposed to this only do so because they think race or gender are the only way people identify and they are afraid that being white and cis may hamper their kid's college app.

But it is BS because there are so many ways your identity is defined. Physically, racially, culturally.

My husband wrote his essay on being an only child.


When I read the question from the article, “Tell us about an aspect of your identity or a life experience that has shaped you," I immediately thought of how much of my life has been shaped by my physical disability (missing a limb). In fact, I wrote about this in my college app essay in 1994.

Sorry if it offends you that I was shaped by this, and that I shouldn't have written about it. I know some of you want to believe or downplay the experiences of others as cashing in on "trauma," but you are so far off the mark.

I agree. Would also add that people who experience true trauma, don’t write about it. My dad was shot when I was a kid. Only now do I speak of it… I’m 50. The idea that kids are trotting out trauma for a college essay is a fantasy of boring UMC folks who are dying for a way to get their slightly above average kid to stand out from other slightly above average kids. Your anxiety is showing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just play the game. That's what it's come down to.

Just pretend that they are searching for their "identity" or some BS. Or, that some days they feel like the opposite gender, and some days they feel like no gender at all.

Then they can get into college and say, "Oh, it's so great.. this college helped me find my identity. I'm still me. It was just an crisis of identity moment when I was filling out my college app".

It's so stupid.

100 this.
My child got into every school (top 10) they applied to w this….

Anonymous wrote:Just play the game. That's what it's come down to.

Just pretend that they are searching for their "identity" or some BS. Or, that some days they feel like the opposite gender, and some days they feel like no gender at all.

Then they can get into college and say, "Oh, it's so great.. this college helped me find my identity. I'm still me. It was just an crisis of identity moment when I was filling out my college app".

It's so stupid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people opposed to this only do so because they think race or gender are the only way people identify and they are afraid that being white and cis may hamper their kid's college app.

But it is BS because there are so many ways your identity is defined. Physically, racially, culturally.

My husband wrote his essay on being an only child.


When I read the question from the article, “Tell us about an aspect of your identity or a life experience that has shaped you," I immediately thought of how much of my life has been shaped by my physical disability (missing a limb). In fact, I wrote about this in my college app essay in 1994.

Sorry if it offends you that I was shaped by this, and that I shouldn't have written about it. I know some of you want to believe or downplay the experiences of others as cashing in on "trauma," but you are so far off the mark.

Yup. As always, the people who claim not to want to talk or think about race and gender can’t help but show that they are actually obsessed with it.

white/hetero/athletic/intelligent male:
People look at me and before they know anything about me or my background they think: 'toxic masculinity', 'privilege', 'racist', 'misogynist', 'homophobic', etc. They see the root cause of all that is wrong with society these days apparently. I am a walking billboard for them to direct their hate.

Give us some specific examples of how it's impacted your life.

NP here. If you asked any middle or UMC black person the same question, they are unlikely to have glaring examples to point to, like lack of homeownership or difficulty getting into colleges (on the contrary actually, they benefit). What they would point to were probably many small micro aggressions and insults to their personhood that accumulated over their life. This now happens to white cis males all the time, and if you can't see that you are blind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea what it means not to partake in "identification". Are you saying that your kid refuses to answer questions about their gender, or religion, or nationality, or family status or hobbies?

Everyone I know identifies as something.

If you're a white male, cis/het, not religious, UMC, family been here a long time and intermixed (generic European), truly what is there to say?

I'm not in this category but I feel like these Qs should be optional. Otherwise it is very cringe and fake.

"Tell us about an aspect of your identity OR a life experience that has shaped you."

By 17, kids have been shaped by something. If not, write an eloquent essay about being an unmolded lump still seeking form.

No need to bolden that. "Shaping life experiences" are also none of a university's business and this part of the question has no legitimate purpose, either.

Anonymous wrote:
My kid has many aspects to his identity. He is Jewish. He has a disability. He has a brother with a disability. He is white. He is American. He is a cis male. He plays a sport. He grew up in the south. He enjoys science. He is an extrovert who prides himself on prioritizing friendships. He volunteers. Some of those things he shared in essays, and some he chose not to either because he felt they were too personal (e.g., his disability) or irrelevant (e.g., they saw his citizenship and sex/gender when he applied and he didn't have anything to add on that topic). That left him with tons and tons of things to talk about, many of which he "chose" for himself (sports, academic interests, volunteer work, friendships).

Are you familiar with the teen slang TMI?
None of this belongs in a college application, and shouldn't even be asked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a nothingburger. Sure, a kid *could* write about their race or gender, but much more interesting probably would be about identifying as or experience with so many other things!

The only one in their family not into sports
Someone who's only lived in suburbia
Someone who's traveled a lot or not at all
A perfectionist
Someone who always felt people had low expectations for them
A victim of a crime
Afraid of heights
A dog person
A good cook
Got really lost somewhere
Someone others looked up to or down on
First in family to go to college
Midwesterner
New Yorker
Child of parent with an interesting job that affected their life
Rollercoaster fanatic
...

Colleges have probably seen all those things a million times, and admissions officers are surely bored with them. Millions of kids applying every year, it is next to impossible to write a truly unique essay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people opposed to this only do so because they think race or gender are the only way people identify and they are afraid that being white and cis may hamper their kid's college app.

But it is BS because there are so many ways your identity is defined. Physically, racially, culturally.

My husband wrote his essay on being an only child.


When I read the question from the article, “Tell us about an aspect of your identity or a life experience that has shaped you," I immediately thought of how much of my life has been shaped by my physical disability (missing a limb). In fact, I wrote about this in my college app essay in 1994.

Sorry if it offends you that I was shaped by this, and that I shouldn't have written about it. I know some of you want to believe or downplay the experiences of others as cashing in on "trauma," but you are so far off the mark.

I agree. Would also add that people who experience true trauma, don’t write about it. My dad was shot when I was a kid. Only now do I speak of it… I’m 50. The idea that kids are trotting out trauma for a college essay is a fantasy of boring UMC folks who are dying for a way to get their slightly above average kid to stand out from other slightly above average kids. Your anxiety is showing.

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say no one who experiences true trauma writes about it. PP above you said she wrote about her trauma for her essay and I would characterize hers as true. But I didn't write about mine for my college application. Maybe now I would, decades later and having processed it more and realized why the F wouldn't I make lemonade out of the lemon life gave me? It certainly has shaped my life and my character.

PP missing limb. I think what I bodled above is super important. For many of us, our experiences aren't traumatic because we have lived with them for so long. My disability, another person's race, or abusive background, for example. It was traumatic at times, but not the way people here put "trauma" in quotes.

And maybe you don't see it, but when you say "lemonade out of lemons," it seems to imply people who write about their experiences are cashing in, rather than just writing about the most critical parts of their lives.

It is super cynical for those who accuse people of writing "trauma" essays.

My kid has been told by classmates that he's lucky his sibling died because he'll have a good college essay topic.

You know that NO kid has said it in the way you are implying. FFS

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people opposed to this only do so because they think race or gender are the only way people identify and they are afraid that being white and cis may hamper their kid's college app.

But it is BS because there are so many ways your identity is defined. Physically, racially, culturally.

My husband wrote his essay on being an only child.


When I read the question from the article, “Tell us about an aspect of your identity or a life experience that has shaped you," I immediately thought of how much of my life has been shaped by my physical disability (missing a limb). In fact, I wrote about this in my college app essay in 1994.

Sorry if it offends you that I was shaped by this, and that I shouldn't have written about it. I know some of you want to believe or downplay the experiences of others as cashing in on "trauma," but you are so far off the mark.

I agree. Would also add that people who experience true trauma, don’t write about it. My dad was shot when I was a kid. Only now do I speak of it… I’m 50. The idea that kids are trotting out trauma for a college essay is a fantasy of boring UMC folks who are dying for a way to get their slightly above average kid to stand out from other slightly above average kids. Your anxiety is showing.

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say no one who experiences true trauma writes about it. PP above you said she wrote about her trauma for her essay and I would characterize hers as true. But I didn't write about mine for my college application. Maybe now I would, decades later and having processed it more and realized why the F wouldn't I make lemonade out of the lemon life gave me? It certainly has shaped my life and my character.

PP missing limb. I think what I bodled above is super important. For many of us, our experiences aren't traumatic because we have lived with them for so long. My disability, another person's race, or abusive background, for example. It was traumatic at times, but not the way people here put "trauma" in quotes.

And maybe you don't see it, but when you say "lemonade out of lemons," it seems to imply people who write about their experiences are cashing in, rather than just writing about the most critical parts of their lives.

It is super cynical for those who accuse people of writing "trauma" essays.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people opposed to this only do so because they think race or gender are the only way people identify and they are afraid that being white and cis may hamper their kid's college app.

But it is BS because there are so many ways your identity is defined. Physically, racially, culturally.

My husband wrote his essay on being an only child.


When I read the question from the article, “Tell us about an aspect of your identity or a life experience that has shaped you," I immediately thought of how much of my life has been shaped by my physical disability (missing a limb). In fact, I wrote about this in my college app essay in 1994.

Sorry if it offends you that I was shaped by this, and that I shouldn't have written about it. I know some of you want to believe or downplay the experiences of others as cashing in on "trauma," but you are so far off the mark.

Yup. As always, the people who claim not to want to talk or think about race and gender can’t help but show that they are actually obsessed with it.

white/hetero/athletic/intelligent male:
People look at me and before they know anything about me or my background they think: 'toxic masculinity', 'privilege', 'racist', 'misogynist', 'homophobic', etc. They see the root cause of all that is wrong with society these days apparently. I am a walking billboard for them to direct their hate.

Give us some specific examples of how it's impacted your life.

NP here. If you asked any middle or UMC black person the same question, they are unlikely to have glaring examples to point to, like lack of homeownership or difficulty getting into colleges (on the contrary actually, they benefit). What they would point to were probably many small micro aggressions and insults to their personhood that accumulated over their life. This now happens to white cis males all the time, and if you can't see that you are blind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea what it means not to partake in "identification". Are you saying that your kid refuses to answer questions about their gender, or religion, or nationality, or family status or hobbies?

Everyone I know identifies as something.

If you're a white male, cis/het, not religious, UMC, family been here a long time and intermixed (generic European), truly what is there to say?

I'm not in this category but I feel like these Qs should be optional. Otherwise it is very cringe and fake.

You could write about your identity as teacher, scientist, artist, craftsman, writer, big brother, etc. What led you to define yourself as you do today.

College AO: "Oh, not a minority, then, or you would have mentioned it? On the reject pile you go."

And yet except for HBCU's, most colleges are overwhelmingly white. How does that work?

1. why do colleges need to reflect society?
2. most higher achieving kids are white or Asian
3. most students who are apply are white or Asian, so colleges are a representation of the applicant pool, not the general public, but even so, the majority of people in this country are white.

1. Are you kidding? Why would a college want a monolithic student body? Having kids from different areas, different backgrounds, different talents and skills makes for a more interesting student body. If 99.9% of your student body are New England private school kids with Mayflower ancestors who all play squash and took the same classes in college, wouldn't that be boring? Yes, yes it would!

2. When you are talking about 100 applicants for every 5 admitted, you're free to pick and choose based on what kids seem most interesting to you. Also your assertion that white and Asian kids are "higher achieving" is based on your criteria. I'd think a kid who overcame a background of poverty to excel in different areas of life has achieved quite a lot, even if his SAT isn't 1600. Especially if he didn't have all the paid-for guidance and opportunities along the way.

3. I can guarantee you that all those white and Asian kids who are applying to highly selective colleges are going to get into some college somewhere. In fact, every kid can get into some college somewhere, and if you are really bright and intelligent and high-achieving you'll likely get accepted into a great school, even if it's not Harvard. Your high-achieving white child is not owed a spot at Harvard just because you think Larlo/a is super special. Get out of the dull-witted mindset that only a degree from one of a handful of elite schools is going to lead to lifetime success. If your kid is brilliant they will do well no matter where they go.