Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:59
Subject: Re:Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Worst: Dry weddings, no +1, asking for cash
I'll be mean here. 1.) cheap; 2.) potentially awkward for many guests, especially if they don't know many people; 3.) rude. You can do a tiny registry to convey the message, but you can't ask for cash.
Mid: No open bar, destination
Sort of a pain, but if I can't make it to the destination, I'd have no trouble saying no and sending a nice gift.
Not a problem for me: No-kids weddings
This is the couple's perogative. 100%
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:58
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Explanations optional.
No-kids weddings
No +1 weddings
Destination weddings
Dry weddings
No open bar weddings
Weddings of couples who ask for cash
OP, you missed the weddings where there either aren’t enough seats for everyone to begin with, or some seats are removed for dancing. To me, this is the worst offense.
I hate this soooo much. For the love of God, please give every person a seat and assign the tables. It's nice to have a designated spot to eat, leave your bag, and sit down when you need a break from dancing. The last wedding I went to like this, I was pregnant and so annoyed having to hunt around for a spot when I needed to sit.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:56
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Explanations optional.
No-kids weddings
No +1 weddings
Destination weddings
Dry weddings
No open bar weddings
Weddings of couples who ask for cash
OP, you missed the weddings where there either aren’t enough seats for everyone to begin with, or some seats are removed for dancing. To me, this is the worst offense.
I have never been to a wedding like that, but it and the potluck wedding without even water for guests deserve Special Achievement of Badness awards.
How about a wedding with hardly any food? I went to one which had a ceremony in a park and then a few hours later a reception with just some crudite and crackers, which we waited quite awhile for them to set up before offering. Then almost an hour of speeches where everyone tried to outdo each other. When we finally got out of there several us returned to the hotel and ordered a bunch of pizzas because we were starving. Worst wedding ever.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:53
Subject: Re:Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)
6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!
We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.
I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.
+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.
But at 24 things can change quickly. You can be single 6 months before the wedding when the guest list is drawn up and in a serious relationship by the time the wedding rolls around. Adding a +1 avoids the awkwardness of having to ask if you can bring your significant other.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:49
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Explanations optional.
No-kids weddings
No +1 weddings
Destination weddings
Dry weddings
No open bar weddings
Weddings of couples who ask for cash
OP, you missed the weddings where there either aren’t enough seats for everyone to begin with, or some seats are removed for dancing. To me, this is the worst offense.
I have never been to a wedding like that, but it and the potluck wedding without even water for guests deserve Special Achievement of Badness awards.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:48
Subject: Re:Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)
6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!
We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.
I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.
+1 I married at 24 and my mom was in charge of most of this stuff, and her rule was that if you were in a relationship (or married obviously) you got a +1 but if you weren’t, you didn’t. I still think it’s pretty fair and it only caused one minor issue.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:46
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:I think I have the ultimate: a 6 AM wedding on a weekday. The groom is Hindu and the family astrologer insisted the wedding be at this day and time. The bride was my close relative.
The ceremony was followed by a 10 am buffet, which was delicious but I couldn't really enjoy the food because I'm never hungry that early.
Have been invited to many dry, cash-only weddings of Muslim coworkers. I generally don't go because they all far outearn me (doctor vs nurse) and I'm on too tight of a budget to give a generous cash gift to someone I'm not close with.
My cousin is visiting and we were JUST talking about his brother’s wedding which my whole side of the family had to miss because it was at 10 am on a Wednesday, on the opposite coast, three hours from even a minor airport. None of us could figure out how to go without having to take almost a whole week off. Visiting cousin said they had some woo person say they had to get married on that particular date.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:42
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Explanations optional.
No-kids weddings
No +1 weddings
Destination weddings
Dry weddings
No open bar weddings
Weddings of couples who ask for cash
OP, you missed the weddings where there either aren’t enough seats for everyone to begin with, or some seats are removed for dancing. To me, this is the worst offense.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:39
Subject: Re:Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)
6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!
We didn't invite +1 for our unattached friends. They took matters into their own hands, and paired off at the reception. Watching them come into the breakfast the next morning was great.
I do not, for the life of me, know why someone would want to bring a date to a wedding if they were single.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:37
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:I think I have the ultimate: a 6 AM wedding on a weekday. The groom is Hindu and the family astrologer insisted the wedding be at this day and time. The bride was my close relative.
The ceremony was followed by a 10 am buffet, which was delicious but I couldn't really enjoy the food because I'm never hungry that early.
Have been invited to many dry, cash-only weddings of Muslim coworkers. I generally don't go because they all far outearn me (doctor vs nurse) and I'm on too tight of a budget to give a generous cash gift to someone I'm not close with.
But was the early wedding dry? Or cash bar?
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:25
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:My ranking, from most offensive to least offensive:
Dry weddings - Don't make your issues with alcohol, everyone else's issue.
No open bar weddings - Don't be cheap. At least offer 2 drinks, then make it a cash bar
Weddings of couples who ask for cash - dunno why but this just feels tacky. It's really no different than making a gift registry, but for some reason making it "cash" feels....eh
No +1 weddings - weddings are expensive. So unless this is someone you've been dating for a while please don't bring someone. but if this is someone serious a +1 would be nice.
No-kids weddings - No issue with this. Kids distract from the event, and they take their parents attention away from the festivities.
Destination weddings -who cares it's their wedding you're not required to attend.
Nailed it - this is my list, too.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:24
Subject: Re:Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Most offensive to the least (6 most, 1 least)
6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!
6. No +1 weddings: This is rude
5. Dry weddings: I don't drink so I don't care.
3. No open bar weddings: Again, don't drink, don't care.
3. Destination weddings: The couple is doing this for a reason, lol. You don't have to go.
2. Weddings of couples who ask for cash: Let's get away from the lame gifts. I don't care if they ask. They probably don't want/need another dish towel.
1. No-kids weddings - Absolute love this!
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:24
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Does it matter why a wedding is dry?
Say thank you for the invitation and come if you like
Leave it at that and don’t criticize, it’s not like the couple or family needs to show case their wealth. It is just a special day for them and they thought to invite you to share that day with them
But then handing them the bill for part of the festivities is cheap and tacky. They shouldn't have to bring a credit card to share your special day.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:20
Subject: Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
I think I have the ultimate: a 6 AM wedding on a weekday. The groom is Hindu and the family astrologer insisted the wedding be at this day and time. The bride was my close relative.
The ceremony was followed by a 10 am buffet, which was delicious but I couldn't really enjoy the food because I'm never hungry that early.
Have been invited to many dry, cash-only weddings of Muslim coworkers. I generally don't go because they all far outearn me (doctor vs nurse) and I'm on too tight of a budget to give a generous cash gift to someone I'm not close with.
The ceremony was followed by a 10 am buffet, which was delicious but I couldn't really enjoy the food because I'm never hungry that early.
Have been invited to many dry, cash-only weddings of Muslim coworkers. I generally don't go because they all far outearn me (doctor vs nurse) and I'm on too tight of a budget to give a generous cash gift to someone I'm not close with.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 10:20
Subject: Re:Wedding offenses: rank according to badness
Anonymous wrote:Agree that cash bar weddings are worse than dry weddings. Dry weddings are dry for a variety of reasons, but almost never because of cheapness IMO. I don't mind a dry wedding for a couple who doesnt drink for religious or cultural reasons, or for a couple where one half is an alcoholic, etc. But a cash bar wedding??? No. If you invite people to a party, you do not charge them for their food and drink when they arrive.
Completely agree with this. Cash bars are the worst. I also can’t stand when the couple asks for cash. If it’s a tradition within your culture or people know the couple has everything, then there’s no need to ask. Guests that know you, will likely know this and give a cash gift on their own.
No +1’s are irritating and feel cheap
Destination weddings are annoying but I have no problem RSVPing no
No kids weddings don’t bother me in the least. When ours were young we either said no or got a babysitter. I’ve been to many weddings where the kids are distracting or take the focus away from the actual bride and groom.