Anonymous wrote:A lot of people on this board say they’ve never been cheated on or won’t be. How do you really know? You don’t. Never say never. Marriages are long and a lot can happen. So be careful how you judge others. You may end up in a situation you never imagined. Really.

I never thought my stbx would and there were no hours unaccounted for. We still had regular sex and laughed and socialized together. He still planned romantic things. Together 20 years. I was absolutely floored and blind-sided when I found out he had a no-strings arrangement with a married woman once a month. His friends and family were shocked.

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Anonymous wrote:Yes. Most outgrow it eventually, but they all do it at some point.

This is the correct answer. Seriously.

I am 48 and reasonably attractive man. Almost all men I know have cheated at some point. That doesn't mean "affair and other woman." It could be just ONS at a conference or kissing your co-worker or less than a full blown affair.

Now, at 48, most of us have settled down and actually just hang out.

All of that being said, of course not ALL men cheat. Some are faithful and would never, ever cheat. I think that is about 25% of men.

+1. This is exactly right. Most men cheat, stray, etc., when younger, and then you grow up.

Career, kids, other responsibilities crowd out a bunch of the time and energy you used to spend on activities that could lead to cheating. You have less drive (not none, obviously, just less than a 24 year old). You hopefully have been through enough in life to think more about consequences and care more about potential impact on other people (spouse included) and other aspects of your life. And you just don’t need the headache honestly.

I think the “never cheated” number is way below 25%, though.

Not true. Most men cheat midlife. Look at the statistics. They are much less likely to cheat early in marriage. It’s later in life. Women are the opposite. They cheat earlier. 30s they now cheat on rates higher than men.

Around 60% of all men cheat and the rest just don’t have the opportunity.

Anonymous wrote:No.

Two significant things which cause cheating: cutting off sex, and making the man feel insecure in the relationship.

I disagree.

I think one thing causes cheating - a lack of integrity.

If you are unhappy with sexual frequency or the relationship, deal with that. If necessary, get a divorce (or break up if not married), and then have as much sex as you want.

While some brag, I think there are many other men who see their image as very important in their business and like to be considered family men and trustworthy. That is motivation to keep affairs secret. Women talk to their friends more.

Three quick observations.

It depends on your definition of cheating but if you count "being sexually intimate with another woman" the number is pretty high. Over the course of a long marriage, it's way above 50%

A lot of this is opportunity. If you are an average looking man, introvert who works from home, your opportunity is a fraction of a handsome, outgoing extrovert who travels for work. The latter group cheats at exponential rates. This is why you see people posting that everyone they know cheats. I work in an industry full of men in this industry and it's most if not all of them.

Statements like "I don't know anyone who cheats" are useless. People can keep them secret and low key. How would you know if your neighbor cheated on a boys trip? Most men aren't having affairs, more like indiscretions when the chance arises.

No, depends on the age group, the selfish older Genx and boomers cheat more but younger generation is more loyal

adults ages 18 to 29 says that more women are guilty of infidelity, with 11% of the women from the surveyed group admitting to having an affair. In comparison, only 10% of men from the age group are guilty. But the gap reverses as it jumps into the next age group.

Among those ages 30 to 39 years old, infidelity in men increases, with 14% of the surveyed group saying that they cheated on their partner, and only 11% of women

Men in their 60s report having a higher rate of infidelity (24%), with the number still increasing until ages 70-79, with 26% of men cheating on their partners. Women, on the other hand, have the highest rate of infidelity in their 60s (16%), but the number goes down as they approach their 70s (13%) and 80s (6%).

A lot of people on this board say they’ve never been cheated on or won’t be. How do you really know? You don’t. Never say never. Marriages are long and a lot can happen. So be careful how you judge others. You may end up in a situation you never imagined. Really.

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Anonymous wrote:Low T, overweight, unattractive, Beta-types, unsuccessful/no $ are NOT likely to cheat.

Very good-looking, fit, successful/$$$ are hit on constantly by women and when they are married they become even more desirable to gold-diggers. More likely to cheat, especially in very long marriages- no matter if they are happy or not.

It’s really an opportunity game.

What is this horseshit? Never have cheated. Never will. 41 years old. Call me all the names you want. But the guys I’ve known who have cheated have been pretty insecure or angry. Women don’t “hit on men” constantly. Is this some weird incel philosophy? GTFO.

Women do hit on very attractive men.They can get really grabby if they're tipsy and pretty forward.

If that doesn't happen to you...then you aren't a part of that group.

Women hit on very attractive men who look professional and well-off. Maybe some bar-fly cougar will get grabby with someone that is just handsome, but not your typical woman.

You're not contradicting anything I said. If you're an attractive man, it happens enough that it can feel 'constant" even if every woman in the world doesn't engage in that behavior.

Also, no men do not need to look "professional and well-off" to get hit on by women. Being physically attractive is enough. Just because a woman hits on a guy doesn't mean she wants to marry him.

I think you interpret a lot of daily interactions as being hit on if you think you’re constantly being hit on.

Well, maybe my circle is low libido and calculating but no women I know are interested in handsome low-earners for hook-ups or anything else. Frequently a man that is too handsome and charming has the opposite intended effect- he needs to dampen it a bit with intellect or being self-deprecatory.

Plenty of upper and upper middle class women drool over their personal trainers and such.

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Anonymous wrote:No, if you are a low value woman then maybe

Stop with this red pill low value and high value BS.

Plenty of extremely high value women get cheated on. Supermodels and the like.

Why does everything come down to politics? How is this red pill? Get a life outside of dcurban mom.

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Anonymous wrote:Low T, overweight, unattractive, Beta-types, unsuccessful/no $ are NOT likely to cheat.

Very good-looking, fit, successful/$$$ are hit on constantly by women and when they are married they become even more desirable to gold-diggers. More likely to cheat, especially in very long marriages- no matter if they are happy or not.

It’s really an opportunity game.

What is this horseshit? Never have cheated. Never will. 41 years old. Call me all the names you want. But the guys I’ve known who have cheated have been pretty insecure or angry. Women don’t “hit on men” constantly. Is this some weird incel philosophy? GTFO.

Women do hit on very attractive men.They can get really grabby if they're tipsy and pretty forward.

If that doesn't happen to you...then you aren't a part of that group.

Women hit on very attractive men who look professional and well-off. Maybe some bar-fly cougar will get grabby with someone that is just handsome, but not your typical woman.

Maybe this happens? Me: polished, fit, well-off, intellectual, polite, personable, engaging, and I have never been hit on. So emphasis must be on the “very” attractive.

If you've never been hit on, you're probably not as good of a catch as you're making yourself out to be or you might be facially challenged or too short.

I don’t believe my husband has cheated on me, nor have I cheated on him. The same for my parents. My mother is an extraordinarily beautiful woman, and my Dad always acted as if he thought he was the luckiest man in the world. My mom has had no interest in marrying again after he died of cancer, even though men started coming out of the woodwork when he passed trying to date her, including the older brothers of some of my high school friends.

Men cheat at about the same percent as woman. About 20% in my experience.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Low T, overweight, unattractive, Beta-types, unsuccessful/no $ are NOT likely to cheat.

Very good-looking, fit, successful/$$$ are hit on constantly by women and when they are married they become even more desirable to gold-diggers. More likely to cheat, especially in very long marriages- no matter if they are happy or not.

It’s really an opportunity game.

What is this horseshit? Never have cheated. Never will. 41 years old. Call me all the names you want. But the guys I’ve known who have cheated have been pretty insecure or angry. Women don’t “hit on men” constantly. Is this some weird incel philosophy? GTFO.

Women do hit on very attractive men.They can get really grabby if they're tipsy and pretty forward.

If that doesn't happen to you...then you aren't a part of that group.

Women hit on very attractive men who look professional and well-off. Maybe some bar-fly cougar will get grabby with someone that is just handsome, but not your typical woman.

Maybe this happens? Me: polished, fit, well-off, intellectual, polite, personable, engaging, and I have never been hit on. So emphasis must be on the “very” attractive.

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Anonymous wrote:It is interesting that people seem to be responding either “yes, they all cheat. I cheat and so do my friends” or “No, I don’t cheat, and none of my friends do either”.

Maybe they key is to find a guy whose friends aren’t cheating.

Yeah, this is a very interesting takeaway from this thread. I'm on the no side and I'd be shocked if any of my guy friends had either.

Yes, interesting. I'm 49 and have never cheated and not one of my male friends has ever hinted at cheating.

Same. In my circle of friends (early 50s) I know of no men cheating or even hints of it. Even in my wider circle of acquaintances I know of only one.