Anonymous wrote:I am like OP and don’t play with my kid at playgrounds. I do usually go with a friend though, so she has someone to play with and I have someone to chat to.
I don’t see parents interacting a whole lot but when I do I just tell myself that maybe they work a lot, or travel a lot, and this is some time they have and want to connect with their kids. I try not to be judgy.

When my kids were little and I worked a lot I wanted to play with them at the playground. It never crossed my mind anyone would think that was weird. We lived in an apartment so no backya d for a swing set. If I went to the park with a friend who had kids, out kids would play together and sometimes make friend and I would join. Sometimes other kids join us, sometimes not. It’s all play.

My kid goes to camp and plays with other kids all day. If she wants to play with me when you see me at the playground, let’s try to be judgment free. Kids these days have a lot less time with their parents in some ways then they did when we were growing up.

Anonymous wrote:Good God.

I worry for the sake of the species after reading this thread.

I do not want to be alive when this generation of children are all adults, but I will be, and it will suck.

Genuinely can’t tell from your post: are you for or against OP?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe the millennial parents are remembering how sad it was to have mom and dad brush you off because theyd rather read a newspaper than play with us. Playing with our kids to fight the generational ghosts of our pasts. Being a playful engaged parent shouldn't be looked at like its ruining the children. It's objectively better for kids to have parents they trust.

What does the bolded have to do with parents playing with kids on the playground?

The OP clarified and many have agreed: it's NBD if some parents want to play with their kids on the playground. The problems arise when that's done constantly, so no kids have the opportunity to play together, and also when other parents shame those who don't play with their kids on the playground. Different parents have different strengths.

They trust their parents and feel comfortable asking them to play. Knowing they won't get scoffed at or rebuffed so mom can scroll facebook and make snarky comments on some frenemies post. Some of the posts on here make it sound like any kid who wants to play with their parent is a dumb recluse with no social skills. Or maybe they just feel loved and trust their parent, never a bad thing IMO.

I think it's a massive assumption to conclude that kids whose parents play with them on the playground trust their parents more than those who don't. You're typically seeing these interactions, what, once, for a given dyad? And you decide that the kids playing alone or with other kids don't *trust* their parents because... why? Do you honestly think that kids who sometimes hear "no" don't trust their parents? Or that the playground dynamic you witness is emblematic of the entire relationship? Or that all parents who don't play on the playground do so because they want to snark on FB?

Really?

It's actually the opposite, for small children, if you have read about attachment. Children with a secure, trusting attachment to their parents are more likely to explore independently, and then check in with parents and then go explore more... Those kids with insecure attachments stay clinging. There are all kinds of studies that support this.

Good God.

I worry for the sake of the species after reading this thread.

I do not want to be alive when this generation of children are all adults, but I will be, and it will suck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe the millennial parents are remembering how sad it was to have mom and dad brush you off because theyd rather read a newspaper than play with us. Playing with our kids to fight the generational ghosts of our pasts. Being a playful engaged parent shouldn't be looked at like its ruining the children. It's objectively better for kids to have parents they trust.

What does the bolded have to do with parents playing with kids on the playground?

The OP clarified and many have agreed: it's NBD if some parents want to play with their kids on the playground. The problems arise when that's done constantly, so no kids have the opportunity to play together, and also when other parents shame those who don't play with their kids on the playground. Different parents have different strengths.

They trust their parents and feel comfortable asking them to play. Knowing they won't get scoffed at or rebuffed so mom can scroll facebook and make snarky comments on some frenemies post. Some of the posts on here make it sound like any kid who wants to play with their parent is a dumb recluse with no social skills. Or maybe they just feel loved and trust their parent, never a bad thing IMO.

True, honestly, independence is over-rated. I hope my kids never move out. I lived in my mom’s basement until about 37. She still does my laundry.

That’s a cool story butter ball

Yes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe the millennial parents are remembering how sad it was to have mom and dad brush you off because theyd rather read a newspaper than play with us. Playing with our kids to fight the generational ghosts of our pasts. Being a playful engaged parent shouldn't be looked at like its ruining the children. It's objectively better for kids to have parents they trust.

What does the bolded have to do with parents playing with kids on the playground?

The OP clarified and many have agreed: it's NBD if some parents want to play with their kids on the playground. The problems arise when that's done constantly, so no kids have the opportunity to play together, and also when other parents shame those who don't play with their kids on the playground. Different parents have different strengths.

They trust their parents and feel comfortable asking them to play. Knowing they won't get scoffed at or rebuffed so mom can scroll facebook and make snarky comments on some frenemies post. Some of the posts on here make it sound like any kid who wants to play with their parent is a dumb recluse with no social skills. Or maybe they just feel loved and trust their parent, never a bad thing IMO.

I think it's a massive assumption to conclude that kids whose parents play with them on the playground trust their parents more than those who don't. You're typically seeing these interactions, what, once, for a given dyad? And you decide that the kids playing alone or with other kids don't *trust* their parents because... why? Do you honestly think that kids who sometimes hear "no" don't trust their parents? Or that the playground dynamic you witness is emblematic of the entire relationship? Or that all parents who don't play on the playground do so because they want to snark on FB?

Really?

I live going on a roller coasters. Am I allowed to ride with my child or should I make him go with a stranger??

My kid likes to go on neighborhood walks or long bike rides.... Guess I better tell him. Nope. Sorry buddy. You better find some friends because I'm not supposed to hang out with you outside of our home......

Anonymous wrote:As a gen-X parent of a young kid, I find this so bizarre. I refuse. I will give hugs and snacks, encourage kid to play by herself until others come, but that's it. However, I see millennial parents do it all of the time - or actively police the playground to make sure their kid gets the choice equipment. In one case, one of the parents spoke to my kid in loud (and poor) Spanish to ask her to move off the slide (We're Middle Eastern).

This is funny. My husband is a Millennial and I'm Gen X (just separated by two years but on either side of the divide). He always runs around with them and plays, and I always stand there with a coffee and make jokes with other parents.

A mistake that I think I made with my oldest was intervening too quickly when she was socializing and interacting with other kids. I've been much better about refraining from doing that with my second (6 year age difference). But what does that have to do with a parent playing one-on-one a bit with their kids on the playground??? No other kids are involved. Despite the bizarre psychoanalysis from one or two older posters, parents spending SOME one-on-one time playing with their children is beneficial for the child, and indicative of exactly nothing being wrong with the parent or child. And there is no rule that this playtime must only take place in the house behind closed doors. My very well socially adjusted 5 year old, who plays nicely at school and on playdates with other kids, loves playing with me too, and I try to build in like 20-30 minutes of playtime with her a day. I actually like to do it at a place like a playground because if we do it at home then I will have to play dollhouse or similar, which is soooo painfully boring it makes me want to poke my eyes out, ha!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe the millennial parents are remembering how sad it was to have mom and dad brush you off because theyd rather read a newspaper than play with us. Playing with our kids to fight the generational ghosts of our pasts. Being a playful engaged parent shouldn't be looked at like its ruining the children. It's objectively better for kids to have parents they trust.

What does the bolded have to do with parents playing with kids on the playground?

The OP clarified and many have agreed: it's NBD if some parents want to play with their kids on the playground. The problems arise when that's done constantly, so no kids have the opportunity to play together, and also when other parents shame those who don't play with their kids on the playground. Different parents have different strengths.

They trust their parents and feel comfortable asking them to play. Knowing they won't get scoffed at or rebuffed so mom can scroll facebook and make snarky comments on some frenemies post. Some of the posts on here make it sound like any kid who wants to play with their parent is a dumb recluse with no social skills. Or maybe they just feel loved and trust their parent, never a bad thing IMO.

True, honestly, independence is over-rated. I hope my kids never move out. I lived in my mom’s basement until about 37. She still does my laundry.

So playing with my kids = living at home until 37? Don't hurt yourself with that reach!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe the millennial parents are remembering how sad it was to have mom and dad brush you off because theyd rather read a newspaper than play with us. Playing with our kids to fight the generational ghosts of our pasts. Being a playful engaged parent shouldn't be looked at like its ruining the children. It's objectively better for kids to have parents they trust.

What does the bolded have to do with parents playing with kids on the playground?

The OP clarified and many have agreed: it's NBD if some parents want to play with their kids on the playground. The problems arise when that's done constantly, so no kids have the opportunity to play together, and also when other parents shame those who don't play with their kids on the playground. Different parents have different strengths.

They trust their parents and feel comfortable asking them to play. Knowing they won't get scoffed at or rebuffed so mom can scroll facebook and make snarky comments on some frenemies post. Some of the posts on here make it sound like any kid who wants to play with their parent is a dumb recluse with no social skills. Or maybe they just feel loved and trust their parent, never a bad thing IMO.

True, honestly, independence is over-rated. I hope my kids never move out. I lived in my mom’s basement until about 37. She still does my laundry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cant believe parents on here would rather other parents scroll DCUM than play with their kids AND JUDGE THEM for playing with their kids?! WTAF am I reading?

If you want to be a lazy unengaged parent that's fine, but let the rest of us play with our kids if we want. Sheesh.

The problem you might be struggling with is your hypervigilant narcissism. Playing with your kids is normal behavior, e.g., in a park or a baseball field. But there are parents climbing on playground equipment and jungle gyms - that's not good parenting, that's stunted development and a rejection of "adulting."

Playing with my kid is hardly narcissistic lol. Sorry that you'd rather dump your kids off somewhere and go argue with other parents instead of engaging with them.
The OP said nothing about parents on jungle gyms, but if an adult using the monkey bars really bothers you that much you should probably just avoid the playground all together. Wouldn't want your feelings getting hurt seeing another parent actually loving their child!

Try therapy, or maybe lithium? But for sure save for your kids’ mental health needs -big bucks. Yikes.

I'm quite sure having loving, engaging and playful parents will benefit my kids mental health far more than a "dump and run" parent. Don't forget to look up occasionally from your phone while you're ignoring your child. You might miss seeing their actual pure joy and happiness, but you probably don't care about that anyways.

Hahaha. For realz. But millennial parents are the ones glued to their phones generally, that’s why they are called the selfish generation - it’s all selfies all the time. They all have ADHD. GenXers aren’t technically savvy enough to use phones.