Anonymous wrote:My daughter doesn’t date, but many of her friends do. In her school it’s common to date. But good lord, it’s drama constantly. One girl’s boyfriend was found snapping with another girl so she got back by snapping with another boy- etc etc. They talk about this in great detail in the car, completely anguished and freaking out.

So yes, it’s nice to not be caught up that drama. The relationships don’t seem especially loyal or caring.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would argue that not being interested in dating shows more maturity than the average kid, not less!

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Anonymous wrote:my 14 year old DS is interested in dating. however, he is not allowed till college. we talk about crushes and I'm open to him about it. but he ain't allowed till college.

WTF That is ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:my 14 year old DS is interested in dating. however, he is not allowed till college. we talk about crushes and I'm open to him about it. but he ain't allowed till college.

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Anonymous wrote:Both my kids, DD and DS, were academically minded kids in public school magnet programs. Their peer grop was mainly kids like them. There was a lot of mixed socializing but very little dating or hook ups.
My DD dated casually in college but was still focused on a career path. She is working now and going steady with someone she knew from college. My DS is very goal focused and while he has a huge network of friends, he is not dating anyone right now.

+1 the academically focused kids aren’t really dating.

That’s a good excuse for kids who weren’t popular with the opposite sex or same sex if that was their preference. Yeah, that’s it, the academically focused kids just don’t date.

In reality teens don’t all develop at the same rate. Some teens enjoy spending time with their girlfriends, some with mixed company, some like one on one with boyfriend or girlfriend. Nothing to worry about at all if a 16 year old doesn’t want that kind of commitment.

A lot of their parents don’t allow it because it’s pointless and just leads to drama and heartache and takes away from academic focus. You honestly think a kid with multiple AP classes and activities is going to find time to “date.”? Please. The only ones dating are usually the mediocre kids who have more time for it.

Unless the teen is so socially stunted that she never leaves the house you have no idea if you daughter hooks up with boys. When women like you (you've got to be a woman) writes something so out of touch with reality I wonder where’s she’s from. What gives you the idea that teens who are enrolled in AP classes are without normal sexual development.

The range of having a first boyfriend ranges from middle school until college age but in no way is it related to grades. True, some high schoolers can’t have much of a social life because he or she needs more than the usual amount of hours needed to do well. But that in no way stunts social growth.

My God you are nuts. I said nothing about sexual development. Several PPs said pretty much the same thing too. It really depends on what circles the kids run in.

There are plenty of top performers in school who are good looking, popular, great social skills and dating.

And there are others who don’t.

Your anecdotes are ridiculous.

I said it depends on what circles your kid runs in. The more popular, mature crowd might be dating more. The less popular kids aren’t and are focusing on their academics and activities more. I don’t see how that is “ridiculous” at all.

A lot of kids don’t even run in circles. They have activities and random friends. Some teens prefer the quiet of having a significant other and very few others to spend their time with.

You trying to correlate AP classes with not dating just isn’t true. Others posted sports as a reason teens don’t date. Why can’t it be that some teens date, others don’t. It’s as simple as that.

There are a lot of kids with intense schedules that aren’t dating. They have multiple AP classes and not much time for socializing outside of school. Those kids aren’t dating. Why can’t you accept that?

Why in every topic someone randomly brings up AP classes or how they are wealthy so doesn’t apply? There are hundreds of different reasons why individuals in this age group are dating or not dating. I doubt taking AP classes doesn’t even top the list.

For 16 year olds who take 8 AP classes, they are old enough to get together with a boyfriend to study. They can FaceTime, eat lunch together, go to a party together on Saturday night. They can add a boyfriend if wanted.

Plus there are other reasons that 16 year olds have intense schedules. They might need to put in more study hours than most just to keep their grades up. They might be spending their nights acting in local theater or doing professional work. They could have serious training in ballet that take up all their time. They might have a 25 hour a week job.

Students have all sorts of interesting lives outside of school and they either choose to date or decide they don’t want to or nobody is interested in them.

Why are you so worked up about it? I agree with this, it could be a combo of stuff. I said “activities” and intense schedules. That could mean playing an instrument or taking private lessons. Or it could be indeed multiple AP classes and too much homework. I was a very slow worker and had no time for a social life in order to maintain a straight A average. A lot of times it’s not a choice to not date - it could be parents don’t approve or the kids doesn’t have time to socialize.

It’s just odd that the only group of teens that are ever referenced are teens that take AP classes as if they are so one dimensional and there are no other teens out there. It’s the stereotypes that bug me.

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Anonymous wrote:Both my kids, DD and DS, were academically minded kids in public school magnet programs. Their peer grop was mainly kids like them. There was a lot of mixed socializing but very little dating or hook ups.
My DD dated casually in college but was still focused on a career path. She is working now and going steady with someone she knew from college. My DS is very goal focused and while he has a huge network of friends, he is not dating anyone right now.

+1 the academically focused kids aren’t really dating.

That’s a good excuse for kids who weren’t popular with the opposite sex or same sex if that was their preference. Yeah, that’s it, the academically focused kids just don’t date.

In reality teens don’t all develop at the same rate. Some teens enjoy spending time with their girlfriends, some with mixed company, some like one on one with boyfriend or girlfriend. Nothing to worry about at all if a 16 year old doesn’t want that kind of commitment.

A lot of their parents don’t allow it because it’s pointless and just leads to drama and heartache and takes away from academic focus. You honestly think a kid with multiple AP classes and activities is going to find time to “date.”? Please. The only ones dating are usually the mediocre kids who have more time for it.

Unless the teen is so socially stunted that she never leaves the house you have no idea if you daughter hooks up with boys. When women like you (you've got to be a woman) writes something so out of touch with reality I wonder where’s she’s from. What gives you the idea that teens who are enrolled in AP classes are without normal sexual development.

The range of having a first boyfriend ranges from middle school until college age but in no way is it related to grades. True, some high schoolers can’t have much of a social life because he or she needs more than the usual amount of hours needed to do well. But that in no way stunts social growth.

My God you are nuts. I said nothing about sexual development. Several PPs said pretty much the same thing too. It really depends on what circles the kids run in.

There are plenty of top performers in school who are good looking, popular, great social skills and dating.

And there are others who don’t.

Your anecdotes are ridiculous.

I said it depends on what circles your kid runs in. The more popular, mature crowd might be dating more. The less popular kids aren’t and are focusing on their academics and activities more. I don’t see how that is “ridiculous” at all.

A lot of kids don’t even run in circles. They have activities and random friends. Some teens prefer the quiet of having a significant other and very few others to spend their time with.

You trying to correlate AP classes with not dating just isn’t true. Others posted sports as a reason teens don’t date. Why can’t it be that some teens date, others don’t. It’s as simple as that.

There are a lot of kids with intense schedules that aren’t dating. They have multiple AP classes and not much time for socializing outside of school. Those kids aren’t dating. Why can’t you accept that?

Why in every topic someone randomly brings up AP classes or how they are wealthy so doesn’t apply? There are hundreds of different reasons why individuals in this age group are dating or not dating. I doubt taking AP classes doesn’t even top the list.

For 16 year olds who take 8 AP classes, they are old enough to get together with a boyfriend to study. They can FaceTime, eat lunch together, go to a party together on Saturday night. They can add a boyfriend if wanted.

Plus there are other reasons that 16 year olds have intense schedules. They might need to put in more study hours than most just to keep their grades up. They might be spending their nights acting in local theater or doing professional work. They could have serious training in ballet that take up all their time. They might have a 25 hour a week job.

Students have all sorts of interesting lives outside of school and they either choose to date or decide they don’t want to or nobody is interested in them.

Why are you so worked up about it? I agree with this, it could be a combo of stuff. I said “activities” and intense schedules. That could mean playing an instrument or taking private lessons. Or it could be indeed multiple AP classes and too much homework. I was a very slow worker and had no time for a social life in order to maintain a straight A average. A lot of times it’s not a choice to not date - it could be parents don’t approve or the kids doesn’t have time to socialize.

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Anonymous wrote:Both my kids, DD and DS, were academically minded kids in public school magnet programs. Their peer grop was mainly kids like them. There was a lot of mixed socializing but very little dating or hook ups.
My DD dated casually in college but was still focused on a career path. She is working now and going steady with someone she knew from college. My DS is very goal focused and while he has a huge network of friends, he is not dating anyone right now.

+1 the academically focused kids aren’t really dating.

That’s a good excuse for kids who weren’t popular with the opposite sex or same sex if that was their preference. Yeah, that’s it, the academically focused kids just don’t date.

In reality teens don’t all develop at the same rate. Some teens enjoy spending time with their girlfriends, some with mixed company, some like one on one with boyfriend or girlfriend. Nothing to worry about at all if a 16 year old doesn’t want that kind of commitment.

A lot of their parents don’t allow it because it’s pointless and just leads to drama and heartache and takes away from academic focus. You honestly think a kid with multiple AP classes and activities is going to find time to “date.”? Please. The only ones dating are usually the mediocre kids who have more time for it.

Unless the teen is so socially stunted that she never leaves the house you have no idea if you daughter hooks up with boys. When women like you (you've got to be a woman) writes something so out of touch with reality I wonder where’s she’s from. What gives you the idea that teens who are enrolled in AP classes are without normal sexual development.

The range of having a first boyfriend ranges from middle school until college age but in no way is it related to grades. True, some high schoolers can’t have much of a social life because he or she needs more than the usual amount of hours needed to do well. But that in no way stunts social growth.

My God you are nuts. I said nothing about sexual development. Several PPs said pretty much the same thing too. It really depends on what circles the kids run in.

There are plenty of top performers in school who are good looking, popular, great social skills and dating.

And there are others who don’t.

Your anecdotes are ridiculous.

I said it depends on what circles your kid runs in. The more popular, mature crowd might be dating more. The less popular kids aren’t and are focusing on their academics and activities more. I don’t see how that is “ridiculous” at all.

A lot of kids don’t even run in circles. They have activities and random friends. Some teens prefer the quiet of having a significant other and very few others to spend their time with.

You trying to correlate AP classes with not dating just isn’t true. Others posted sports as a reason teens don’t date. Why can’t it be that some teens date, others don’t. It’s as simple as that.

There are a lot of kids with intense schedules that aren’t dating. They have multiple AP classes and not much time for socializing outside of school. Those kids aren’t dating. Why can’t you accept that?

Why in every topic someone randomly brings up AP classes or how they are wealthy so doesn’t apply? There are hundreds of different reasons why individuals in this age group are dating or not dating. I doubt taking AP classes doesn’t even top the list.

For 16 year olds who take 8 AP classes, they are old enough to get together with a boyfriend to study. They can FaceTime, eat lunch together, go to a party together on Saturday night. They can add a boyfriend if wanted.

Plus there are other reasons that 16 year olds have intense schedules. They might need to put in more study hours than most just to keep their grades up. They might be spending their nights acting in local theater or doing professional work. They could have serious training in ballet that take up all their time. They might have a 25 hour a week job.

Students have all sorts of interesting lives outside of school and they either choose to date or decide they don’t want to or nobody is interested in them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids, DD and DS, were academically minded kids in public school magnet programs. Their peer grop was mainly kids like them. There was a lot of mixed socializing but very little dating or hook ups.
My DD dated casually in college but was still focused on a career path. She is working now and going steady with someone she knew from college. My DS is very goal focused and while he has a huge network of friends, he is not dating anyone right now.

+1 the academically focused kids aren’t really dating.

That’s a good excuse for kids who weren’t popular with the opposite sex or same sex if that was their preference. Yeah, that’s it, the academically focused kids just don’t date.

In reality teens don’t all develop at the same rate. Some teens enjoy spending time with their girlfriends, some with mixed company, some like one on one with boyfriend or girlfriend. Nothing to worry about at all if a 16 year old doesn’t want that kind of commitment.

A lot of their parents don’t allow it because it’s pointless and just leads to drama and heartache and takes away from academic focus. You honestly think a kid with multiple AP classes and activities is going to find time to “date.”? Please. The only ones dating are usually the mediocre kids who have more time for it.

Unless the teen is so socially stunted that she never leaves the house you have no idea if you daughter hooks up with boys. When women like you (you've got to be a woman) writes something so out of touch with reality I wonder where’s she’s from. What gives you the idea that teens who are enrolled in AP classes are without normal sexual development.

The range of having a first boyfriend ranges from middle school until college age but in no way is it related to grades. True, some high schoolers can’t have much of a social life because he or she needs more than the usual amount of hours needed to do well. But that in no way stunts social growth.

My God you are nuts. I said nothing about sexual development. Several PPs said pretty much the same thing too. It really depends on what circles the kids run in.

There are plenty of top performers in school who are good looking, popular, great social skills and dating.

And there are others who don’t.

Your anecdotes are ridiculous.

I said it depends on what circles your kid runs in. The more popular, mature crowd might be dating more. The less popular kids aren’t and are focusing on their academics and activities more. I don’t see how that is “ridiculous” at all.