Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the roommate from the south? I am, and judging from my Facebook feed, some southern moms and their daughters get very into having a coordinated room decor. It’s seems over the top to me personally but to each her own.

Has your daughter already shopped for her things?

It’s fine not to get a headboard. I would be pleasant and coordinate a but by let roommate know you are only planning on bringing x, y, and a. Maybe let the roommate take the lead on deciding colors if your daughter doesn’t care and doesn’t have her stuff yet.

Well all of the DMV is in the South..., but it is not just a southern thing. I've had one at UMD and one at Boston College. Both coordinated decorations. All of these dorm room decorations and furniture (like headboards) are super cheap now. It is not like when we were in school.

The DC area is not the South.

-Southerner

The DC area is definitely South, to anyone who is from North of the Mason Dixon Line.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Giving control freak vibes, privately. To your DD, try to be enrhusiastic and see this as an opportunity for both self expression and get to know roomate better before school starts.

+1 Yes, afraid this may be a control freak too. I showed my DD some nice pillows I found that can be put on the bed like a headboard sort of..but not. You just lean up against it or put it on the wall for a comfortable sitting area on your bed. Roommate said "well, we need to find out where the beds are placed first!" Seemed like she was really taking charge and I have the most mild mannered DD. So, yes, I am afraid of a control freak roommate and pray this won't be the case for DD's first semester.

As I said, don't want to get off on the wrong foot or be seen as a kill joy. Idea to coordinate colors is a good one.

Honestly, I never thought of this way back when. AS long as my roommate was clean and decent and not scr$wing someone in my room everynight, things were great by me.

So, your daughter can say "I'm pretty sure I won't be getting a headboard, so you can just get whatever you want. Do you want to coordinate colors for bedding, though?"

I went to college in 1994 and my roommate and I coordinated. Not to the degree some girls do today, but we did talk about it before we purchased things. RIP Linens N Things

Headboard is just another piece of unneeded crap.
Get a husband pillow and be done with it.
https://www.target.com/p/sherpa-bed-rest-pillow-room-essentials/-/A-82072745

Anonymous wrote:Give daughter a budget, tell her to tell the roommate the budget but make sure daughter likes the items picked or tell her to pick her own as she's got to live with it for four years and probably will change roommates.

Roomate, I have a budget of $200. I like pink, blue and grey. I was thinking of this as my comforter.

+100

OP’s original post was all about their preferences, nothing about their child. You are sending your daughter off to live in her own - learning to negotiate with her roommate and make decisions about her living space are daily low risk baby steps. Give her a budget and let her decide what she wants to spend on. I went to school in the Deep South and the first thing my roommate and I talked about was colors, but we didn’t really decorate. Even 20 years ago fully decorating a room was a thing, which I didn’t realize until I got there & our neighbors had matching comforters/dust ruffles/pillows. Shelves put up, decor etc. Now thanks to Tik tok and Bama rush, most kids are aware of it. You might see it as wasteful, but if that was an important value to you, hopefully you instilled it in her while she lived at home the past 18 years - now is the time she gets to figure out what she wants. Don’t micromanage!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My rising college sophomore is texting her apartment roommate right now about how to decorate their new place. Yes, it is a thing. I don't know why this is a problem for you, OP. Feeling a loss of control? Let your daughter dream and look forward to things!

Sure. And people have budgets. Many kids in my state school were either on scholarship or took out loans. You are also a dolt

Even those people have to have bedding and coordinate a fridge if not provided. I don’t understand why people take things to the extreme. This poor roomate asked a simple question that half the girls do. I don’t understand why a response is such a big deal…I mean OPs kid is out of state and it’s such a hardship to respond? She must not have taken a phone with her.

The only person I sympathize with in this whole scenario is the room mate. Not a good sign when the most basic of questions is blown up in this way.

Oh, it was a basic question.

Don’t spend a lot on decor before your kid even meets their roommate. It may not work out. Lots of kids change dorm rooms.

Also, just take the bare minimum of stuff. Those rooms are tiny!

My HS DD is currently doing a summer residential program at a college and it’s been eye opening. So much stuff is just unnecessary. Be a minimalist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the roommate from the south? I am, and judging from my Facebook feed, some southern moms and their daughters get very into having a coordinated room decor. It’s seems over the top to me personally but to each her own.

Has your daughter already shopped for her things?

It’s fine not to get a headboard. I would be pleasant and coordinate a but by let roommate know you are only planning on bringing x, y, and a. Maybe let the roommate take the lead on deciding colors if your daughter doesn’t care and doesn’t have her stuff yet.

Well all of the DMV is in the South..., but it is not just a southern thing. I've had one at UMD and one at Boston College. Both coordinated decorations. All of these dorm room decorations and furniture (like headboards) are super cheap now. It is not like when we were in school.

The DC area is not the South.

-Southerner

Oh if you say so then it must be true

-another Southerner

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the roommate from the south? I am, and judging from my Facebook feed, some southern moms and their daughters get very into having a coordinated room decor. It’s seems over the top to me personally but to each her own.

Has your daughter already shopped for her things?

It’s fine not to get a headboard. I would be pleasant and coordinate a but by let roommate know you are only planning on bringing x, y, and a. Maybe let the roommate take the lead on deciding colors if your daughter doesn’t care and doesn’t have her stuff yet.

Well all of the DMV is in the South..., but it is not just a southern thing. I've had one at UMD and one at Boston College. Both coordinated decorations. All of these dorm room decorations and furniture (like headboards) are super cheap now. It is not like when we were in school.

The DC area is not the South.

-Southerner

Give daughter a budget, tell her to tell the roommate the budget but make sure daughter likes the items picked or tell her to pick her own as she's got to live with it for four years and probably will change roommates.

Roomate, I have a budget of $200. I like pink, blue and grey. I was thinking of this as my comforter.

I would just give your daughter a budget and let her figure it out herself as an almost adult.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of girls like to decorate and coordinate with their roommates. It’s pretty common nowadays.
Just have your DD be honest and say what she can and can’t do.

Plus 1

+1. This is good advice without the lecturing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My rising college sophomore is texting her apartment roommate right now about how to decorate their new place. Yes, it is a thing. I don't know why this is a problem for you, OP. Feeling a loss of control? Let your daughter dream and look forward to things!

Sure. And people have budgets. Many kids in my state school were either on scholarship or took out loans. You are also a dolt

Even those people have to have bedding and coordinate a fridge if not provided. I don’t understand why people take things to the extreme. This poor roomate asked a simple question that half the girls do. I don’t understand why a response is such a big deal…I mean OPs kid is out of state and it’s such a hardship to respond? She must not have taken a phone with her.

The only person I sympathize with in this whole scenario is the room mate. Not a good sign when the most basic of questions is blown up in this way.

Totally agree +1, sounds like the roommate may be in for a long year.

Anonymous wrote:I have a son starting college in the fall. I told him to ask his roommate what color rug they should buy or if he was bringing a mini fridge and was given the from my son. He also may have said, "I'm not a girl. We aren't coordinating pillows".

From this exchange, I think I realized that yes, it's a thing to coordinate pillows and headboards and that it's not my son's thing to do so.

I suggested DS mention to his roommate that he was bringing a minifridge that they could share to sort of begin a conversation about the room. The guy replied "Great Thanks". Somehow it worked out find and they have stayed friends for all the years.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of girls like to decorate and coordinate with their roommates. It’s pretty common nowadays.
Just have your DD be honest and say what she can and can’t do.

Plus 1