My man this woman probably got caught f***king the pool guy. Dump her asap like tonight.

Anonymous wrote:I have been dating this wonderful woman for last 8 months and things are going great. I am divorced and at the start she told me that she was divorced but in a recent conversation it came out that she is not fully divorced and it hit me awkwardly. We love each other, in a committed relationship, have introduced our kids as well and talked about moving-in together by next year. I asked her for the reason for not telling me correctly at the beginning and she mentioned a bit of shame and also that some guys don't want to date if woman is separated and not fully divorced. She has been living separately from her husband for 3 years and have filed for divorce but it is not final yet. Honestly, I don't care as much about a piece of paper as for my connection with her so wondering how big of a deal this is?

It's true that some guys don't want to date a woman who is separated and not fully divorced.

Ask her to please explain why she thinks that being a woman who is separated and not fully divorced, and lies about it specifically to manipulate a guy into dating her, makes her more desirable than if she had been honest about it.

Ask her to please explain why you should be able to trust anything important she has ever told you or ever will tell you. Things like: "I didn't have sex with anyone else but you after we became exclusive."

You have only been dating her 8 months and she has been on her best behavior. Her best behavior includes telling a serious material lie to fool you (or other potential serious partners) into entering into a relationship with her.

This woman will lie about anything. You just don't know the extent of it. You need to have much higher standards for who you date, bro.

Anonymous wrote:It’s a huge deal. My now DH did the exact same…he said he was divorced three years but it was only *after* we got married 3 years after that that I found out his divorce wasn’t final until after we were dating a few months. They had been separated all that time but not divorced.

The fact that he would lie about such a fundamental thing - for WHATEVER reason - is indicative of his ease with being wildly dishonest in general. There is literally nothing (I have since discovered) that I can feel confident in as the truth. Literally nothing.

If she will lie about that, she’s very comfortable lying to you. Do not overlook that.

This. Lying was a big factor in her divorce. I guarantee it. She likely was cheating or doing other shady things since dishonesty doesn’t seem to bother her.

Anonymous wrote:It’s a huge deal. My now DH did the exact same…he said he was divorced three years but it was only *after* we got married 3 years after that that I found out his divorce wasn’t final until after we were dating a few months. They had been separated all that time but not divorced.

The fact that he would lie about such a fundamental thing - for WHATEVER reason - is indicative of his ease with being wildly dishonest in general. There is literally nothing (I have since discovered) that I can feel confident in as the truth. Literally nothing.

If she will lie about that, she’s very comfortable lying to you. Do not overlook that.

Other than this lie, how’s your relationship and marriage now? And would it be any different if he would hv told you the truth?

It’s a huge deal. My now DH did the exact same…he said he was divorced three years but it was only *after* we got married 3 years after that that I found out his divorce wasn’t final until after we were dating a few months. They had been separated all that time but not divorced.

The fact that he would lie about such a fundamental thing - for WHATEVER reason - is indicative of his ease with being wildly dishonest in general. There is literally nothing (I have since discovered) that I can feel confident in as the truth. Literally nothing.

If she will lie about that, she’s very comfortable lying to you. Do not overlook that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's as big of a deal as you want to make it.

What's the reasons for the divorce not being final? If it's financial entanglements, then that would make sense. I'd also communicate how the information made you feel and that you are disappointed that she didn't come clean earlier.

Op here. Yes, it was certainly a disappointment and I communicated to her in a polite way and this is the only time she is providing incorrect information (I didn't say lying) to me.

I your first post, you said that she told you she was divorced. That was a lie. There is either divorced or not. It’s that simple.

+1 Don't trust liars.

+100 this isn’t a little lie. This was a major lie, right off the bat.