Anonymous
Post 06/22/2023 23:20     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
I’d bring a homemade frozen meal with accompaniments for the first night - this is what we do when we drive to the Outer Banks, also about a 5 hour drive. I usually make lasagna for this meal, bring it frozen and it defrosts during the drive so I can cook it that night. It also serves as a cold pack for the bagged salad and garlic bread I bring.

Then the following morning we shop for the rest of the trip (or the next two nights in your case). If your parents have a grill, I’d do both meals on it - kebabs or cedar plank salmon one night, burgers and hot dogs the next. I’d grill corn and buy sides or see if anyone else feels like making a pasta salad. If no grill, I’d use a crockpot for tacos.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2023 19:38     Subject: Re:We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Do they not have grocery stores where they live? I dont understand why you have to cook it and bring it with you. Why cant you guys each take a night to shop/ cook dinner at home, so everyone ends up being in charge of 3 dinners or whatever. And if someone wants to order pizza for their night of dinner, so what, your in laws will survive.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2023 19:30     Subject: Re:We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
If you must pander to in-laws, prep the ingredients for whatever you plan to cook and assemble when you arrive? Although I'd either fake it or stay at home.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2023 18:56     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
I'd ignore their demands and just make/order what they want. But really your husband should have responded that way immediately.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2023 18:54     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Anonymous wrote:Is there a local caterer or restaurant that will do it the “proper” way? This is a challenge as our parents get older - they don’t want things to change even as they can’t manage to do it themselves any more. Stop asking. Make a plan, make sure DH speaks to his brother and you present a United front.


This was my thought...get someone local to do it. Name the town + DCUM folks will provide recs
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2023 17:49     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
They are probably nervous and having anxiety about how to feed everyone (from a practical standpoint but maybe also financial) but not ready to admit they aren’t equipped to host as they have in the past anymore. We experienced this and just had to take control of the food and pretty much all menu planning and prep for family visits. Don’t discuss it-just let them know it’s handled. And I’m sorry because it’s not at all relaxing for you!

Order meat by the lb and the sides from a local bbq place for the 4th. Buy festive paper goods.

Pizza and salad delivery the evening everyone arrives.

Eat breakfast on your own each day.

Bring a large cooler to house drinks that you either bring on the road or purchase there. Can also bring some non perishables in the car (chips, condiments, juice boxes etc)

Grocery shop when you get there for fruit, popsicles, lunch stuff for the other days.

Good luck!
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2023 14:02     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Baby boomers are so ridiculously spoiled. They are lucky you visit them as often as you do. Did they visit their parents as often as you visit them?

They should be grateful that you are making the 5 hour trek AND taking care of the food.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2023 13:44     Subject: Re:We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
They’re idiots. Talk with your BIL/SIL and wrk out a schedule that works fr all of you and tell your parents for the meals they are invited to join. Say no to the cooler. For the fourth cookout, grill and buy premade Mac and cheese or baked beans. Lots of wine and beer.

What they want is for you or your sibling to live close to them, cook them homemade meals, tend to their home repairs, take them on errands and play bunko with them. This ship sailed obviously and is impossible but old people, particularly boomers, get bent out of shape when they don’t get their wishes.
Anonymous
Post 06/20/2023 09:52     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We’re visiting my ILs for the Fourth of July, a 5-hour drive if we’re lucky. We’re staying in a hotel because my BIL and his family are also going to be there, flying in from Oregon. Understandably, BIL’s family isn’t going to bring anything.

Also understandably, MIL/FIL are asking for help with food, but when DH just offered to pay for takeout meals, restaurant food, and/or a big grocery run (with easy things like rotisserie chicken, family-sized lasagnas, etc.), they balked. They don’t want to serve those types of meals, they want homemade.

Well, DH said he’d be happy to grill a few nights, and we can bring some supplies and maybe side dishes, maybe some frozen things like a big batch of chili. But ILs are shooting down any and all relatively easy ideas. But they also don’t want to cook themselves. And they don’t want to go out. Honestly asking for ideas of what to bring/how to handle this, but honestly…we’re driving five hours, paying for a hotel, and you won’t even let us contribute in an easy way? Hoping DCUM can pitch in with good advice. Thanks, guys!


Just tell them there wasn’t room in the car when you get there.


Can you just cook some stuff at their house when you get there, if they're insisting on homemade food like this?

Do you know why they are digging in about this - and is there a way to address that? Are they usually weird and rigid like this, or are they anxious about the visit from the Oregon folks, or...?
Anonymous
Post 06/20/2023 09:45     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean I get it’s a pain but if your excuse is that it can’t be done safely, you’re wrong. Potato salad will be fine in a cooler on ice for your trip.


Potato salad was an example you nitwit. OP’s in-laws are asking them to bring multiple homemade MEALS for 10 people.

🙄🙄
The point is that OP’s excuse is not valid (potato salad was an example you nitwit). “It can’t be done safely” just isn’t true. If they don’t want to do it, just say that instead of giving a lame excuse that’s easily refuted.


Dp. I think you’re missing that it’s not the 5 hour car ride… it’s a 5 hour car ride and then x number of nights in a hotel room. I’d be uncomfortable serving something with eggs in it that hadn’t been refrigerated for days. But I suppose everyone is different.


Don't the inlaws have a fridge?

Anonymous
Post 06/20/2023 09:33     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Anonymous wrote:Buy ice cream cake
Everyone loves that
Or just show up with store bought food, I doubt anyone will say anything

Sometimes rules are meant to be broken


Haha, this is the most reasonable advice!
Anonymous
Post 06/20/2023 01:39     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Buy ice cream cake
Everyone loves that
Or just show up with store bought food, I doubt anyone will say anything

Sometimes rules are meant to be broken
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2023 23:34     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Anonymous wrote:We’re visiting my ILs for the Fourth of July, a 5-hour drive if we’re lucky. We’re staying in a hotel because my BIL and his family are also going to be there, flying in from Oregon. Understandably, BIL’s family isn’t going to bring anything.

Also understandably, MIL/FIL are asking for help with food, but when DH just offered to pay for takeout meals, restaurant food, and/or a big grocery run (with easy things like rotisserie chicken, family-sized lasagnas, etc.), they balked. They don’t want to serve those types of meals, they want homemade.

Well, DH said he’d be happy to grill a few nights, and we can bring some supplies and maybe side dishes, maybe some frozen things like a big batch of chili. But ILs are shooting down any and all relatively easy ideas. But they also don’t want to cook themselves. And they don’t want to go out. Honestly asking for ideas of what to bring/how to handle this, but honestly…we’re driving five hours, paying for a hotel, and you won’t even let us contribute in an easy way? Hoping DCUM can pitch in with good advice. Thanks, guys!


Just tell them there wasn’t room in the car when you get there.
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2023 17:30     Subject: We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
Anonymous wrote:Messing around with trying to pass off store-bought food as homemade is ridiculous. Be an adult, do what you're able to do, draw the line at what you aren't, and don't play into this ridiculous control game with them.


Absolutely. I don't understand all the posters who are trying to come up with ways to appease the unreasonable
Anonymous
Post 06/19/2023 10:45     Subject: Re:We’re driving 5 hours; ILs asked us to bring food
I don't think you SHOULD bring food in a cooler but you absolutely can, if you have a good cooler. I use a Coleman Xtreme cooler on camping trips or long car rides and it definitely keeps refrigerated foods cold for a few days if needed.