Doubt it, if we’re only sleeping together 2x a week but she’s got energy for another guy I’m out- Id be hurt that she was being lazy for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely don’t think it’s a deal breaker, and doubt I would leave if my wife was still in love with me but just getting something else on the side. C’mon, people, women are able to have sex for sex’s sake and don’t have to be emotionally involved to cheat. Ask me how I know.

Dude if she cheats she is no longer in love with you. It’s over and you won’t get it back.

PP. This is an extrapolation from the stereotype to the whole. Everyone on DCUM seems comfortable with the idea that men cheat just for sex with no love. News flash: women cheat just for sex too.

Women don’t cheat for sex if they love their husbands. What they are doing is interviewing their husbands replacement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had 4 friends cheat and get caught, and all but 1 divorced.

JFC, do you cheat too? To have 5 friends cheating in their marriages is crazy. Like tends to hang with like.

I’m in my 50s and none of my close friends have cheated. Nobody has divorced either.

I truly like all of my friends’ husbands and if one of my friends told me they were cheating I’d tell them I disapprove and would pull back in the friendship.

You don't know what you don't know. My friends would react like you would -- so I didn't tell them! None of my friends know about my 10-year affair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re pathetically deluded if you stay because she said “it was just a fling”. First of all, you shouldn’t believe that, but mainly it shouldn’t matter. Have some self respect ffs. If she cheats, for any reason, divorce her.

It was only a fling because he used her for sex. If he would have actually wanted to divorce and marry her : it would have been love. She got jilted.

Of course she told you that. But again, if you believe it, you’re pathetic and deluded. And his intentions don’t even matter. If she allowed herself to be used by this guy, that is a clear indication of her total lack of love, consideration, and respect for you.

And guess what, if you stay with her then you are only confirming to her that you are unworthy of respect. How do you think that’s going to work out for you?

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of beta males who would stay and try to work things out. However, I tend to agree with the person who posted that when a wife cheats, it's because she's already checked out. The only reason she would stay after her affair was discovered would be if her affair partner wasn't available to her. If the AP *is* available, she's leaving FOR him.

I think this is true. I am staying in my marriage, but only because AP is staying in his. If AP left his wife, I would be out of here.

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of beta males who would stay and try to work things out. However, I tend to agree with the person who posted that when a wife cheats, it's because she's already checked out. The only reason she would stay after her affair was discovered would be if her affair partner wasn't available to her. If the AP *is* available, she's leaving FOR him.

This.

There are plenty of beta males who would stay and try to work things out. However, I tend to agree with the person who posted that when a wife cheats, it's because she's already checked out. The only reason she would stay after her affair was discovered would be if her affair partner wasn't available to her. If the AP *is* available, she's leaving FOR him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would leave. Men cheat because of opportunity. When a woman cheats, she has already moved on.

+1

Men cheat with their d*cks. Women cheat with their hearts.

Wrong. This is an outdated idea. It’s the 21st century, folks.

It’s not about an idea. It’s all biology + psychology for men

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I wouldn’t be able to hit that ever again, knowing some other guy had been in there. My kids are almost out of the house so easier choice now.

The theory is- women are a receptacle. Things linger. Men pull it out and wash it off. It’s harder for a man to psychologically go in there again.

That's ... not how any of this works.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would leave. Men cheat because of opportunity. When a woman cheats, she has already moved on.

+1

Men cheat with their d*cks. Women cheat with their hearts.

Wrong. This is an outdated idea. It’s the 21st century, folks.

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn’t divorce her if it was just fling for sex. I’d be annoyed that I wasn’t allowed to have a side-piece that whole time. Not fair.

This resonates - as a guy, not cheating is a pretty easy choice, but as a woman, cheating seems like a pretty easy choice. If only for sex and leaving out the emotional part, do women have it easier? This asymmetry gnaws at me tbh.

Married 37 years, I’m the F, depending on where I am in the relationship my stay/go has changed. Imagine it’s the same for the man. The answer reflects who and how things are today not how it actually will be when discovered. When I was young, deal breaker. When kids young, stay. Now I’m older and back to deal breaker. Life isn’t so cut and dried.

The marriage has ended if cheating happens. This is not a matter of if you find someone else attractive, or a better fit, or a soulmate. All of that is immaterial. In your long adult life, you will find people attractive, you will crush on others, you will lose interest in your spouse, you will find someone else more pleasant and sympathetic. All of this will happen. BUT, marriage is a partnership where sexual betrayal is not permitted.

If your spouse cheats, the marriage is over emotionally and sexually. You can remain married for kids and medical insurance. But all obligations of marriage is over. Depending on your own financial situation you may or maynot choose to remain married.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I wouldn’t be able to hit that ever again, knowing some other guy had been in there. My kids are almost out of the house so easier choice now.

The theory is- women are a receptacle. Things linger. Men pull it out and wash it off. It’s harder for a man to psychologically go in there again.

Yes. I wouldn’t be able to hit that ever again, knowing some other guy had been in there. My kids are almost out of the house so easier choice now.