Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's been 10 years since you last spoke with your sister how are there so many issues you're still complaining about. The dog? She didn't ask you to do something about it? Then every time you apologize she finds something new? But you haven't spoken in 10 years how many times is all this really happening?

She visited me in Arlington, VA ten years ago. That was the last time we spoke. All she had to do was actually communicate with me that my dog was bothering her. I would have asked a neighbor to watch him, or I would have left him at a sitter. That is the last time we spoke.

I've given up. I'm not doing this anymore.

Well that was quick. Just a few minutes ago you were genuinely heart broken. Glad you picked yourself up and are moving on.

Lol, this. I call troll on OP.

Naah, I think OP is genuinely a 13-year-old in a 50-something's body who is looking for internet strangers to validate her beef with her older sister who is clearly tired of OP's shenanigans. Otherwise OP wouldn't self-tell in so many ways.

Also interesting is how OP casually mentioned her sister was born disabled and used leg braces. Just glossed right on over that. Perhaps there's more going on in older sister's life that OP fails to acknowledge. Maybe life has always been that much harder for older sister who may have legitimate beef with perfect younger sister.

To be fair, OP did imply the leg braces were a way of getting attention for older sister. Not that she was faking a disability, but that the toddler was capitalizing on it. And then when she’s four, all of a sudden OP is born, braces come off, and there’s a bitter preschooler waiting to spend the rest of her life taking her irritation at the loss of attention out on OP.

Yes I’m sure the parents were complicit in getting fake leg braces for a disabled toddler. Op is deranged if this is how she thinks it went down.

You are deranged if this is your takeaway from OP’s description of the situation.

The amount of projection going on in these comments is fascinating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it's been 10 years since you last spoke with your sister how are there so many issues you're still complaining about. The dog? She didn't ask you to do something about it? Then every time you apologize she finds something new? But you haven't spoken in 10 years how many times is all this really happening?

She visited me in Arlington, VA ten years ago. That was the last time we spoke. All she had to do was actually communicate with me that my dog was bothering her. I would have asked a neighbor to watch him, or I would have left him at a sitter. That is the last time we spoke.

I've given up. I'm not doing this anymore.

Well that was quick. Just a few minutes ago you were genuinely heart broken. Glad you picked yourself up and are moving on.

Lol, this. I call troll on OP.

Naah, I think OP is genuinely a 13-year-old in a 50-something's body who is looking for internet strangers to validate her beef with her older sister who is clearly tired of OP's shenanigans. Otherwise OP wouldn't self-tell in so many ways.

Also interesting is how OP casually mentioned her sister was born disabled and used leg braces. Just glossed right on over that. Perhaps there's more going on in older sister's life that OP fails to acknowledge. Maybe life has always been that much harder for older sister who may have legitimate beef with perfect younger sister.

To be fair, OP did imply the leg braces were a way of getting attention for older sister. Not that she was faking a disability, but that the toddler was capitalizing on it. And then when she’s four, all of a sudden OP is born, braces come off, and there’s a bitter preschooler waiting to spend the rest of her life taking her irritation at the loss of attention out on OP.

Yes I’m sure the parents were complicit in getting fake leg braces for a disabled toddler. Op is deranged if this is how she thinks it went down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread has gone off the rails.

Well it’s certainty not providing the chorus of validation that OP was hoping for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, some people are really vested in proving that I'm at fault.

And this is what perpetuates these family dynamics. I said that you're only getting my side of the story. I said I was genuinely sorry, and I apologized. I wanted to move forward.

There is almost never a "nothing" in these situations. There is something. Maybe accept that your sister sees the situation differently and could have been treated poorly when you were young but you didn't see it. My siblings are older than me - 10 and 12 years older - and it's only now that I have found out how much more of a burden they had when we growing up bc my dad died when I was young. It's not something I ever saw or understood when I was growing up but now that I am older and how it was for them has come out in bits and pieces I realize that I can understand why they would accuse me of being selfish, etc. I was but it was due to my young age and ignorance of adult issues. Now that they are older, they too understand this.

So, both of us had to accept that our perception and recollection of the events in our early years are vastly different but both were valid.

My older sister was not treated poorly. She was given whatever she wanted. A new bike. An 8th grade graduation party. A new car. A sweet 16 party. A high school graduation party. The wedding. She married my BIL at 30. We each even had our own rooms, with just a connecting hallway, with a door to each of our rooms. We lived in a very old house. We had to share a phone line, and a we shared a bathroom. I just don't think my sister liked me. I don't think she liked sharing a phone line with me in school. My mother would make us wear matching clothes, like for photos, which my sister, I'm sure did not like at all. LoL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, some people are really vested in proving that I'm at fault.

And this is what perpetuates these family dynamics. I said that you're only getting my side of the story. I said I was genuinely sorry, and I apologized. I wanted to move forward.

There is almost never a "nothing" in these situations. There is something. Maybe accept that your sister sees the situation differently and could have been treated poorly when you were young but you didn't see it. My siblings are older than me - 10 and 12 years older - and it's only now that I have found out how much more of a burden they had when we growing up bc my dad died when I was young. It's not something I ever saw or understood when I was growing up but now that I am older and how it was for them has come out in bits and pieces I realize that I can understand why they would accuse me of being selfish, etc. I was but it was due to my young age and ignorance of adult issues. Now that they are older, they too understand this.

So, both of us had to accept that our perception and recollection of the events in our early years are vastly different but both were valid.

Anonymous wrote:This thread has gone off the rails.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, some people are really vested in proving that I'm at fault.

And this is what perpetuates these family dynamics. I said that you're only getting my side of the story. I said I was genuinely sorry, and I apologized. I wanted to move forward.

You said you were sorry to BIL when you were talking about your sister behind her back. Not exactly the same thing.

My BIL called me.

Of course, I let my family, my cousins and my BIL know when I would be in town, just sent a short message via FB.

Could you imagine if I didn't? I went to a large weekend festival, where are family and friends would be. I saw a lot of people there, mutual friends and family.

No, I was not talking about her behind her back. I figured she was actually sitting right next to my BIL while we were on the phone.

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister like this. She just always has a grievance with me, our brothers, or our parents. Even when I understand why she is upset, the way she handles it just makes it hard to have a relationship. It is not enough for her for someone to apologize. She wants people to tell her she's right about everything, to do what she says, to defer to her on all matters. It's not about an apology, it's about relinquishing all authority to her.

I think my sister has some valid things to be angry about. We had a not great upbringing with parents who were often very immature and selfish, occasionally physically abusive, often emotionally/verbally abusive. I get it, I was there. But my sister channels this anger against everyone, including her siblings. Like OP, I often feel like my sister is angry I was born and has hated me ever since, and nothing I do or say can change that perspective. It's not possible to "repair" a relationship like that. She wants something from me I can't give if I want to feel okay about myself. And I also grew up in an abusive/neglectful home. I also deserve kindness and empathy and a place in the world. She wants me to create that for her but feels no such obligation to me.

I dropped the rope a while ago. That of course made her angry too. But I am at peace. If she ever finds some peace in her heart with regards to me, I'd be open to that. But I'm not going to keep trying with someone who is unkind to me, disrespects me, constantly demands more of me while giving absolutely nothing in return.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, some people are really vested in proving that I'm at fault.

And this is what perpetuates these family dynamics. I said that you're only getting my side of the story. I said I was genuinely sorry, and I apologized. I wanted to move forward.

You said you were sorry to BIL when you were talking about your sister behind her back. Not exactly the same thing.

My BIL called me.

Of course, I let my family, my cousins and my BIL know when I would be in town, just sent a short message via FB.

Could you imagine if I didn't? I went to a large weekend festival, where are family and friends would be. I saw a lot of people there, mutual friends and family.

No, I was not talking about her behind her back. I figured she was actually sitting right next to my BIL while we were on the phone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, some people are really vested in proving that I'm at fault.

And this is what perpetuates these family dynamics. I said that you're only getting my side of the story. I said I was genuinely sorry, and I apologized. I wanted to move forward.

You said you were sorry to BIL when you were talking about your sister behind her back. Not exactly the same thing.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, some people are really vested in proving that I'm at fault.

And this is what perpetuates these family dynamics. I said that you're only getting my side of the story. I said I was genuinely sorry, and I apologized. I wanted to move forward.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, some people are really vested in proving that I'm at fault.

And this is what perpetuates these family dynamics. I said that you're only getting my side of the story. I said I was genuinely sorry, and I apologized. I wanted to move forward.