Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys who are in high school. People STILL ASK if we are going to try for a girl (someone asked me last week!)

1. I am never going back to the full time baby stage regardless of gender.

2. DH and I are 50y old and we are tired.

3. DH would like to retire one day.

4. Boys are awesome. Well, mine are.

5. I see my friends who girls who are fraught with drama.

6. I have never felt like I was missing out on anything.

I believed you until #5. Leave that out and maybe your boys won't pick up on the fact that you think your sex is inferior.

Most of us have some sort of relationship we “miss out on” in life. I’ll only ever know a relationship with sons, but other friends will only know what it’s like to have daughters. Some get one of each but never get to witness the bond of same sex siblings. It’s the same with our own (or lack of) relationships with siblings. I feel so lucky to have both a brother and sister relationship, but I know some friends who wished they could have a sister. I try to always focus on how lucky I am to have my sons and that we have a great relationship. I’m sure a daughter would have been amazing, and I have no doubt there are some things I’ll miss out on that you just can’t have with sons, but I’m just incredible grateful for what I DO have.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I get a small pang a few times a year but TBH more often than that I feel grateful not to have to deal with "girl problems" and the emotional labor that comes with girls (I was one, so ask me how I know). I guess I am just happy with what I have! What I have felt more often is a desire for my DH to parent a girl: I think it would make him softer in some ways. But again, totally NBD.

People who are happy with what they have don't need to complain about the opposite to convince themselves.

It's not a competition, people.

My DH took our DD to Taylor Swift. I wouldn't go to something like that unless you paid me a million dollars and got me drunk first.

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys who are in high school. People STILL ASK if we are going to try for a girl (someone asked me last week!)

1. I am never going back to the full time baby stage regardless of gender.

2. DH and I are 50y old and we are tired.

3. DH would like to retire one day.

4. Boys are awesome. Well, mine are.

5. I see my friends who girls who are fraught with drama.

6. I have never felt like I was missing out on anything.

Boys are have a lot of drama these days. Rumors on social media, fighting, it’s a hard time to be a boy. Protect them ladies

Anonymous wrote:I have boys and I do things with them like baking or crafting (which I don’t actually enjoy).
I have many friends with both boys and girls and most moms seem to be very close to the daughters. There are mother/daughter trips, special outings etc. It seems that the default is moms doing things with the daughters and dads doing things with the boys.
If they have all girls, the dynamic is different.

I kind of agree with this. My friends with boys admitted to feeling left out of the equation- their husbands and sons go on outings, Boy Scout trips, camping, see gory movies, rough house, and all around have a blast together. They try to join-in as well, but it’s almost like they’re unwelcome because they change the boy vibe. Obviously they adore their sons! But it’s natural to want a child of your own gender. Not that you can change it but it’s ok to admit things.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I’m so glad I don’t have the daily drama. I’m not a crafty or girly woman so maybe that has something to do with it, but there’s nowhere I’d rather be than their baseball games. I would hate having to acquire tickets and then deal with the Taylor Swift concert

So many generalizations in these posts. My DD has no "drama" and is super fun to be around. Prefers sports -watching AND playing- and classic rock. We're going to Aerosmith's Farewell tour this year instead of Taylor Swift.

My husband and I have a son and a daughter. I think many people have idealized notions of bonding with the child of their own gender. In reality, our son is most like me (the mom) in personality, interests, etc., and my daughter is completely different. In fact, she is exactly like her father, and they are very close, probably closer than he is to our son (and this isn't what he expected, I don't think, since had had no sisters or female cousins).

My MIL has all boys and is still sad about it. I think she’d like a closer relationship with me, and honestly in theory I’d really love that….but she comes on SO STRONG that it’s just…tooo too much, it’s really tiring. I think her fear has always been (as many PPs mentioned) not having a close relationship with her adult children, and ironically she’s almost manifested that - she drives my husband crazy.

Only-boy moms, please navigate this carefully!

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys who are in high school. People STILL ASK if we are going to try for a girl (someone asked me last week!)

1. I am never going back to the full time baby stage regardless of gender.

2. DH and I are 50y old and we are tired.

3. DH would like to retire one day.

4. Boys are awesome. Well, mine are.

5. I see my friends who girls who are fraught with drama.

6. I have never felt like I was missing out on anything.

This was all great until #5. Why can’t you just be happy without your own children without trying to put down an entire (…your…?) gender?

I have two boys and zero desire to have girls. Honestly my mom and I had a really rough relationship in HS and then when we finally bonded and grew close as adults in my early 20s she died. So i have all this emotion died up in daughters that I just didn't want to face.

But realistically my boys and I are very bonded. We talk all the time about everything (they are 7 and 11). They cuddle and give my gifts and tell me they love me. My oldest and I read the same books and discuss them. They go clothes shopping with me. I don't think there is anything missing from our relationship that a daughter would give me.

I have twin boys who are in high school. People STILL ASK if we are going to try for a girl (someone asked me last week!)

1. I am never going back to the full time baby stage regardless of gender.

2. DH and I are 50y old and we are tired.

3. DH would like to retire one day.

4. Boys are awesome. Well, mine are.

5. I see my friends who girls who are fraught with drama.

6. I have never felt like I was missing out on anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, because there’s no chance my sons will come home pregnant, and if either one impregnates a woman at a young age, the financial & logistical burden on me will be much lower than if it was a daughter of mine pregnant.

Wow!!

Way to keep the misogyny in society.

PP was correct.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is the matrilineal bond is so much stronger. Boys do what the wife's family wants, often, leaving the boy-grandmother out in the cold.

This is very true. Just think of all the complaints about in-laws on here, 99% of which are from wives, and that means they're not ever prioritizing that side of the family.

I never knew this was a thing when I was growing up. We spent most holidays with my dad’s side of the family. His family was bigger than my mom’s and they were more gregarious and fun. My dad’s parents would invite me to stay with them. They took me places and played games with me. My mom’s dad was an alcoholic until the last 8 years of his life. I really don’t have any fond memories of him. The fact that my mom loved my dad’s parents like they were her own made a big difference. My mom called her in-laws Mom and Dad and always said she had the best in-laws anyone could ask for.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think most feel this way and also most eventually make peace with it

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