At 12, give her something she can actually celebrate with - like sparkling cider, a shirley temple, etc. Its a VERY bad idea to let a 12 yr old have a whole glass. It will affect them quickly... and its a good feeling. You want them to find other ways to increase good feelings (sports, self esteem, exercise, etc) instead of synthetic ways.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't.

I'm the oldest and my parents were very strict about alcohol with me. I have no issues.

My brother, the youngest, didn't have a strict upbringing as I did. My parents allowed him to drink as long as he called for a ride or stayed where he was starting at 15. He's now an alcoholic 34 year old with two DUIs.

I'm very sorry to hear this, PP.

We have several alcoholics in our family. I've told my kids that their genes make them vulnerable to alcoholism. It's a disease that's almost impossible to beat. We love our alcoholic relatives, but they simply can't stop drinking. The desire for alcohol overwhelms them.

I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I think 12 is too young to be offered a glass of champagne. If your DD asks for a sip, well OK, but she won't like it. I gave my DD a sip of my beer, and she hated it and spat it out. I would never have allowed her to have any more than that, and she never asked again anyway.

She's an adult now, who drinks responsibly. But she knows she is at risk for alcoholism, so she's quite careful to restrict her drinking.

I think it's fine. Chances are, she'll find it sour compared to the sparkling cider or soda she's used to. However, it's a great boost to show her she's part of the celebration. Nobody would think twice about this in most European nations.

Anonymous wrote:We are leaving the country for a very special vacation. The hotel provides a bottle of sparkling wine and we are considering allowing DD12 a small half glass to toast with us. Is this in poor taste?

It's not in poor taste, OP.

But it's not a good idea either.

You are endorsing underage drinking. A 12 year old does not need to celebrate anything with alcohol. Why would you send that message to a 12 year old? If you like to drink, please examine your own habits. Some parents want their children to drink to justify their own drinking. Please care more for your child.

Kids are going to drink if they want to drink, but parental disapproval of underage drinking is a powerful deterrent. Don't endorse it, not in a 12 year old, or even a 19 year old. When they're 21, they should have the maturity to handle drinking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the benefit of letting them?

That the family enjoys a toast and a celebration together?

So you're teaching them that they can only celebrate if there's alcohol?

Anonymous wrote:12 is way too young. and I grew up in Europe where drinking at 15 or 16 was totally normal.

Same and same.
Though chances are a 12 year old will think it tastes disgusting anyway.

Anonymous wrote:What's the benefit of letting them?

That the family enjoys a toast and a celebration together?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tiny glass is fine. I’d explain to follow the laws of a country. Don’t drink in America.

I don't think drinking at 12 is legal anywhere

I'm generally pretty relaxed about this stuff, and I'd let her have a sip if she asked, but I think 12 is a little too young for her own glass. Maybe see if you can pick up a bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling something at the airport after you land (even a foreign soda might be fun! I always got excited for orange Fanta when I traveled in Europe as a kid) so she can partake in the celebration.

I don’t know where OP is, but it actually is completely legal in VA, as long as you’re in your own home, accompanied by a parent.

Whether you want to or should give alcohol to your 12 yr old is a completely different question that everyone can answer for themselves. But it’s not illegal in Virginia.

What's the benefit of letting them?

My kid would probably tell people that we let him drink. For that reason, I probably wouldn’t

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:future alcoholic in training

Disagree! I always had a small glass at Thanksgiving or Christmas growing up. It made alcohol non-taboo. You know who did turn out to be alcoholics? Kids whose parents kept wine/liquor locked away and made a big deal about it!

How your body processes alcohol, including whether you are prone to becoming addicted to it, is almost all genetics.

No big deal.

As a kid, my strict Mom let me and my brother have a small glass of champagne (with sherbet in it) on new year's eve starting about middle school. Neither of us are alcoholics - we went to Ivies, are well adjusted, and live productive lives.

It's not going to scar her for life. It's not like you're encouraging her to binge drink or down a long island iced tea!

Anonymous wrote:We are leaving the country for a very special vacation. The hotel provides a bottle of sparkling wine and we are considering allowing DD12 a small half glass to toast with us. Is this in poor taste?

I'd worry about an allergic reaction. Hotel-provided free wine is probably not very good quality and you don't want to go to the doctor because she broke out in hives and then have to confess that you let her drink cheap wine.

Anonymous wrote:A glass of alcohol could very well make your child sick. Good way to start off your vacation, with alcohol poisoning. Great parenting!

GMAFB. One sip of champane does not cause alcohol poisoning.

I wouldn't.