Nothing you can do about it so move on, he should learn to watch his mouth when authority figures are listening. Don’t pay a ton of mind to the “all feelings matter” crowd on here. Crassly poking a buddy has happened since the beginning of time and all dark humor will offend somebody.

Ban all the words in the world, a misfit toy still doesn’t make the sled. Never will

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are teachers allowed to give lunch detentions in MS? My child was assigned lunch detention for calling a friend what the teacher referred to as "the r word" in the hallway. The friend wasn't upset by it and the teacher isn't even his. From what I hear on here, there are a lot worse things being said in the hallway all the time.

Sounds like your child learned an important lesson about using inappropriate language. And yes, the "R" word is one of the worst words you can use to describe another person.

Ummm no it isn’t

Wow, you’re defending this, OP? I would be so mortified if my child ever used that word. Not only would I support a lunch detention, there would be some consequences and work at home.

What the R word

Seems like an excessive punishment for calling someone r”itch”.

Anonymous wrote:Yep, this is what it's like to teach around here.

Not, "Thank you for helping my kid learn a valuable lesson about the possible consequences of using AWFUL language."

No... just excuses, and a refusal to support holding their child responsible for crap behavior.

"His friend didn't mind!" "Everyone does it!" "He had to watch a video about people with disabilities."

Do you hear yourself? Ugh

A terribly cruel girl who was a bully for years went up to a younger child at our pool and said she hoped he got cancer and died.
Her parents weren't the least bit upset. In fact, her father said that ALL kids play the I hope you get cancer game. huh? I had never heard of it.
Point is that these parents were incapable of seeing anything their kid did as cruel (similar to OP).

Anonymous wrote:Are teachers allowed to give lunch detentions in MS? My child was assigned lunch detention for calling a friend what the teacher referred to as "the r word" in the hallway. The friend wasn't upset by it and the teacher isn't even his. From what I hear on here, there are a lot worse things being said in the hallway all the time.

I'm more concerned about how casual you are about this terrible behavior. There is almost always something worse. Should schools tolerate bad behavior as long as it isn't the worst thing they can do? Do you have criteria for what you think MCPS should condemn? Pretty much everyone thinks the "r" word is cruel. You should too.

Your son sounds like he needs some sensitivity training and you should join him. That low life attitude isn't exactly one that works well in many circles. I'd be wondering where he heard this and thought it was OK.

Yep, this is what it's like to teach around here.

Not, "Thank you for helping my kid learn a valuable lesson about the possible consequences of using AWFUL language."

No... just excuses, and a refusal to support holding their child responsible for crap behavior.

"His friend didn't mind!" "Everyone does it!" "He had to watch a video about people with disabilities."

Do you hear yourself? Ugh

Anonymous wrote:Are teachers allowed to give lunch detentions in MS? My child was assigned lunch detention for calling a friend what the teacher referred to as "the r word" in the hallway. The friend wasn't upset by it and the teacher isn't even his. From what I hear on here, there are a lot worse things being said in the hallway all the time.

Did they try a restorative circle? That might help your child understand how this is hurtful.

I've never been so impressed with a Bethesda school.

OP needs to join her kid next time.

I am so glad the school did this! Good for Bethesda. And if all your child’s friends are saying this… it sounds like he needs new friends!

I’d be horrified and embarrassed by my kid, not on DCUM looking for sympathy about a lunch detention.

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, lady. I’m pretty lax with swearing and not remotely a snowflake SJW, but you’re an absolute moron.

You honestly think your kid can get by saying the R word in 2023? This isn’t 80s. I almost think this must be a troll.

Anyway, while kids today are arguably worse than any prior generation almost across the board, one massive exception to that is how they treat peers with special needs. It is a million times better than when I was in school, and such a kinder, gentler and more empathetic culture. So gratifying to see.

Alas, there’s your troglodyte loser standing athwart history just trying to be an ass. You must be proud.

I have to agree with this.

Anonymous wrote:You're first reaction is to rebuke the punishment instead of talking with your child about how horrible that word is? I really feel for teachers with these kinds of parents.

+1
You sound like a horrible parent OP.

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I can think of a lot worse but yes - chalk this up to a learning experience for your child.



+1

I am from a different era where the R word was used all the time so personally, I would not give detention for that, just talking to but it is a lesson learned. There are so many worse things that kids are doing so it seems silly for detention for this.

Silly? You are a total a**hole. No wonder your kid turned out so poorly.

Do you think I am OP? To be clear, I am not. I also didn’t say I used the r word. The reason I said it’s silly is because unless they are giving detention to every student they hear saying the N-word, Duck, Pitch, then in my opinion, it’s silly to give attention for the R word. Now, is it a big deal? No, and a video and a summary seems fine, but otoh it also seems like they’re singling this one person out.

"Officer, why did you pull me over for speeding? Everyone else is speeding too, why aren't you pulling them over?"

But Police do pull people over for speeding. So the question is, is the School giving anybody else detention for use of the end or our word?

You really don't know how the system works. In the history of time, we have never caught and punished ALL of the offenders. But it [hopefully] serves as a deterrent to many to catch and punish some or most.

I never said that’s how it worked. When I’m asking is are ANY other kids at that school or even in the county getting lunch detention for saying a derogatory word? I have not heard of or right about any.

This sounds like a very typical consequence in a middle school. I don't think you would have heard of it if it hadn't happened to your child before so I'm not sure why that seems odd. It is a very appropriate response - use derogatory term, teacher overheard, hey instead of going to the lunch room with lots of other kids where deragotory term could be used again, you need to stay with me to eat lunch and learn a little about why it is not ok to say this. Seems like a logical consequence that fits. Obviously we are not going to convince you that defending your child on this is not in their best interest or in the best interest of raising a full empathic human. Protecting our kids from consequences only hurts them. this was not out of bounds or outlandish as a consequence, I would back down and NOT tell your kid your thoughts because you will just negate any learning that may have actually happened.