Anonymous
Post 06/11/2023 13:56     Subject: Re:After graduation, rent if lives at home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You charge rent if your kid is an absolute sh*thead who dropped out of college, is a PITA to live with & refuses to get a full time job.


Then you get them into therapy to figure stuff out, and if they refuse to go, you give them 1 months notice to move out. As long as they are working towards actually figuring stuff out and having a plan for life, I wouldn't charge or would only charge minimal and give it back to them. Really depends upon the kid and how motivated they are. But I would never keep any of the money---it would only be a tool/motivator for a lazy kid.


Therapy is no guarantee your kid will "figure things out" even within five years.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2023 12:41     Subject: After graduation, rent if lives at home?
Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine not charging rent (my kid has a decent job l8ned up) but my husband doesn’t want our kid to rush into an apartment lease. So I don’t know.


A son yes, a daughter no.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2023 12:27     Subject: After graduation, rent if lives at home?
Anonymous wrote:Charge them rent or they won't ever leave.


Unlikely, I'm super-annoying.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2023 12:14     Subject: After graduation, rent if lives at home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine not charging rent (my kid has a decent job l8ned up) but my husband doesn’t want our kid to rush into an apartment lease. So I don’t know.


But why?


Unless you are dirt poor, you are a cheapskate to charge them. Why did you have a kid if you could not afford it.


I find this statement extremely childish. It sounds like something a high school kid would say when he is having trouble manipulating his parent into buying him something. Do you think parents expect to foot the bill for their adult children forever? Unless the child is mentally or physically disabled, this is ridiculous.

I would never let them go without food or housing, but we charged our newly graduated (& working) adult children a nominal amount of "rent" per month which we put in a savings account for them until they were ready to move out on their own. I'm talking hundreds, not thousands of dollars per month because their first jobs paid rather modestly, and they were "renting" their childhood bedrooms, not a separate apartment. This gave them a slightly more realistic view of how far their salaries would go and kept them from spending the money on frivolous things. I think that kids growing up look forward to moving out on their own, and that's natural and a good thing. But they knew they were welcome at home and having a safe, familiar place to live for the first year or so helped them transition.


this seems much more infantilizing then letting them stay for free and save on their own. That’s like how I helped my child as a fourth greater set aside a part of their allowance money each week for an expensive Lego kit.


I find that kind of strange too. Our son graduated and has a fairly well paying job now. We don't charge him anything to live at home. He sometimes makes dinner for us, which is nice but not expected. Obviously he does his own laundry (which he's been doing for years whether he lived at home or school anyway). The whole purpose of him living at home is to save money for grad school or whatever he decides his next step is.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2023 11:55     Subject: After graduation, rent if lives at home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine not charging rent (my kid has a decent job l8ned up) but my husband doesn’t want our kid to rush into an apartment lease. So I don’t know.


But why?


Unless you are dirt poor, you are a cheapskate to charge them. Why did you have a kid if you could not afford it.


I find this statement extremely childish. It sounds like something a high school kid would say when he is having trouble manipulating his parent into buying him something. Do you think parents expect to foot the bill for their adult children forever? Unless the child is mentally or physically disabled, this is ridiculous.

I would never let them go without food or housing, but we charged our newly graduated (& working) adult children a nominal amount of "rent" per month which we put in a savings account for them until they were ready to move out on their own. I'm talking hundreds, not thousands of dollars per month because their first jobs paid rather modestly, and they were "renting" their childhood bedrooms, not a separate apartment. This gave them a slightly more realistic view of how far their salaries would go and kept them from spending the money on frivolous things. I think that kids growing up look forward to moving out on their own, and that's natural and a good thing. But they knew they were welcome at home and having a safe, familiar place to live for the first year or so helped them transition.


this seems much more infantilizing then letting them stay for free and save on their own. That’s like how I helped my child as a fourth greater set aside a part of their allowance money each week for an expensive Lego kit.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2023 11:41     Subject: Re:After graduation, rent if lives at home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As long as my child is pleasant in the household, self-supporting & cleans up after themselves, they can live at home forever.


And they probably will, and remain a child.


Jealousy not sexy. Your kids dont love you? Wonder why… lol
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2023 11:20     Subject: After graduation, rent if lives at home?
I lived at home well into my 20’s without paying rent, but I was working full-time and paying my way through law school at night. My parents were gone half the year, living in a southern state during the winter. I passed the bar and settled on my first condo in the same week. I was grateful that I had the opportunity to do all this and save money at the same time.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2023 10:56     Subject: After graduation, rent if lives at home?
I would not want them living at home after college so yes I would probably charge rent but leave that money aside and give it to them later. But generally I think it is better for people in their 20s to live with roommates to save money vs living with parents. My kids won't have such big student loans that they have to save every penny.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2023 06:59     Subject: After graduation, rent if lives at home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine not charging rent (my kid has a decent job l8ned up) but my husband doesn’t want our kid to rush into an apartment lease. So I don’t know.


But why?


Unless you are dirt poor, you are a cheapskate to charge them. Why did you have a kid if you could not afford it.


I find this statement extremely childish. It sounds like something a high school kid would say when he is having trouble manipulating his parent into buying him something. Do you think parents expect to foot the bill for their adult children forever? Unless the child is mentally or physically disabled, this is ridiculous.

I would never let them go without food or housing, but we charged our newly graduated (& working) adult children a nominal amount of "rent" per month which we put in a savings account for them until they were ready to move out on their own. I'm talking hundreds, not thousands of dollars per month because their first jobs paid rather modestly, and they were "renting" their childhood bedrooms, not a separate apartment. This gave them a slightly more realistic view of how far their salaries would go and kept them from spending the money on frivolous things. I think that kids growing up look forward to moving out on their own, and that's natural and a good thing. But they knew they were welcome at home and having a safe, familiar place to live for the first year or so helped them transition.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2023 13:53     Subject: After graduation, rent if lives at home?
Charge them rent or they won't ever leave.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2023 13:53     Subject: Re:After graduation, rent if lives at home?
Rather than charge rent, why don't you require them to (1) get a job and (2) put a portion of their earnings into savings? It builds good habits and it probably feels less punitive to a kid than rent. I do think if a kid is living with you, the kid has to accept that there are rules and the kid also has to understand that things cost money. The goal I think for any parent is that the kid can eventually live independently.

I will say in other countries, it is much more common for kids to live at home until they get married. This is often true in places where housing is prohibitively expensive. Living at home is really a good way for kids to save up while trying to launch their lives.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2023 13:39     Subject: After graduation, rent if lives at home?
I think a small rental fee is a good idea. It lets them get used to paying for housing, which is almost always every household's biggest bill!

Now, if you want a grace period (say 6 months or so) where they live rent free, fine. But I paid a small amount of rent after living at home for a year, and I still saved a lot of money to help cushion me for the future.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2023 13:37     Subject: Re:After graduation, rent if lives at home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As long as my child is pleasant in the household, self-supporting & cleans up after themselves, they can live at home forever.


And they probably will, and remain a child.


They don’t, but thanks for your concern.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2023 13:37     Subject: After graduation, rent if lives at home?
I paid my parents rent for a bit because I made more money than them out of college, it wasn’t a lot of rent though.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2023 10:47     Subject: Re:After graduation, rent if lives at home?
Anonymous wrote:As long as my child is pleasant in the household, self-supporting & cleans up after themselves, they can live at home forever.


And they probably will, and remain a child.