Anonymous
04/05/2023 02:22
Subject: Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Tell her that
Anonymous
04/04/2023 23:25
Subject: Re:Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:While I'm sorry your kid had to deal with that, this is what all the folks that scream and scream about their expectation of having a "village" sign up for. The village might not always be to your exact liking and specifications.
A. Nobody really screams about the expectation of having a "village"
B. In the "village," you spend time together, do work together and have relationships before one villager comes up to another and starts ranting about whatever their personal hobgoblin issue may be. This ain't that.
This made me laugh and it's 100% true.
Anonymous
04/04/2023 23:05
Subject: Re:Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:While I'm sorry your kid had to deal with that, this is what all the folks that scream and scream about their expectation of having a "village" sign up for. The village might not always be to your exact liking and specifications.
A. Nobody really screams about the expectation of having a "village"
B. In the "village," you spend time together, do work together and have relationships before one villager comes up to another and starts ranting about whatever their personal hobgoblin issue may be. This ain't that.
+1.
Anonymous
04/04/2023 21:28
Subject: Re:Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Anonymous wrote:While I'm sorry your kid had to deal with that, this is what all the folks that scream and scream about their expectation of having a "village" sign up for. The village might not always be to your exact liking and specifications.
A. Nobody really screams about the expectation of having a "village"
B. In the "village," you spend time together, do work together and have relationships before one villager comes up to another and starts ranting about whatever their personal hobgoblin issue may be. This ain't that.
Anonymous
04/04/2023 20:02
Subject: Re:Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry this happened, this makes me rage for you…and I can totally relate to just kind of freezing out of shock in the moment, then later kicking myself for not having said something. Eff that woman. The good news is you now have time to practice what you want to say the next time something like that happens and some miserable old cow sticks her nose where it doesn’t belong
You have anger problems
Looks like OP’s biddy found this thread.
Anonymous
04/04/2023 14:50
Subject: Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, I can completely relate. When people wrong me, or behave badly, I usually trip over myself to apologize to them. Then later, I am furious at myself.
Did you by chance grow up in an environment where an adult had anger issues? I sure did. A therapist told me that flight and fight or not the only reflexes developed when you live with abuse. Fawn and freeze are also common. There’s lots of information available if you Google. I am a master level fawner, and it’s awful and humiliating, and also a really hard habit to break. I may be off-base, but in case I’m not, I wanted to mention it.
Forgive yourself, OP. You can practice for next time. But mostly, forgive yourself.
Yes I did. I had to walk around on eggshells around my father. I have put so much effort into myself, especially regarding parenting, to not be him.
DP - OP, I’m one of the ones who suggested doing things differently, which doesn’t mean tearing this woman a new one. The only addition I would have made is to find a way to say, clearly, in your words, “do not approach my child about this issue again.” This woman had NO business picking on your kid. None.
I’m a PP who grew up with parents who didn’t stick up for her (one of whom also had anger issues) and I get how hard it is, I really do. Part of breaking that cycle for means modeling healthy self-assertion in addition to not losing my temper all the time.
Anonymous
04/04/2023 14:39
Subject: Re:Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
OP I just wanted to chime in and say that your response -- "that's how she tracks her blood sugar" -- actually sounds perfect to me. If Ms. Busybody McTwatwaffle is a halfway decent person, she feels ashamed right now.
Anonymous
04/04/2023 13:56
Subject: Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Anonymous wrote:OP, I can completely relate. When people wrong me, or behave badly, I usually trip over myself to apologize to them. Then later, I am furious at myself.
Did you by chance grow up in an environment where an adult had anger issues? I sure did. A therapist told me that flight and fight or not the only reflexes developed when you live with abuse. Fawn and freeze are also common. There’s lots of information available if you Google. I am a master level fawner, and it’s awful and humiliating, and also a really hard habit to break. I may be off-base, but in case I’m not, I wanted to mention it.
Forgive yourself, OP. You can practice for next time. But mostly, forgive yourself.
Yes I did. I had to walk around on eggshells around my father. I have put so much effort into myself, especially regarding parenting, to not be him.
Anonymous
04/04/2023 13:13
Subject: Re:Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry this happened, this makes me rage for you…and I can totally relate to just kind of freezing out of shock in the moment, then later kicking myself for not having said something. Eff that woman. The good news is you now have time to practice what you want to say the next time something like that happens and some miserable old cow sticks her nose where it doesn’t belong
You have anger problems
You must not be able to relate to standing up for your child? That’s sad
Anonymous
04/04/2023 12:19
Subject: Re:Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Anonymous wrote:While I'm sorry your kid had to deal with that, this is what all the folks that scream and scream about their expectation of having a "village" sign up for. The village might not always be to your exact liking and specifications.
They want a curated village. How are grown people not able to deal with the smallest slights?
Anonymous
04/04/2023 11:20
Subject: Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Diabetics rely on the kindness of strangers. Telling off strangers is the opposite of cultivating a lifesaving community. It's also the opposite of cultivating a functioning community, fwiw.
Anonymous
04/04/2023 10:37
Subject: Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m saying this with love, op, but you need to grow a set. Maybe even reflect on why you were so intimidated by a stranger who was clueless about why a young child might need access to a smartphone. This could be an issue for your dd in the future. You need to practice an elevator pitch about your dd’s diabetes and that the phone is a tool she uses to manage her blood sugar.
This. I don’t love conflict, either, but you need to find a strong voice to stick up for your kids, partly for you, but mostly for them, so they can see when they need real defending. My parents rarely stood up for me as a kid and I had to work damn hard to learn to do so as an adult.
Same. OP - I'm sorry this happened to you. I find that the older generation is just miserable and they don't mind trying to make everyone else miserable, too.
What happened to OP was unkind and unfair, but you are just as bad as that lady. Writing off all older people? WTF? Sit down.
Anonymous
04/04/2023 10:33
Subject: Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
OP, I can completely relate. When people wrong me, or behave badly, I usually trip over myself to apologize to them. Then later, I am furious at myself.
Did you by chance grow up in an environment where an adult had anger issues? I sure did. A therapist told me that flight and fight or not the only reflexes developed when you live with abuse. Fawn and freeze are also common. There’s lots of information available if you Google. I am a master level fawner, and it’s awful and humiliating, and also a really hard habit to break. I may be off-base, but in case I’m not, I wanted to mention it.
Forgive yourself, OP. You can practice for next time. But mostly, forgive yourself.
Did you by chance grow up in an environment where an adult had anger issues? I sure did. A therapist told me that flight and fight or not the only reflexes developed when you live with abuse. Fawn and freeze are also common. There’s lots of information available if you Google. I am a master level fawner, and it’s awful and humiliating, and also a really hard habit to break. I may be off-base, but in case I’m not, I wanted to mention it.
Forgive yourself, OP. You can practice for next time. But mostly, forgive yourself.
Anonymous
04/04/2023 10:15
Subject: Re:Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Your child needs to understand that just because someone is an adult and/or a parent, doesn’t mean they have authority over her.
Anonymous
04/04/2023 10:12
Subject: Why can’t people mind their own business? Especially when they don’t know…
Teach her to say "mind your own business" and walk away.