Anonymous
08/23/2023 12:11
Subject: Re:How many middle-age adult children financially support their parents?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is this even a question? I've been supporting my parents and in-law parents for the past twenty years. My in-law parents are currently living with us so that my wife can take good care of them. Without my parents' love and support when I was young, I would not be where I am today.
Exactly! And I agree that this shouldn't even be a question. Of course we will take care of family whether it is physical, emotional, financial, spiritual or some other type of care.
+1. My parents are late 70s and have not needed any financial assistance, but I would help them in a heartbeat. (I suspect I will have to help my mother if my father (and his pension) goes first.) They have been wonderful parents, and I would do anything for them.
MIL is 98 and still financially independent, so to speak, but managing her finances and medical care and services takes a boatload of DH's time. In 2 years she will outlive her money and then we and DH's siblings will need to step in. DH is not as emotionally attached to his mother as I am to my parents, but of course he (we) will do what we need to to make sure she is well cared for.
This is what happens when you have been a good parent and you have a good relationship with your adult children. They *want* to take care of you.
So it's not enough that your MIL already lived way longer than normal? https://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html In 2 years, she will be a supercentenarian. That's more than plenty long to live.
Anonymous
08/23/2023 09:48
Subject: How many middle-age adult children financially support their parents?
I expect my stubborn parents will live in their house in the middle of nowhere longer than they should until one or both of them has a serious medical event happen that forces a move. In that case, they'll move in with my brother, because he's the favorite and he's married to a nurse. I'll be the one to deal with funeral arrangements and their estate (assuming they still haven't gotten around to writing a will by then), because it will give me something productive to do with my grief.
My in laws have saved well and have planned ahead. I don't expect they'll need "supporting" in any ways other than emotional.
My in laws have saved well and have planned ahead. I don't expect they'll need "supporting" in any ways other than emotional.
Anonymous
08/23/2023 08:26
Subject: How many middle-age adult children financially support their parents?
No, they abroad in a small town with neighbors, younger relatives, social worker, and state helping the elderly.
Their expenses are low and social security is piling up. They didn't really have to take care of their own parents. Most people who are old now worked physically hard jobs (or abuse their bodies smoking/alcohol) and their bodies give up before their minds.
Their expenses are low and social security is piling up. They didn't really have to take care of their own parents. Most people who are old now worked physically hard jobs (or abuse their bodies smoking/alcohol) and their bodies give up before their minds.
Anonymous
08/23/2023 01:26
Subject: How many middle-age adult children financially support their parents?
Our mothers are in their 80s, still drive and are both sharp. We help my mother financially. MIL has a military pension and healthcare. Her house is paid for and she lives in a low cost of living area. My mother went through a rough divorce and had to start over. We will have to figure out what to do when they can’t care for themselves. We’ve been avoiding the conversation but we need to have it soon.
Anonymous
08/23/2023 01:18
Subject: Re:How many middle-age adult children financially support their parents?
Yes, I would support my parents, my IL, my siblings, my nieces and nephews.
Anonymous
08/23/2023 00:54
Subject: Re:How many middle-age adult children financially support their parents?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is this even a question? I've been supporting my parents and in-law parents for the past twenty years. My in-law parents are currently living with us so that my wife can take good care of them. Without my parents' love and support when I was young, I would not be where I am today.
Exactly! And I agree that this shouldn't even be a question. Of course we will take care of family whether it is physical, emotional, financial, spiritual or some other type of care.
+1. My parents are late 70s and have not needed any financial assistance, but I would help them in a heartbeat. (I suspect I will have to help my mother if my father (and his pension) goes first.) They have been wonderful parents, and I would do anything for them.
MIL is 98 and still financially independent, so to speak, but managing her finances and medical care and services takes a boatload of DH's time. In 2 years she will outlive her money and then we and DH's siblings will need to step in. DH is not as emotionally attached to his mother as I am to my parents, but of course he (we) will do what we need to to make sure she is well cared for.
This is what happens when you have been a good parent and you have a good relationship with your adult children. They *want* to take care of you.
So it's enough that your MIL already lived way longer than normal? https://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html In 2 years, she will be a supercentenarian. That's more than plenty long to live.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 21:57
Subject: How many middle-age adult children financially support their parents?
My parents, no. They have been very generous with us and are fortunate.
My spouse's parents, sort of. They had professional jobs but made a series of very poor financial decisions partly out of ignorance (not gambling or anything but rather not saving or investing and bad habits with spending) so now they are on a very fixed income. My DH feels compelled to purchase them luxuries often partly because he is kind and feels bad for them but also because his sibling lavishes them with expensive things and he feels compelled to match it and is sometime asked to. I am not a fan of this dynamic and think it's unnecessary and a dangerous spiral, not to mention unequal with how we treat my parents (though I am not advocating for spending on them too). It's a very tense issue. I fear regularly that we are going to be on the hook for my in-law's regular living expenses in the future.
My spouse's parents, sort of. They had professional jobs but made a series of very poor financial decisions partly out of ignorance (not gambling or anything but rather not saving or investing and bad habits with spending) so now they are on a very fixed income. My DH feels compelled to purchase them luxuries often partly because he is kind and feels bad for them but also because his sibling lavishes them with expensive things and he feels compelled to match it and is sometime asked to. I am not a fan of this dynamic and think it's unnecessary and a dangerous spiral, not to mention unequal with how we treat my parents (though I am not advocating for spending on them too). It's a very tense issue. I fear regularly that we are going to be on the hook for my in-law's regular living expenses in the future.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 21:48
Subject: Re:How many middle-age adult children financially support their parents?
How much are guys spending on your parents each month?
Anonymous
08/22/2023 21:25
Subject: Re:How many middle-age adult children financially support their parents?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is this even a question? I've been supporting my parents and in-law parents for the past twenty years. My in-law parents are currently living with us so that my wife can take good care of them. Without my parents' love and support when I was young, I would not be where I am today.
Exactly! And I agree that this shouldn't even be a question. Of course we will take care of family whether it is physical, emotional, financial, spiritual or some other type of care.
+1. My parents are late 70s and have not needed any financial assistance, but I would help them in a heartbeat. (I suspect I will have to help my mother if my father (and his pension) goes first.) They have been wonderful parents, and I would do anything for them.
MIL is 98 and still financially independent, so to speak, but managing her finances and medical care and services takes a boatload of DH's time. In 2 years she will outlive her money and then we and DH's siblings will need to step in. DH is not as emotionally attached to his mother as I am to my parents, but of course he (we) will do what we need to to make sure she is well cared for.
This is what happens when you have been a good parent and you have a good relationship with your adult children. They *want* to take care of you.
Anonymous
08/21/2023 13:53
Subject: How many middle-age adult children financially support their parents?
I do. It's stressful. It's important if you find a partner, that is one topic you must discussed before getting married. It is very important.
My mom lives in the house that I am still paying mortgage on. And my lazy ass sister lives there too doing nothing except to complain how I mistreat her. She has been unemployed for 10 years. My plan is when my mom pass away, i will sell the house. But, my lazy sister is still there and I am 100% sure will still complain about me. So, I have to deal with this sister. I get no help from my other siblings.
My mom lives in the house that I am still paying mortgage on. And my lazy ass sister lives there too doing nothing except to complain how I mistreat her. She has been unemployed for 10 years. My plan is when my mom pass away, i will sell the house. But, my lazy sister is still there and I am 100% sure will still complain about me. So, I have to deal with this sister. I get no help from my other siblings.