Anonymous
03/16/2023 09:50
Subject: Re:My son told me I’m not pretty
Sorry Op that would really hurt my feelings too.
But... I agree with the poster that said your son sees you at your worst and your friends mom at her best. I am definitely not attractive in my dirty sweats first thing in the morning either.
Whether he thinks of you as pretty or not he likely thinks you are the best person in the world for a variety of other reasons so hold on to that. And its nonsense to say this is a major issue or will demonstrate how he will treat women in the future. He is 8!!! Use it as a chance to remind him not to comment on people's looks and move on.
But... I agree with the poster that said your son sees you at your worst and your friends mom at her best. I am definitely not attractive in my dirty sweats first thing in the morning either.
Whether he thinks of you as pretty or not he likely thinks you are the best person in the world for a variety of other reasons so hold on to that. And its nonsense to say this is a major issue or will demonstrate how he will treat women in the future. He is 8!!! Use it as a chance to remind him not to comment on people's looks and move on.
Anonymous
03/15/2023 11:59
Subject: Re:My son told me I’m not pretty
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m definitely not ugly. I am fit, average height, blonde hair in my early 40s. I don’t wear much/any makeup, rarely blow dry my hair, and I’m always in comfy clothes. I’m less upset that he said I’m not pretty than the direct comparison to his friend’s mom (who is attractive but not pretty IMO). PP is correct that he always sees her done up in full hair and makeup so that’s part of it. I am huge into fitness and healthy eating but not big into clothes/hair/makeup. I get why he said it but it still hurts that he automatically labels that as pretty and not what I prioritize for myself/our family. I don’t think I’ll bring it up to him. It will give the statement more power if I do. He’s a very polite kid and would never say anything like that to anyone outside of family so I know it’s because he felt comfortable enough with me that he said it.
-OP
Look, if you don’t want to meet the beauty standard, good for you. But don’t get mad when other people notice.
Noticing is one thing. Raising a rude child is another.
I genuinely don’t understand why some posters think I am raising a rude child. He said something honest to me because he felt comfortable and knows I’m a safe person to open up to. That doesn’t mean he would say it anyone else in his life.
-OP
Are you serious, OP? I'm debating whether to take the time to respond to this one, because the answer seems obvious to me.
Yes, I am serious. For every poster like you there is another one telling me that it’s completely age-appropriate.
-OP
It is age appropriate. It's also age appropriate to teach him to be kind and not voice every unkind thought that pops into his head.
If he says things like that to you, whom he loves, he will definitely say worse to the people he dislikes.
+1. There is nothing horrible here, but is a possible teaching moment.
Also agree a lot of kids equate pretty to lots of hair and makeup. We go by the “you do not comment on people’s appearances” general rule. My daughter is an adorable child who gets told she is “so pretty” all the time so we’re also drilling in the “pretty is as pretty does” mentality.
Anonymous
03/15/2023 11:54
Subject: Re:My son told me I’m not pretty
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My nephew regularly calls his mom “hot” which I find disgusting
How old is your nephew?
NP, but this disgusts me too. Who is teaching him that calling anyone “hot” (which has overt sexual connotations, as opposed to “pretty”) is appropriate at that age? Especially a RELATIVE? Imagine if a father called his daughter hot. He probably doesn’t totally get what he’s saying…but someone is modeling some bad behavior.
Anonymous
03/15/2023 11:24
Subject: Re:My son told me I’m not pretty
Anonymous wrote:My nephew regularly calls his mom “hot” which I find disgusting
Is she?
Anonymous
03/15/2023 11:19
Subject: Re:My son told me I’m not pretty
I tell my kids they are not allowed to comment on other people's appearances unless they are saying something kind. They're 8. They get it.
Anonymous
03/13/2023 19:06
Subject: Re:My son told me I’m not pretty
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My nephew regularly calls his mom “hot” which I find disgusting
How old is your nephew?
10
You are insane.
Insane about what comment?
Anonymous
03/13/2023 19:02
Subject: My son told me I’m not pretty
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:8 year olds speak their minds. Kids say all kinds of things.
Just let it go, OP.
Do you think a 3rd grader speaks in an unfiltered manner to his teacher?
Yes
Are you a third grade teacher?
Anonymous
03/13/2023 19:01
Subject: Re:My son told me I’m not pretty
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My nephew regularly calls his mom “hot” which I find disgusting
How old is your nephew?
10
You are insane.
Anonymous
03/13/2023 19:00
Subject: My son told me I’m not pretty
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:8 year olds speak their minds. Kids say all kinds of things.
Just let it go, OP.
Do you think a 3rd grader speaks in an unfiltered manner to his teacher?
Yes
Anonymous
03/13/2023 18:58
Subject: My son told me I’m not pretty
OP, it’s fine.
My 8 yo drew a picture of our family that makes me, mom, look like a giant penis. I find it hilarious. I am overweight and tall, not obese. He said I am so tall my neck disappears into my body (the bell of the drawing). From his short vantage point, I reckon it does.
My 8 yo drew a picture of our family that makes me, mom, look like a giant penis. I find it hilarious. I am overweight and tall, not obese. He said I am so tall my neck disappears into my body (the bell of the drawing). From his short vantage point, I reckon it does.
Anonymous
03/13/2023 18:32
Subject: Re:My son told me I’m not pretty
Anonymous wrote:He is 8
-OP
It’s ok! His filter is still developing! And I mean… we are all entitled to our opinions, we just should keep them to ourselves most of the time - and that’s what you should tell him imo! It’s ok to think but it’s not ok to hurt others’ feelings!
Anonymous
03/13/2023 18:29
Subject: My son told me I’m not pretty
Anonymous wrote:Might be time for him to learn to ask himself these questions before speaking:
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?
Is it helpful?
This. It’s time for the “it’s not necessary to say everything you think” talk.
Also - your son has different taste than you do. That woman, in her makeup, that you don’t think is attractive, is appealing to your son. That is fine. Him telling you she is pretty and you are not is not, and will never be, fine.
Anonymous
03/13/2023 18:26
Subject: Re:My son told me I’m not pretty
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My nephew regularly calls his mom “hot” which I find disgusting
How old is your nephew?
10
Anonymous
03/13/2023 18:10
Subject: Re:My son told me I’m not pretty
Anonymous wrote:My nephew regularly calls his mom “hot” which I find disgusting
How old is your nephew?
Anonymous
03/13/2023 17:46
Subject: My son told me I’m not pretty
Ouch!
I commented on my mom's looks when I was 6. I had met my friend's grandma and later told my mom, "she had more wrinkles than even you!" 😬😬😬
I commented on my mom's looks when I was 6. I had met my friend's grandma and later told my mom, "she had more wrinkles than even you!" 😬😬😬