Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is between one man and one woman until death of one party. (Very unpopular, no one in this thread believes this)

Finances should be totally joint and undisentangleable. (See above)

More people should choose celibacy. Marriage is definitely hard but there is at least a point to it; sleeping with people as a single person sounds a lot more fun than it actually ends up being. The juice isn’t worth the squeeze, as they say.

You have to be a very special person to enjoy monogamy. Sleeping with single people is very very fun if you're single.

Can someone please explain it to me how it’s very very fun? Dating scene sex is very limited in terms of not having oral on multiple partners, changing partners before I can even get into his rhythm, using protection and scare of infections. It takes couple months for me just to adjust my pelvic floor to a new partner, learn to trust them allow certain things etc.

Are you a man who just like PIV in condom with many different women ? Because to me as a woman it’s not nearly as fun as marital unprotected sex of greater variety

I’m a woman and I think it’s fun! I’m attractive and find it easy to match. I don’t fall into partners randomly - I’m dating for sex and fun as I won’t marry again. I also don’t take months to “warm up” or “adjust” to a partner!?!?

I think you need to relax a little.

I don’t get it: do they all perform oral on you during “dating” sex? Do you like oral on multiple men ? How do you avoid STDs?

How did you avoid it before you were married? Fact: most people don’t have an STI.

I only had 3 partners including my exH before getting married. With each we took STD tests, only used protection for the first few times until both were certain we don’t date others. They pulled out and I was on birth control after. Has oral and anal very early soon after STD test. Sex happened after 1-2 months of dating and introducing BFs to my family and getting my family approval. It was in Eastern Europe 25 years ago. Met my exH at 24 after two other long term relationships. But here in the US men expect sex after 3 dates, use condoms (which don’t even protect against all STDs). They want oral of course but I can’t force myself to enjoy it this way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is not a need, it is a want or desire. Nobody ever died from not having it. Don't accept "I have to get my needs met" as an excuse for anything, it just rationalizes bad behavior, lack of self control, and misunderstanding of actual biological needs.

Thank you for the perspective of a sex negative fourth wave feminist.

Not sure why this is getting so much blowback. If you washed up alone on a desert island, it’s the lack of food and/or water, not the lack of sex, that would eventually kill you. It’s just a fact.

Some people want to do more in this life than just survive.

Well, sure, but that doesn’t make it a need, any more than any other pleasurable but non-life sustaining activity.

+1. When your focus is on your sex life, eventually you are going to be disappointed: hormones shift, erectile dysfunction, weight fluctuations, etc….enjoy sex, but if it’s the summit of what you need for happiness, brace for impact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is not a need, it is a want or desire. Nobody ever died from not having it. Don't accept "I have to get my needs met" as an excuse for anything, it just rationalizes bad behavior, lack of self control, and misunderstanding of actual biological needs.

Thank you for the perspective of a sex negative fourth wave feminist.

Not sure why this is getting so much blowback. If you washed up alone on a desert island, it’s the lack of food and/or water, not the lack of sex, that would eventually kill you. It’s just a fact.

Some people want to do more in this life than just survive.

Well, sure, but that doesn’t make it a need, any more than any other pleasurable but non-life sustaining activity.

It's a need for my marriage (aside from during times with severe health issues, that either of us seeking treatment for).

In age gap relationships*, the younger, hotter person has all the power.

*celebrity relationships don’t count.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is not a need, it is a want or desire. Nobody ever died from not having it. Don't accept "I have to get my needs met" as an excuse for anything, it just rationalizes bad behavior, lack of self control, and misunderstanding of actual biological needs.

Thank you for the perspective of a sex negative fourth wave feminist.

Not sure why this is getting so much blowback. If you washed up alone on a desert island, it’s the lack of food and/or water, not the lack of sex, that would eventually kill you. It’s just a fact.

O.K. let's run with that--using your example of being washed up alone on a desert island.

In addition to not needing sex, (according to your definition of "need",) the castway wouldn't need:

1. A house with a roof over her head. You can just make a little shelter out of palm tree branches.
2. Running water, or plumbing. You can just look for natural sources of rain water and take a dump in a hole in the ground.
3. Grocery stores. You can just eat bugs, plants, and raw fish or seagulls.
4. Birthday cake for your 40th birthday.

Shall I go on?

Many people do not live in houses. I listed food and water as necessities. Birthday cake is nice but you can get along without it. Your entire argument is pretty bad and much of it dovetails with what I said.

Let us all know when you give your house away to charity and by the way how do you get mail delivered to the bridge you are going to be living under. Thanks for playing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is not a need, it is a want or desire. Nobody ever died from not having it. Don't accept "I have to get my needs met" as an excuse for anything, it just rationalizes bad behavior, lack of self control, and misunderstanding of actual biological needs.

Thank you for the perspective of a sex negative fourth wave feminist.

Not sure why this is getting so much blowback. If you washed up alone on a desert island, it’s the lack of food and/or water, not the lack of sex, that would eventually kill you. It’s just a fact.

O.K. let's run with that--using your example of being washed up alone on a desert island.

In addition to not needing sex, (according to your definition of "need",) the castway wouldn't need:

1. A house with a roof over her head. You can just make a little shelter out of palm tree branches.
2. Running water, or plumbing. You can just look for natural sources of rain water and take a dump in a hole in the ground.
3. Grocery stores. You can just eat bugs, plants, and raw fish or seagulls.
4. Birthday cake for your 40th birthday.

Shall I go on?

Many people do not live in houses. I listed food and water as necessities. Birthday cake is nice but you can get along without it. Your entire argument is pretty bad and much of it dovetails with what I said.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is not a need, it is a want or desire. Nobody ever died from not having it. Don't accept "I have to get my needs met" as an excuse for anything, it just rationalizes bad behavior, lack of self control, and misunderstanding of actual biological needs.

Thank you for the perspective of a sex negative fourth wave feminist.

Not sure why this is getting so much blowback. If you washed up alone on a desert island, it’s the lack of food and/or water, not the lack of sex, that would eventually kill you. It’s just a fact.

Some people want to do more in this life than just survive.

Well, sure, but that doesn’t make it a need, any more than any other pleasurable but non-life sustaining activity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:long-term monogamy and sexual desire are incompatible. I am not sure this is unpopular, but people certainly don't want to acknowledge that monogamy as we know it has dire, dire consequences.

Agree. It should be okay to not want sex after 20 years of a marriage.

If both parties are ok with no sex after 25 years what is the problem? Hugging, kisses, and snuggling are enough intimacy at that point, it shouldn't be frowned upon.

But what about the rest of us who aren't bed death lesbians?

Not sure if reading comprehension is your strong suit but I bolded the part of the PP's post that you seem to have missed.

If both parties are ok with no sex after 25 years what is the problem? Hugging, kisses, and snuggling are enough intimacy at that point, it shouldn't be frowned upon.

You don't know even a single heterosexual couple where "both parties are ok with no sex after 25 years". I mean, in real life. You fabricated a ridiculous hypothetical as an excuse for your own neurotic asexuality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is not a need, it is a want or desire. Nobody ever died from not having it. Don't accept "I have to get my needs met" as an excuse for anything, it just rationalizes bad behavior, lack of self control, and misunderstanding of actual biological needs.

Thank you for the perspective of a sex negative fourth wave feminist.

Not sure why this is getting so much blowback. If you washed up alone on a desert island, it’s the lack of food and/or water, not the lack of sex, that would eventually kill you. It’s just a fact.

O.K. let's run with that--using your example of being washed up alone on a desert island.

In addition to not needing sex, (according to your definition of "need",) the castway wouldn't need:

1. A house with a roof over her head. You can just make a little shelter out of palm tree branches.
2. Running water, or plumbing. You can just look for natural sources of rain water and take a dump in a hole in the ground.
3. Grocery stores. You can just eat bugs, plants, and raw fish or seagulls.
4. Birthday cake for your 40th birthday.

Shall I go on?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex is not a need, it is a want or desire. Nobody ever died from not having it. Don't accept "I have to get my needs met" as an excuse for anything, it just rationalizes bad behavior, lack of self control, and misunderstanding of actual biological needs.

Thank you for the perspective of a sex negative fourth wave feminist.

Not sure why this is getting so much blowback. If you washed up alone on a desert island, it’s the lack of food and/or water, not the lack of sex, that would eventually kill you. It’s just a fact.

Some people want to do more in this life than just survive.

Anonymous wrote:Sex is not a need, it is a want or desire. Nobody ever died from not having it. Don't accept "I have to get my needs met" as an excuse for anything, it just rationalizes bad behavior, lack of self control, and misunderstanding of actual biological needs.

You are deeply in need of good sex. It has amazing benefits to the mind and body.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get why some people take issue with spouses being best friends.

Because a spouse, by definition, is a very different relationship with different expectations. I am saying it as someone who's been married for a long time, and who has several close friends all of whom are married for 20+ years.

My spouse is my best friend, and we’ve been together 22 years. Don’t see the problem.

I have been with my spouse for 34 years. Married 30 years. I feel the same. And when you successfuly raise kids, it is very satisfying to look at each other and go “wow! We did it”

Anonymous wrote:Women are under no obligation to tell a man if she’s having an abortion. It’s wonderful if she feels comfortable doing so, but it is not incumbent.

Agreed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:long-term monogamy and sexual desire are incompatible. I am not sure this is unpopular, but people certainly don't want to acknowledge that monogamy as we know it has dire, dire consequences.

Agree. It should be okay to not want sex after 20 years of a marriage.

If both parties are ok with no sex after 25 years what is the problem? Hugging, kisses, and snuggling are enough intimacy at that point, it shouldn't be frowned upon.

But what about the rest of us who aren't bed death lesbians?

Not sure if reading comprehension is your strong suit but I bolded the part of the PP's post that you seem to have missed.

If both parties are ok with no sex after 25 years what is the problem? Hugging, kisses, and snuggling are enough intimacy at that point, it shouldn't be frowned upon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is between one man and one woman until death of one party. (Very unpopular, no one in this thread believes this)

Finances should be totally joint and undisentangleable. (See above)

More people should choose celibacy. Marriage is definitely hard but there is at least a point to it; sleeping with people as a single person sounds a lot more fun than it actually ends up being. The juice isn’t worth the squeeze, as they say.

You have to be a very special person to enjoy monogamy. Sleeping with single people is very very fun if you're single.

Can someone please explain it to me how it’s very very fun? Dating scene sex is very limited in terms of not having oral on multiple partners, changing partners before I can even get into his rhythm, using protection and scare of infections. It takes couple months for me just to adjust my pelvic floor to a new partner, learn to trust them allow certain things etc.

Are you a man who just like PIV in condom with many different women ? Because to me as a woman it’s not nearly as fun as marital unprotected sex of greater variety

I’m a woman and I think it’s fun! I’m attractive and find it easy to match. I don’t fall into partners randomly - I’m dating for sex and fun as I won’t marry again. I also don’t take months to “warm up” or “adjust” to a partner!?!?

I think you need to relax a little.

You are a divorcee. No one need to take advice on marriage from you. Your failure? That’s another cautionary tale!!