Anonymous
Post 02/18/2023 16:47     Subject: Re:Child in the hospital: need ideas
Thank you all for you words. This is OP.

We talked to the other family to ensure they would be ok with it. We are here awhile and want to be good roommates. The mom said to let us know and she’d see if her husband would stay that night too.

Some asked if I worked - I do but I’m taking FMLA right now. DH is still working in a hybrid situation. 3 days in office/2 at home.

I think DH and I are both exhausted. I won’t defend my DH here bc it appears unanimous he’s an unhelpful sloth.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2023 16:31     Subject: Re:Child in the hospital: need ideas
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would ask my mom or a friend to stay.

I’m a friend whose H was recently paralyzed and I go to the hospital weekly to give her a break. I would be mad if you didn’t ask me for help.


You're a good friend, and I would do the same in your situation. BUT this isn't the same situation because the Dad should be expected to stay overnight before a friend covers for mom. Likely the child would want Dad to stay rather than a family friend. This whole gender thing is ridiculous and a non issue. It would sound like an excuse to me.


No. During times of crisis, there’s no even Stephen this is what’s wrong with our society these days.

Somebody should be at home, helping the husband and somebody should be at the hospital helping my mom.



Why does “mom” have to be at the hospital?
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2023 15:33     Subject: Re:Child in the hospital: need ideas
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would ask my mom or a friend to stay.

I’m a friend whose H was recently paralyzed and I go to the hospital weekly to give her a break. I would be mad if you didn’t ask me for help.


You're a good friend, and I would do the same in your situation. BUT this isn't the same situation because the Dad should be expected to stay overnight before a friend covers for mom. Likely the child would want Dad to stay rather than a family friend. This whole gender thing is ridiculous and a non issue. It would sound like an excuse to me.


No. During times of crisis, there’s no even Stephen this is what’s wrong with our society these days.

Somebody should be at home, helping the husband and somebody should be at the hospital helping my mom.

Anonymous
Post 02/18/2023 14:21     Subject: Child in the hospital: need ideas
My DH would probably pull this because he prioritizes sleep over everything.

And I would call him on this BS and make him take his fair share.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2023 14:16     Subject: Re:Child in the hospital: need ideas
Anonymous wrote:I would ask my mom or a friend to stay.

I’m a friend whose H was recently paralyzed and I go to the hospital weekly to give her a break. I would be mad if you didn’t ask me for help.


You're a good friend, and I would do the same in your situation. BUT this isn't the same situation because the Dad should be expected to stay overnight before a friend covers for mom. Likely the child would want Dad to stay rather than a family friend. This whole gender thing is ridiculous and a non issue. It would sound like an excuse to me.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2023 11:47     Subject: Re:Child in the hospital: need ideas
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.


No we understood why he said he was uncomfortable and didn't think it was the care of his son.

I don't think he should shower there. He's just there for the night. And I'd encourage him to take #2 down the hall in the visitor's restroom too.


+1 OP I am sorry for your stressful situation but your DH is being absurd. If I were the other mom whose child is also going thru a very difficult thing (clearly if her DD is in the hospital for a long stay as well) the last thing I could imagine caring about was some other DH who is there to focus on his own kid.

What if it was a single dad, or the mother was having a situation that prevented her from being the primary caregiver?

The gender aspect here is a real non-issue and seems like an excuse to everyone reading it.


x1000 This is ridiculous OP your DH gets to sleep in his own bed every night giving bs excuses and you are enabling.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2023 10:40     Subject: Child in the hospital: need ideas
Sounds good
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2023 00:12     Subject: Child in the hospital: need ideas
He shouldn’t need to shower there and he should use the toilet down the hall. Sleeping is nbd.
Anonymous
Post 02/17/2023 20:16     Subject: Child in the hospital: need ideas
It sounds like DH is doing alot. If you’re asking him to take a night I hope you’re also taking over some stuff that he’s been doing. I’m not implying he’s doing more, just pointing out to take care of each other. It sounds very stressful.

I don’t think his request is off although it seems like you could just ask the other parent if it’s an issue and go from there. Or shower at home. I imagine you are both exhausted. I would nap during the day, or ask another family member or friend if they can take a night. I hope your child heals quickly, wishing you well.