Anonymous wrote:I think there are legitimate mental health reasons that would support such a note on behalf of a 14 year old girl. (Or boy, if he was asking.) I think it's fine.

+1. I don’t think my kids would have a problem with this, but if they did, I’d say no. It’s idiotic that it’s required anyway. And before the hysterical OMG eVEryOnE nEeDs tO LeArN tO sWiM, iT’s A sAfEtY IsSuE DCUM moms come screeching in, it’s a parent’s job to teach their kid to swim, not a public school.

No need for an excuse note, just tell them outright that she won't be taking the swim test.

Yeah it’s annoying to have to deal with wet hair, but it’s just bad parenting to let a kid get out of something so that they don’t have to deal with something as stupid as wet hair.

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Anonymous wrote:What school district does this in middle school? APS does it in 4th and 5th grade.

LCPS doesn't do it at all, and neither did Chesterfield County near Richmond where I grew up. Is this an equity thing? Because all of the middle class and upper middle class kids we know can swim by early elementary.

My kids are in a public school district in the Hampton Roads area and they do a swim unit in 3rd or 4th grade, I can’t remember which. I don’t under the point of doing it in middle school. I can’t think of many things I’d allow my daughter to opt out of in school, but this I wouldn’t hesitate to get a note. Eighth grade is cruel enough. No need to make the girls get in a bathing suit, possibly worry about a tampon, if they already know how to swim.

+1

Makes no sense to have such a class at school at this age IMO. And diving? Whole thing seems bizarre. My DD is also 14 and doesn’t care about being in a swimsuit or anything, but would be beyond annoyed to have wet hair etc the rest of the day. I wouldn’t like it either- go back to the office after quickly changing with sopping wet hair? Super annoying. Going to the pool with friends is totally different. Then again, I don’t care about “well I had to suffer through it back in the day” blah blah arguments about things either. Many things change over time- for the better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What school district does this in middle school? APS does it in 4th and 5th grade.

LCPS doesn't do it at all, and neither did Chesterfield County near Richmond where I grew up. Is this an equity thing? Because all of the middle class and upper middle class kids we know can swim by early elementary.

My kids are in a public school district in the Hampton Roads area and they do a swim unit in 3rd or 4th grade, I can’t remember which. I don’t under the point of doing it in middle school. I can’t think of many things I’d allow my daughter to opt out of in school, but this I wouldn’t hesitate to get a note. Eighth grade is cruel enough. No need to make the girls get in a bathing suit, possibly worry about a tampon, if they already know how to swim.

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Anonymous wrote:There are tons of kids her age at our neighborhood pool, so I find this strange.

Exactly! My son is 14 and all the kids we know swim together at our neighborhood swim club. It’s really not normal for a 14 year old girl to be this embarrassed of herself.

This is so different than swimming at school and going to all classes after. There are factors like being late to class and all wet.

This is ridiculous. My kid is at a prep school, they have the swim unit, they also have sports team requirements and many of the teams practice before school. After these practices, the kids shower in a locker room (gasp) and go off to class. No one is late, everyone has damp hair, and I promise, they are all doing just fine.

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Anonymous wrote:I love public school.

Female students can't wear tank tops because it makes the boys too hot and bothered but they can parade around in swimsuits in front of their male peers.

What a fking joke.

I would simply tell the PE teacher to flunk her for that unit and tell them she's sitting out. Screw that nonsense.

OP again. PE is single gender at her school. But, yes, they can’t wear tank tops or short shorts.

You and your daughter are ridiculous. She can swim at the public pool, but, she can’t swim in an all girl swim class at school?

Maybe it has more to do with changing out of the wet suit back into dry clothes? That would be embarrassing for a 14 year old in a locker room full of girls. Full on naked.

She can go into a bathroom. She can wrap a towel around herself.

And honestly, she’d be better off getting over herself, it’ll make life much easier.

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Anonymous wrote:There are tons of kids her age at our neighborhood pool, so I find this strange.

Exactly! My son is 14 and all the kids we know swim together at our neighborhood swim club. It’s really not normal for a 14 year old girl to be this embarrassed of herself.

This is so different than swimming at school and going to all classes after. There are factors like being late to class and all wet.

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Anonymous wrote:OP, I’ve never heard of how having really curly hair is something that would stop someone from swimming. I have curly hair myself. Are you African American by chance?

OP here. I’m not, but her dad does have textured hair and she inherited a really fine, super curly, easy to frizz texture.

It’s funny people hooked onto the acne as an issue. I don’t think it’s the biggest factor. (I’m not going to quiz her about her exact body insecurities) I think the hair is number one and her (perfectly normal) figure is the second. She has really baggy style of dressing and does not like tight clothing in general.

I’m still confused what the basis of the doctor’s note was. You said you weren’t going to lie, so did you just say your daughter doesn’t want to swim at PE and would they write a note excusing her? Do doctors really do this if there’s no medical basis for something?

OP here. Pretty much. I said she was extremely uncomfortable being in a swimsuit in front of classmates. I said I personally felt it was appropriate at her age to choose this level of modesty, and, if they agreed, Id appreciate a nonspecific excuse note. The doctor agreed.

I was very heavy in middle school. I would have rolled my eyes that your perfect bodied girl felt uncomfortable in her well fitted modest suit.

Again...what is the lesson here? She SHOULD be ashamed of her body?

Exactly. My guess is 99% of the girls have body insecurities. This is a situation of just dealing with it.

Ok then they can opt out too.

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Anonymous wrote:Im surprised by these answers! OP I would have done what you did. It’s not like she’s asking for excuses to get out of things all the time and not is swimming in front of a group of your colleagues and classmates a necessary life skill.

How do you know the kid isn’t asking for things all the time? The fact that you said that makes me think this is OP sock puppeting.

OP here. I was in fact not sock puppeting LOL. Why would you even accuse me of that? And my child doesn't usually ask for things. The fact that she asked for this made me realize how important it was.

Anonymous wrote:Get her women’s swim shorts and a rash guard if she is uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

I had to swim in PE in the late 80s. I was overweight and had the big 80s Aquanet hair. Swimming in school was pure hell for teen girls back then. But we did it because no parent would get us a doctors note.

I went in with a big tee over my suit and had my hair in a scrunchie. I didn’t get it wet for any reason. Swimming in PE wasn’t real swimming with hour head going under. I doubt it is now either.

OP here. Actually it's diving unit so hair will get wet. I have the decency to get my child a doctors note. Wearing a big tee and a scrunch would look even more ridiculous than just a swim suit.

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Anonymous wrote:Im surprised by these answers! OP I would have done what you did. It’s not like she’s asking for excuses to get out of things all the time and not is swimming in front of a group of your colleagues and classmates a necessary life skill.

No, but grit and resilience sure are.

What do grit and resilience do with not getting into a pool? At my Child's school if kids wanted to opt out of the swim unit they would run laps or do cardio which takes plenty of grit and resilience. This is ridiculous and I'm doubting whether you should be a parent yourself if you are.

Anonymous wrote:You can’t be serious.

why not

If she knows how to swim- get a note to get her out of it. What school requires MS swim??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love public school.

Female students can't wear tank tops because it makes the boys too hot and bothered but they can parade around in swimsuits in front of their male peers.

What a fking joke.

I would simply tell the PE teacher to flunk her for that unit and tell them she's sitting out. Screw that nonsense.

OP again. PE is single gender at her school. But, yes, they can’t wear tank tops or short shorts.

You and your daughter are ridiculous. She can swim at the public pool, but, she can’t swim in an all girl swim class at school?

Maybe it has more to do with changing out of the wet suit back into dry clothes? That would be embarrassing for a 14 year old in a locker room full of girls. Full on naked.