Anonymous wrote:OP here-

Thank you all for your help. I’m too embarrassed to talk to people in person. And you all didn’t roast me! You’ve been so encouraging and helpful.

I’m getting therapy and I’ll fess up to the therapist about how bad this issue is.

We’re in our 50’s and having no savings at this age is horrible and I’m ashamed of that. All kids have moved out and on their own so it’s just two of us. We shouldn’t be spending more than we did with all the kids at home.

I have control of the finances but I have a hard time not spending money or telling my husband he needs to stop. Last night I let my husband know how much debt we have and how much we’re spending. He says he’s on board. Now I need to follow through.

I’m not sure about what to pay first- my job is very secure and my 401K has a really low interest rate, so that should probably be left until later. I think either the credit cards or taxes needs to be paid off first. And I’m upside down on both vehicles so they need some of the principal paid off. That’s what happens if you pay more than the minimum, right? Our interest rates are high- 30-36%. We have some with really low amounts but the fees are high. If I pay those off and close the accounts, does that affect my credit rating?

Thanks again!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to get a grip! We have no excuses anymore. We make enough money and still life paycheck to paycheck. We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills like rent, utilizes, car payments, minimum on credit cards… To stay on the budget I put together that would pay $500 a month over the minimum on the credit cards, and $500 a month in savings, we would need to only spend $800 a week on the costs we have more control over. Is that even feasible? There are only two of us.

OP we need to know more. What are your bills exactly where is the money going each month? Are you eating out a lot? Drink a lot? "We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills" WHERE is that $1500 going each week? This isn't clear at all.

Here's a good idea of where our money goes each week.

250.00 Groceries
60.00 Gas
35.00 Subscriptions
200.00 Eating out
200.00 Clothes, jewelry
100.00 haircuts, skin care, etc
60.00 Dog walker
70.00 House cleaner (I have a bad back and cleaning is really hard for me- every two weeks at 140 each time)
150.00 Amazon- things for house, misc.
200.00 Medical- copays, prescriptions, supplements
100.00 Cigars- husband
25.00 Dog food
50.00 Dog- vet, meds, etc
1,500.00

So I see that we can spend less on just about everything if we grocery shop more carefully, eat at home, stop shopping for clothes and other things we really don't need.

$450 per week on food is excessive that is some people's budget for the entire month.
Stop eating out.

$250 per week on food is plenty.

$200 every week on clothes? No. Once a month.

$150 every week on Amazon? No.

$200 every week on medicals??? Um, every week? I guess.

Anonymous wrote:I’m just impressed that your husband smokes $100 worth of cigars in a week. I imagine it’s like a few really expensive cigars a week than like a dozen cheaper cigars? I also imagine your bourbon costs are pretty high as well.

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm sorry, maybe the tone of my post came off badly, I apologize to you. Genuinely. It was not of judgement but more confusion. I'm also sorry you felt judged by me. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I was trying to help but maybe I didn't, it was not my intention.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The credit cards have the 30-30% interest rate. The 401K loans and car loans are 5%.

Sell a car and replace it with a reliable beater. Maybe both. There is no place in your new financial life for paying on two car loans on cars that are in danger of going upside-down.

This is bad advice. Keep the cars. No more restaurants and budget your groceries. Can you do without the dog walker or cut back? The exercise will be good for you even with a bad back. If you don't exercise and stay mobile over 50, you will end up with even worse medical issues!

We dug ourselves out of 100k of debt after daycare with twins. It is you and your spouse. Also don't totally take divorce off the table. Take care of your credit cards and increae your 401k as much as ypu can. Also if you have a joint account create and allotment to go to a seperate account where you can pay everything you need to. I am happy your DH is talking to you about money but if he wants to ruin his finances, he can manage that fine without you. Sorry to be harsh about that but it sounds like you have been trying to manage a bad marriage for awhile (401k loan) and it is okay to get a divorce. You need to be happy!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The credit cards have the 30-30% interest rate. The 401K loans and car loans are 5%.

Sell a car and replace it with a reliable beater. Maybe both. There is no place in your new financial life for paying on two car loans on cars that are in danger of going upside-down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to get a grip! We have no excuses anymore. We make enough money and still life paycheck to paycheck. We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills like rent, utilizes, car payments, minimum on credit cards… To stay on the budget I put together that would pay $500 a month over the minimum on the credit cards, and $500 a month in savings, we would need to only spend $800 a week on the costs we have more control over. Is that even feasible? There are only two of us.

OP we need to know more. What are your bills exactly where is the money going each month? Are you eating out a lot? Drink a lot? "We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills" WHERE is that $1500 going each week? This isn't clear at all.

Here's a good idea of where our money goes each week.

250.00 Groceries
60.00 Gas
35.00 Subscriptions
200.00 Eating out
200.00 Clothes, jewelry
100.00 haircuts, skin care, etc
60.00 Dog walker
70.00 House cleaner (I have a bad back and cleaning is really hard for me- every two weeks at 140 each time)
150.00 Amazon- things for house, misc.
200.00 Medical- copays, prescriptions, supplements
100.00 Cigars- husband
25.00 Dog food
50.00 Dog- vet, meds, etc
1,500.00

So I see that we can spend less on just about everything if we grocery shop more carefully, eat at home, stop shopping for clothes and other things we really don't need.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to get a grip! We have no excuses anymore. We make enough money and still life paycheck to paycheck. We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills like rent, utilizes, car payments, minimum on credit cards… To stay on the budget I put together that would pay $500 a month over the minimum on the credit cards, and $500 a month in savings, we would need to only spend $800 a week on the costs we have more control over. Is that even feasible? There are only two of us.

OP we need to know more. What are your bills exactly where is the money going each month? Are you eating out a lot? Drink a lot? "We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills" WHERE is that $1500 going each week? This isn't clear at all.

Here's a good idea of where our money goes each week.

250.00 Groceries
60.00 Gas
35.00 Subscriptions
200.00 Eating out
200.00 Clothes, jewelry
100.00 haircuts, skin care, etc
60.00 Dog walker
70.00 House cleaner (I have a bad back and cleaning is really hard for me- every two weeks at 140 each time)
150.00 Amazon- things for house, misc.
200.00 Medical- copays, prescriptions, supplements
100.00 Cigars- husband
25.00 Dog food
50.00 Dog- vet, meds, etc
1,500.00

So I see that we can spend less on just about everything if we grocery shop more carefully, eat at home, stop shopping for clothes and other things we really don't need.

Anonymous wrote:The credit cards have the 30-30% interest rate. The 401K loans and car loans are 5%.

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I'm probably overly sensitive to all of this. It's hard to face that you've made such a mess of things.

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate all the help from most of you.


This is going a little downhill and I just can't cope with the judgment. We've screwed up, spend too much, it's crazy, etc. I know that and need to change. No need to call me a hoarder or act like I'm stupid. We all have our issues, I'm sure you have yours it just might not be money.