Anonymous wrote:I disagree with all the dating advice. I would say date casually but travel travel travel! And get any grad degree now!

Most of the dating advice *is* to date more casually and not to devote yourself to a boyfriend or make a lot of compromises for a man who isn’t your husband.

I disagree with all the dating advice. I would say date casually but travel travel travel! And get any grad degree now!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are both 24, been together for 2 years, both working, one going to grad school next year. Should you insist on engagement before moving with him to new town or wait until he finishes school?

Don't move for anyone without marriage.

Agreed. You can date long distance. You can break up, dare other people, and get back together later. You can also get married at 25 if you are both ready. Getting married doesn’t mean that you have to start having babies right away.

I guess it depends on where. I moved for a guy and it was a good experience. Some would call it fly over but I enjoyed it. When we broke up a few years later, I moved. Life can be an adventure, and living in many cities has been exciting. The fun part was when he heard I was moving to DC and got jealous 😆

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't move in with a man unless you are engaged or know that engagement is in the near future. It's much harder to leave once you're living together.

This x 1000000

Yes, this! I lived with a boyfriend towards the end of college and the moving out was sooooooo painful. You're sort of married when you live together. I didn't get out of bed for like a week when we were breaking up. That was such a dark time for me. I married a different guy two years later, and we never lived together. I always wanted to marry young... Not sure why just knew that it was best for me, and I thought I would have more choices. My mom passed away in college, and that impacted things for sure. I've been married for 12 years now. Dh was beginning a phd when we married. My friends who aren't married are not the party type/dating around type. They are picker than me and have a type in mind. I do have a type, but it was more flexible... Some of my friends are particular about his exact career and looks... It's too much. My husband was an international student about five years older than me.

Anonymous wrote:The second bit I'm sure I'll get destroyed for but here it is. Be very very clear-eyed about what you bring to the table. I see so many women get loused up by holding out for the unavailable or clinging to men who never saw them as wife material. Everyone has a package that places them somewhere on the scale in the marriage market. Your age, looks, education, family, money - it's all part of the package. Yes you have one. No it's not top of the market just because you're a special person. Everyone is special. People mostly marry their equals.

Here is how to find your equals: look at men who find you attractive. Not the men YOU find attractive without reciprocation. The men who find you attractive, ask you out and want to be seen with you? This is your market.

This. A lot of women waste their 20s trying to manifest a relationship with rich guys who don’t want them.

Anonymous wrote:The most common mistake I saw my 20-something peers make was wasting too much time in dead-end relationships. Early to late twenties are a woman's prime dating years and there's no reason to date the same guy for years on end without getting engaged and married within 2 years, MAX.

+1 I wasted three years with someone who was never going to settle down.

Anonymous wrote:Don't get married in your 20s? That wastes a lot of time when you then divorce...

If you’re college educated and 25+ your odds are pretty good.

Anonymous wrote:Find the right guy in college or grad school/right after college. Don’t waste time with the casual sex guys. There are guys in their early and mid 20s looking for commitment - really. You should aim to be married by 27. You don’t have to have kids right away - if you get married in your 20s, you can easily wait a few years and not really feel the pressure.

I agree with this.

Find the right guy in college or grad school/right after college. Don’t waste time with the casual sex guys. There are guys in their early and mid 20s looking for commitment - really. You should aim to be married by 27. You don’t have to have kids right away - if you get married in your 20s, you can easily wait a few years and not really feel the pressure.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t marry or have kids if you’re a woman. It’s a raw deal and women are waking up to it.

I love my kids, but yeah, this is correct re marriage. I'd rather be a single mom sometimes! Dating was fun, marriage is not.

Don't get married in your 20s? That wastes a lot of time when you then divorce...

Anonymous wrote:Thinking they have all the time in the world to work on the personal life piece: home and family. No, you don't. Time moves very, very quickly. Society loves to lie to you every day.

7 years ago I was in high school. Crap.

Anonymous wrote:Thinking they have all the time in the world to work on the personal life piece: home and family. No, you don't. Time moves very, very quickly. Society loves to lie to you every day.

Listening to this type of advice

Thinking they have all the time in the world to work on the personal life piece: home and family. No, you don't. Time moves very, very quickly. Society loves to lie to you every day.

Worrying about wasting your 20s.

Believing your life ends at 29