Anonymous wrote:I resent my parents for not moving. They left us with a house packed to the rafters. I spend my limited free time cleaning their junk, and I can’t toss it without looking through it, because you never know where an important document or family photo from 1897 will pop up.

You resent your parents for not clearing and editing their stuff over the years, not about moving. Where were they supposed to move at 60 that would have changed the way they already keep stuff. Downsizing would have helped that only to a degree, but you would still have stuff to shift from whatever their last house was.

I'm in a house, but my stuff is constantly moved out. There will still be stuff, though, if I move to , well, anywhere.

I resent my parents for not moving. They left us with a house packed to the rafters. I spend my limited free time cleaning their junk, and I can’t toss it without looking through it, because you never know where an important document or family photo from 1897 will pop up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The one you've been in, whether it is a TH or SFH, and have no plans to move right now, what are your reasons?

We are always asked "why not move to a one level or over 55 development?"

We live in a regular suburban area, all ages, kids, but also plenty of people over 65 way into late 70s. Original owners, but we aren't. We've been here about 20 years.
We are not infirmed, we have several pets, retired, happy here. There's no reason to go, not now at least. I'm not saying never, but why is it assumed? There are pressing reasons we would definitely move, but it's not imminent. I think our next move will be in our 80s- continual care. That's about 18 years at least.

You're fake. You're actually trying to imply people should move. Go away troll.

What? Are you actually able to read and comprehend(?)- because you apparently did not understand this at all. The entire post is about not feeling the need to move.
Lol. Are YOU the troll?

Anonymous wrote:Wow, my parents are in their mid-60s and I can't imagine them moving into a retirement community. My dad's passion is gardening, he was so excited to retire to do more of it, and he has massive vegetable garden a nice flower and herb garden, and built another big vegetable garden next to his church that they plant and harvest to donate to the food bank. Their house is cleaner and in better shape than mine.

They don't have the physical stamina of their 40s but they're not exactly in the their twilight years yet; their elders have either dropped dead around 80 or are/were still going into their 90s.

60s is not old. Anyone suggesting that is ridiculous. Spouse and I have parents in their 90s who live in the homes they raised their children in.

Anonymous wrote:The one you've been in, whether it is a TH or SFH, and have no plans to move right now, what are your reasons?

We are always asked "why not move to a one level or over 55 development?"

We live in a regular suburban area, all ages, kids, but also plenty of people over 65 way into late 70s. Original owners, but we aren't. We've been here about 20 years.
We are not infirmed, we have several pets, retired, happy here. There's no reason to go, not now at least. I'm not saying never, but why is it assumed? There are pressing reasons we would definitely move, but it's not imminent. I think our next move will be in our 80s- continual care. That's about 18 years at least.

You're fake. You're actually trying to imply people should move. Go away troll.

Anonymous wrote:I have more than a few relatives in the generations above mine who lived in the homes they always had until they died. Many were in their 90s, one 98 and one 99.

Why should they have moved? They liked their homes and were happy in them.

+1. Parents in 90s live in their home they've been in forever.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think we ever feel our age. I don’t like to be around too many elderly either—having a mix imo is more normal, and youth energy is good, provided they are well behaved.

One shouldn’t feel they have to move a place they love just because they’re getting older. But it’s good to plan for the future and have plans in place for a quick exit. I had tried to get my parents to do this — to add elderly people features —but they were stubborn. Now one has to block the stairs to prevent the other with dementia from climbing it. She had fallen down them. Just one example of some of the disasters. I am sure now they wish they had listened to me.

PP, sorry that your parents were not as attentive to your insights as they could have been. I tell DH fairly frequently that I want to minimize this kind of friction with my kids and try to make this phase as easy as possible for all

And yes on the age mix. I no longer work in an office, but damn do I miss having regular contact with the 25-45 set. People say that millenials just want to be given trophies, but nearly every millenial I worked with was a hard-working, good team player and helped make the office life fun.

I don’t think we ever feel our age. I don’t like to be around too many elderly either—having a mix imo is more normal, and youth energy is good, provided they are well behaved.

One shouldn’t feel they have to move a place they love just because they’re getting older. But it’s good to plan for the future and have plans in place for a quick exit. I had tried to get my parents to do this — to add elderly people features —but they were stubborn. Now one has to block the stairs to prevent the other with dementia from climbing it. She had fallen down them. Just one example of some of the disasters. I am sure now they wish they had listened to me.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people can't handle the stairs past a certain age. Both my mom and MIL (in their 80s) have a problem with stairs. My mom moved to a ranch when she was in her 60s. They knew stairs was going to be an issue eventually so why wait.

My MIL, oth, was adamant that she could handle the stairs and refused to move when she was in her 60s. FFW to 80, and she was having issues, but she still did nothing to move. We've all been telling her to move for the past 10 years. She finally made the move, but it was more painful than it had to be. She couldn't do anything herself so she had to rely on movers (which she paid for ) and her children, who had to take time off to help her.

Don't be selfish, OP. Don't wait till it's too late to be able to make the move on your own. My parents were able to do everything on their own because they were healthy enough at 60 something.

OP is not being selfish.

I am not moving either. If I ever have to move I will hire movers.

You did not have to help that was a choice you made.

55 and over communities I am not a fan. By 10 years old those communities become places of death on every street. No thanks. Plus their HOA"S again no thanks.

It's close to the airport, and I really don't like being around other old people

My parents couldn't get a rambler within 15 minutes of their grandkids. They searched and searched. There are a few in older parts of Falls Church and Arlington.

Instead they just got a normal house with one long staircase. If needed they'll get a stairlift. Moving is $$$, putting in a stairlift is a drop in the bucket.

Ideally more houses with master bedrooms downstairs would become more popular. That's what both sets of my grandparents did. It allowed them space for guests, normal sized living spaces and when they got too elderly they just never went upstairs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The stairs keep me healthy/strong. And we’ve lived here 25 years, love our neighborhood and neighbors. Why move unless we have to? Plus, for the amount of our mortgage payment, we’d get half the space in today’s market, whether a rental or new purchase.

That's exactly what my ILs said until they couldn't handle it. Then they were forced to move. At some point, you won't be able to handle it. I think the consensus is to move before you hit that stage when it's harder to move.

I'm not saying you should move when you are 60. But, I think before 72 is a good time.

I have plenty of relatives who lived or have lived in multiple story houses until they died in their 80s or 90s. If the stairs become an issue I’ll move. If they don’t then I won’t.

Anonymous wrote:I responded earlier but the choices aren't just 1) stay in house with a lot of stairs or 2) move to 55+ community

You can move to a one-level house (or at least a house with a bedroom and full bath on the first floor). Or move to a one-level condo in a walkable neighborhood.

We've been trying to get my 80-year-old parents to consider that option - but they just can't find anything they like more than they like staying put. My mother has Parkinson's and osteoporosis and is living in a house where her bedroom is on the second floor and she can't walk to anything - but the only condo she likes is $1 million (the others don't have enough living space, she says) and she doesn't want to spend that much. Every one-level house has this wrong with it or that wrong with it. Inertia and status quo bias is a heckuva thing.

Won't seriously consider building or converting a bedroom on the first floor, either. Just, convinced that everything is fine, it's all fine.

Anyway, just to say that yes of course these are options - and someone who isn't committed to moving or isn't being forced to move may find a way not to enjoy any of these options.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are in our early 60s, and we still have the 5-bedroom suburban home where we raised our 4 kids. We have a master bedroom & bath on the main floor, all wheelchair accessible. The only rooms upstairs are guest rooms which we keep for visiting kids and grandkids-to-be.

My mom, who's in her mid-80s, still lives in my childhood home about 1 mile away. She has a mechanical seat for the stairway, since her bedroom is upstairs, but she could easily stay in a downstairs bedroom if she chose to do so. She spends her days cooking elaborate meals, puttering around in her garden, and spending time with family.

We have plans to move my mom in with us if/when the time comes, so that's another reason to keep our large SFH.

Great that you have that bedroom!

Anonymous wrote:Re: CCR communities, it's not about needing the motivation, it's the money those places cost. Those places are expensive and extremely expensive in the DMV. Fine it you have so much money that you don't need to care if you're there 10 years vs 20 years, vs 25 years. It's a lot of money. Again, fine if the extra money, of 10-15 more years of living there, isn't going to worry you. That's not a worry I want at 65 or 70.

I guess I'll address this on 2 levels.
First of all, CCRC communities, or independent livings, are 100% absolutely not appropriate for anyone in their 60s, and still probably not in their 70s. I am sure there are exceptions, for various esoteric reasons, but let's not pool everyone who has retired in one age group. Very different lifestyles, interests, motivations between 60s and 70s and 80s. It's generational.

Cost- sure, there is a large " buy in" and high monthly rental costs. But, if you've been through, with an elderly relative, what that cost looks like without a CCRC situation, it's so mych mire affordable. Needing 24 hour care, assisted living, or anything close to it will wipe our everything and a Medicaid facility is basically no care. We are in our 60s, and of course we aren't looking into a CCRC now at all, in fact, we are not looking at anything to do differently than what we are doing now, but in our 80, yep! CCRC is the plan. Here's the catch..we both have to be healthy to go. So, it's a bit of a crap shoot as to when to go.