Anonymous wrote:Patrick Clancy, the husband, posted a beautiful tribute to the go fund me. He’s forgiven his wife and prays she finds peace.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/patrick-clancy-donations?utm_campaign=m_pd+share-sheet&utm_content=undefined&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer&utm_term=undefined&mibextid=Zxz2cZ

Wow. That was beautiful. I’ll pray for him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is sympathetic to either of them. Maybe they are paying lip service to sound enlightening, but only a monster can murder their own child.

I have no idea who this Clancy person is, but Andrea Yates gets a lot of sympathy. Tons.

Really? I don't remember that being the case. I remember hearing that she was told not to not have more kids due to previous post partum depression. yet she still chose to have another child and it out her over the edge. I think she was judge pretty harshly for this.

It takes a man and women to make a baby. Her husband was fully aware of her condition yet decided he couldn't wear a condom or pull out to stop having more kids? Was she allowed to have an abortion if she wanted one? Why didnt he drive her to a clinic then? Why is the man always blameless?

Patriarchal fundamentalist religion.

I blame the man. I absolutely blame the man.

We have no idea what it was like within their marriage, but I'll be damned if I'm going to feel any sympathy for that man. Takeout or not. Can he not cook a meal at home? My STBX couldn't even figure out how to make me a pot of tea when I was recovering from childbirth.

Raise better men.

F that. He was working from home to help with the kids. He was supporting the family financially while his wife was on medical leave from her job and he was making sure that she wasn’t caring for the kids by herself. He was taking care of dinner, not leaving it up to his wife. We have no idea how many meals he’d prepared himself. He left for less than a half hour. His wife was in treatment. Obviously, if he thought anything like this might happen, he wouldn’t have left her alone with the kids.

Let’s not pretend like his life wasn’t turned upside down by his wife’s medical condition. I’m sure he was exhausted, worried, stressed out, stretched thin, felt like he was responsible for holding it all together. He’ll regret leaving that night for the rest of his life. Unless some damaging information comes out about him, I feel nothing but sympathy for him.

Patrick Clancy, the husband, posted a beautiful tribute to the go fund me. He’s forgiven his wife and prays she finds peace.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/patrick-clancy-donations?utm_campaign=m_pd+share-sheet&utm_content=undefined&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer&utm_term=undefined&mibextid=Zxz2cZ

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People understand quite a bit more now about PPD nowadays.

+1 this

This, for sure.

And also ... People see themselves in Clancy in a way they didn't relate to Yates. The religion thing, the controlling husband, the number of kids, their lifestyle overall .... It was easy to "other-ise" Yates. "I'm not like her, so I can blame her because I'll never be in her shoes" (which nobody ever said or loud, but was there). Classic blame the victim response. People look at Clancy (or at least the image of her life that she projected) and see someone aspirational. Someone they not only can be like, but someone they would normally WANT to be like. That makes them look for other reasons for the actions, to absolve her of blame ... Because deep down, we all know that we could be Clancy in a way that we would never see ourselves as Yates.

No I don’t think all of us feel that way.

NP here. I wouldn’t say I find Clancy aspirational, but after looking through some of her Facebook photos I’m struck by our lives’ similar trajectory including having my third baby who is 8 months old. From her wedding photos it looks like we married our DHs around the same time, and her photos are all loving pics with the kids with captions about how much she loves them. I’m also a working mom although not in nursing. I see someone like her and just wonder how in the world it got to that point. Presumably before marrying and having children, her husband had no clue she would flip and annihilate the family.

Obviously more could come out and she may just be an evil person. But her life just seemed so normal on the surface at least. It makes you wonder how someone can become so sick.

If I blacked out and killed my kids, I would certainly want to kilo myself when coming too. And it’s not like she’ll ever be allowed to help deliver babies again. Even if her husband forgives her b/c of illness, how could their marriage last? It is just so shocking to see someone lose their entire life in a matter of minutes to something so unexplainable and unexpected.

You don't seemt to understand that she will be institutionalized or incarcerated for the vast majority of, if not the rest of, her life. Her employment and marital status will be completely irrelevant.

I don't stand the compulsion of some women to have so many babies so quickly. Kids are a lot of work and clearly the third one put her over the edge.

I don't have many thoughts about either of them. We ha e horrendous care for anyone that is disabled whether physically or mentally. Of course this situation is going to happen. You can't force an adult to get help. (5 days a week sounds like there was plenty if evidence she was very sick). You also can't help a Dad wake up and realize the danger. Move your kids out of the house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People understand quite a bit more now about PPD nowadays.

+1 this

This, for sure.

And also ... People see themselves in Clancy in a way they didn't relate to Yates. The religion thing, the controlling husband, the number of kids, their lifestyle overall .... It was easy to "other-ise" Yates. "I'm not like her, so I can blame her because I'll never be in her shoes" (which nobody ever said or loud, but was there). Classic blame the victim response. People look at Clancy (or at least the image of her life that she projected) and see someone aspirational. Someone they not only can be like, but someone they would normally WANT to be like. That makes them look for other reasons for the actions, to absolve her of blame ... Because deep down, we all know that we could be Clancy in a way that we would never see ourselves as Yates.

No I don’t think all of us feel that way.

NP here. I wouldn’t say I find Clancy aspirational, but after looking through some of her Facebook photos I’m struck by our lives’ similar trajectory including having my third baby who is 8 months old. From her wedding photos it looks like we married our DHs around the same time, and her photos are all loving pics with the kids with captions about how much she loves them. I’m also a working mom although not in nursing. I see someone like her and just wonder how in the world it got to that point. Presumably before marrying and having children, her husband had no clue she would flip and annihilate the family.

Obviously more could come out and she may just be an evil person. But her life just seemed so normal on the surface at least. It makes you wonder how someone can become so sick.

If I blacked out and killed my kids, I would certainly want to kilo myself when coming too. And it’s not like she’ll ever be allowed to help deliver babies again. Even if her husband forgives her b/c of illness, how could their marriage last? It is just so shocking to see someone lose their entire life in a matter of minutes to something so unexplainable and unexpected.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having PPA/PPD and intrusive thoughts was the scariest, most mind-bending experience of my life. It is unfortunately not hard to imagine someone with a more severe form being moved to uncontrollable extremes. I feel nothing but horrible sadness for all involved.

Same. This woman had post partum psychosis. I had PPD and I will be completely honest - I had dark dark thoughts. About killing myself and my baby. It was the scariest thing I had ever gone through and it was excruciating to have to put that into words so I could get help. I did, thankfully. I don’t want to imagine what could have happened if I didn’t or couldn’t.

You’re assuming she had psychosis based on her actions. PPD is not the same thing as PPP. The vast majority of killers do not meet the definition of insanity as the law defines it, though they may have a diagnosable mental illnesses. Yates was convicted at her first trial, then NGRI her second trial. The defense will be an uphill battle for Clancy; maybe she will take a plea deal if she doesn’t meet the criteria for legal insanity.

I'm not assuming. I thought that I read that she had it.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve heard she was admitted to inpatient treatment, she ended up signing herself out against doctors orders. She then started out patient. Sorry but she should have been forced to remain inpatient. How can you be advised or ordered too not be alone with your children but it’s ok too still live in the same house. What’s the purpose of even advising that while she lives there. I’ve heard after her 2nd she was advised too not have anymore kids because she already suffered PPD. I’m sorry but I believe she planned this and the opportunity arises when her husband left for 25 min. She clearly rushed to do it before he got back. She had A LoT of help and resources wa so it wasn’t like she had no medical hep or intervention.

You’ve “heard”? From whom? You could just have literally made it all up.

I say very sympathetically that they should be no hanged but put behind bars for the rest of their lives in solitary confinement and without a TV to watch.

I’ve heard she was admitted to inpatient treatment, she ended up signing herself out against doctors orders. She then started out patient. Sorry but she should have been forced to remain inpatient. How can you be advised or ordered too not be alone with your children but it’s ok too still live in the same house. What’s the purpose of even advising that while she lives there. I’ve heard after her 2nd she was advised too not have anymore kids because she already suffered PPD. I’m sorry but I believe she planned this and the opportunity arises when her husband left for 25 min. She clearly rushed to do it before he got back. She had A LoT of help and resources wa so it wasn’t like she had no medical hep or intervention.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is sympathetic to either of them. Maybe they are paying lip service to sound enlightening, but only a monster can murder their own child.

I have no idea who this Clancy person is, but Andrea Yates gets a lot of sympathy. Tons.

Really? I don't remember that being the case. I remember hearing that she was told not to not have more kids due to previous post partum depression. yet she still chose to have another child and it out her over the edge. I think she was judge pretty harshly for this.

It takes a man and women to make a baby. Her husband was fully aware of her condition yet decided he couldn't wear a condom or pull out to stop having more kids? Was she allowed to have an abortion if she wanted one? Why didnt he drive her to a clinic then? Why is the man always blameless?

Patriarchal fundamentalist religion.

I blame the man. I absolutely blame the man.

We have no idea what it was like within their marriage, but I'll be damned if I'm going to feel any sympathy for that man. Takeout or not. Can he not cook a meal at home? My STBX couldn't even figure out how to make me a pot of tea when I was recovering from childbirth.

Raise better men.

I think your personal feelings are getting in the way here. The wife was in a 5 day a week program. That means the doctors did not deem her a danger to herself or others. Otherwise, she would have been committed. The doctors should be blamed here! Shameful.

Maybe they wanted her inpatient and they didn’t have a bed or she refused. Maybe they told the dad not to leave her alone. We don’t know any of this for sure. But as I said, if the situation were flipped, I would not have left my husband with kids under these conditions. If I had to move a relative in to help, or go into debt to pay someone, or relocate the kids to grandparents or whatever, I would have. Guessing the dad had ostrich syndrome. Most men with 3 kids 5 and under are heavily reliant on their wives to do the heavy lifting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is sympathetic to either of them. Maybe they are paying lip service to sound enlightening, but only a monster can murder their own child.

I have no idea who this Clancy person is, but Andrea Yates gets a lot of sympathy. Tons.

Really? I don't remember that being the case. I remember hearing that she was told not to not have more kids due to previous post partum depression. yet she still chose to have another child and it out her over the edge. I think she was judge pretty harshly for this.

It takes a man and women to make a baby. Her husband was fully aware of her condition yet decided he couldn't wear a condom or pull out to stop having more kids? Was she allowed to have an abortion if she wanted one? Why didnt he drive her to a clinic then? Why is the man always blameless?

Patriarchal fundamentalist religion.

I blame the man. I absolutely blame the man.

We have no idea what it was like within their marriage, but I'll be damned if I'm going to feel any sympathy for that man. Takeout or not. Can he not cook a meal at home? My STBX couldn't even figure out how to make me a pot of tea when I was recovering from childbirth.

Raise better men.

I think your personal feelings are getting in the way here. The wife was in a 5 day a week program. That means the doctors did not deem her a danger to herself or others. Otherwise, she would have been committed. The doctors should be blamed here! Shameful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is sympathetic to either of them. Maybe they are paying lip service to sound enlightening, but only a monster can murder their own child.

I have no idea who this Clancy person is, but Andrea Yates gets a lot of sympathy. Tons.

Really? I don't remember that being the case. I remember hearing that she was told not to not have more kids due to previous post partum depression. yet she still chose to have another child and it out her over the edge. I think she was judge pretty harshly for this.

It takes a man and women to make a baby. Her husband was fully aware of her condition yet decided he couldn't wear a condom or pull out to stop having more kids? Was she allowed to have an abortion if she wanted one? Why didnt he drive her to a clinic then? Why is the man always blameless?

Patriarchal fundamentalist religion.

I blame the man. I absolutely blame the man.

We have no idea what it was like within their marriage, but I'll be damned if I'm going to feel any sympathy for that man. Takeout or not. Can he not cook a meal at home? My STBX couldn't even figure out how to make me a pot of tea when I was recovering from childbirth.

Raise better men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having PPA/PPD and intrusive thoughts was the scariest, most mind-bending experience of my life. It is unfortunately not hard to imagine someone with a more severe form being moved to uncontrollable extremes. I feel nothing but horrible sadness for all involved.

Same. This woman had post partum psychosis. I had PPD and I will be completely honest - I had dark dark thoughts. About killing myself and my baby. It was the scariest thing I had ever gone through and it was excruciating to have to put that into words so I could get help. I did, thankfully. I don’t want to imagine what could have happened if I didn’t or couldn’t.

You’re assuming she had psychosis based on her actions. PPD is not the same thing as PPP. The vast majority of killers do not meet the definition of insanity as the law defines it, though they may have a diagnosable mental illnesses. Yates was convicted at her first trial, then NGRI her second trial. The defense will be an uphill battle for Clancy; maybe she will take a plea deal if she doesn’t meet the criteria for legal insanity.

Anonymous wrote:Having PPA/PPD and intrusive thoughts was the scariest, most mind-bending experience of my life. It is unfortunately not hard to imagine someone with a more severe form being moved to uncontrollable extremes. I feel nothing but horrible sadness for all involved.

Same. This woman had post partum psychosis. I had PPD and I will be completely honest - I had dark dark thoughts. About killing myself and my baby. It was the scariest thing I had ever gone through and it was excruciating to have to put that into words so I could get help. I did, thankfully. I don’t want to imagine what could have happened if I didn’t or couldn’t.