You're baffled because you don't know the whole story and you have never experienced family trauma so you can't empathize.

I don't know what I would do in her position.

But I know that I respect the decisions anyone makes about their families. It's not my place to judge anyone else's relationships (or lack thereof) w/ their family members. I would have no idea of the dynamics of those deep, long-standing relationships so it is none of my business.

I’d go if there are other family members attending who I like and it doesn’t require a long plane ride. I’m one of those people who believes that taking the high road is often a good thing to do.

Anonymous wrote:Of course. I can’t imagine not going to a sibling’s funeral. People can be so awful.

No wrong answer.

You have no idea what her family did to her.

Mine are criminals, dumbasses, and plain old unfit to be humans. I will not be going to my brother who literally destroyed his wife and childs life or my mother that puts pedos above her kids.

Anonymous wrote:Your friend sounds like a real POS.

No you didn't live her life.

You are judgemental prob a trumper.

Anonymous wrote:I would not go.

I am estranged from my mother & brother, if I outlive them I would not go. Not in a million years.

Thank you for this.


I feel the same way. A friend just told me I am heartless. She did not live my life.

Your friend sounds like a real POS.

I would go in order to mourn what was and also what I wished there could have been. It’s complicated but still a loss for me. But this assumes I wanted to go, which I think I would. If I didn’t want to go I wouldn’t.

I also wouldn’t go if my sibling’s surviving family (like wife and kids) did not want me there. I figure their loss is bigger than mine so I would respect their wishes.

Of course. I can’t imagine not going to a sibling’s funeral. People can be so awful.

No, I would not attend. The people at the funeral may not really want the sibling to attend, either, even if they invited him.

You need to understand that some family relationships were not good and that could be for many reasons: abuse, addiction and/or mental illness are usually the reasons.

MYOB, psycho.

No she shouldn’t go unless she wants to for some reason. I could see myself not going to my sibling’s funeral one day the way things are headed. Sibling relationships can be complicated, messy, and non-existent.

Anonymous wrote:I would not go.

I am estranged from my mother & brother, if I outlive them I would not go. Not in a million years.

I felt this way about my Mother, but when she died recently I felt completely different and am mourning her and will go to funeral. She will of cut me out of will, in her strop just a couple of years ago. I definitely have lost her twice! Others have no awareness of that. Everyone is different and some extreme circumstances too, but I would say never say never as you really don’t know how you will feel until it happens.

My brother, the chosen one and the apple of my parent’s eye, sodomized me when I was 11. My parents knew and did nothing. I left home at age 18. I spoke to my mother 3 times between 1989 and her death in 2021. I did not attend her services.

Personally I think it is weird to go to the funeral if you have been estranged for that long. Seems fake.