Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 10:31     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:Do you not ask to look at his drivers license on the first date?


Op here. I personally wouldn’t have issues showing my DL to anyone . But I also know it can be fake from my work experience. Online screening is best imho
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 10:19     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would actually prefer a man who doesn't waste his time on social media.


He's early 50s. No Linkedin either? That's very unusual I myself have no Instagram and very sleepy Facebook but active Linkedin.


If he’s 50 with a stable job, he has no need for linked in. I wouldn’t find this odd at all.


Outside of government, there is no such thing as a stable job.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 10:10     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.


Women don't realize they also have a competition for male attention and we will drop out if you act like a crazy stalker at any stage of the relationship.

And I think what some people don't understand about Facebook and LinkedIn is everyone in the world has access to that information once you put it online including the Russian and Chinese governments, every pervert in Pakistan, and every scammer in Nigeria.


Is it stalking now to ask for the person real phone number , address and place of work before moving to closer relationship? That’s exactly why I offered him just meet to talk more, learn about each other. Why would I meet for dinner with someone of uncertain identity ?


So you think a social media can not be fake? Please you will not nothing.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 09:53     Subject: Date has no online presence
Maybe he gave you a nickname or shortened version of his first name. That's what I did with online dates.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 09:44     Subject: Date has no online presence
Do you not ask to look at his drivers license on the first date?
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 09:39     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.


Women don't realize they also have a competition for male attention and we will drop out if you act like a crazy stalker at any stage of the relationship.

And I think what some people don't understand about Facebook and LinkedIn is everyone in the world has access to that information once you put it online including the Russian and Chinese governments, every pervert in Pakistan, and every scammer in Nigeria.


Is it stalking now to ask for the person real phone number , address and place of work before moving to closer relationship? That’s exactly why I offered him just meet to talk more, learn about each other. Why would I meet for dinner with someone of uncertain identity ?
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 09:24     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread



Why would that matter? I do video dates sometimes, this guy said he wasn't comfortable with a video date. He was more attractive in real life than on photos. Btw I had a video date with someone else just recently who really liked me. He immediately offered his actual phone number, job place, position, connect on LinkedIn. Name matched the number and location on google, he is an involved dad. I liked that openness, and although he's not as tall/hot, he is more educated, has well established career and better mannered.

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.

This also comes from my experience in hospitality business; when you don't check an ID and someone's name doesn't match the phone number on google it ends up in 90% cases with credit card fraud.

I am not a stalker (god forbid never call men first, or text them first). But ultimate purpose of dating is to find a sexual and hopefully life partner, and I want that search to be transparent.




Well, you obviously feel that this information should be easily accessible to the public or that the man who is the subject of this thread should give it to you, and he hasn't. You have multiple men competing for your attention and giving you all of this information, including one who is more educated, better mannered, and has a well established career. Seems to me like you should just forget about this man who you find suspicious and focus on all the better, un-shady ones calling and texting you.


OP here. He offered to meet for dinner yesterday. I woke up and there was no response from him to my text suggesting to spend an afternoon together over this long weekend for drinks and learn more about each other. Seems like a player to me, not really interested in learning more beside meeting in intimate settings while using his burner number. I moved on to schedule the LinkedIn IT guy to spend my afternoon with. I do try my online dating experience to be maximum approaching meeting someone via friends or colleagues. It just gives me a sense of trust.

Thanks everyone.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 09:18     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:It would give me pause to find nothing. But I would go on a second date.
I will say Google has been helpful. I was chatting with a match once who had a race photo in their profile—looked up their race bib to see how fast they were, and once I knew their first and last name, I Googled them only to learn they had been arrested for attempted murder for running their ex-wife off the road (along with prior DV). Yes, 100% certain it was the same person.
Ever since then, I’ve looked people up!


ChatGPT is going to be the death of us when fake articles are produced, re-edited and put online.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 09:13     Subject: Date has no online presence
It would give me pause to find nothing. But I would go on a second date.
I will say Google has been helpful. I was chatting with a match once who had a race photo in their profile—looked up their race bib to see how fast they were, and once I knew their first and last name, I Googled them only to learn they had been arrested for attempted murder for running their ex-wife off the road (along with prior DV). Yes, 100% certain it was the same person.
Ever since then, I’ve looked people up!
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 08:57     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:I would actually prefer a man who doesn't waste his time on social media.


This. Social media is so narcissistic.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 08:48     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.


Women don't realize they also have a competition for male attention and we will drop out if you act like a crazy stalker at any stage of the relationship.

And I think what some people don't understand about Facebook and LinkedIn is everyone in the world has access to that information once you put it online including the Russian and Chinese governments, every pervert in Pakistan, and every scammer in Nigeria.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 08:42     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. I have been doing OLD for 10 years. I have yet to google a woman's name or phone number.

I didn't have Facebook until a few years ago, and I never use it. No LinkedIn until this past year. No Twitter, no SnapChat. None of my guy friends play around with social media, either.


This is a safety issue for women that guys don't really have to think about.


Men also have safety issues. There are plenty of crazy women loose in the DC area, and I'd rather deal with a man with a knife than a psycho woman with a law degree. Ask Johnny Depp whether a nutso woman can destroy your life.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 08:03     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I know lots of people with clearances who have no online presence.


In this area, I'd assume this. CIA, NSA, FBI, various military intel units, the diplomats, I could go one.


No clearance, but also no Facebook or LinkedIn. Google me and you get other people.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 08:00     Subject: Re:Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This would not be the reason I didn’t go on a 2nd date with someone. I work with a lot of police officers and they use fake names for social media to protect themselves and their families.


But how would I develop this relationship with someone who I don't really know? He did attempt to hug me so I presume kissing would be expected soon. Shall I raise this issue at the dinner, or counter propose something less formal ?


OMG


Seriously, am I not getting something and a nutcase myself? I am recently divorced after a long marriage, and never dated in the US. Is that normal to go to a guy's house if, lets say, we like each other but I am unsure about his identity? Literally, I would check his house address/name match the morning after?

No, you do not go to his house.


Yeah, I got locked into a guys house once. Nothing bad happened other than feeling fear for the 9 minutes it took him to unlock the door. psyco
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 07:58     Subject: Date has no online presence
Anonymous wrote:I know lots of people with clearances who have no online presence.


In this area, I'd assume this. CIA, NSA, FBI, various military intel units, the diplomats, I could go one.