Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I can’t believe you put her on the spot like that! That was a ballsy move.

The neighbor brought it up and left herself open to it

Yep. How bizzare to keep coming back over and over again to deliver a lecture to OP about being rude. I thought we all learned by 2nd grade to not mention parties to people who didn't get invited. Manners 101, really.

Yes it was rude to bring up to the neighbor, even in jest, but there was an opportunity for the neighbor to say “we had Joe’s co-workers over” or “it was our church friends” to clarify if it indeed was a private group or sorts.

Anonymous wrote:They have an annual Christmas party, we saw tons of cars outside their house this year and clearly we weren't invited. Then I ran into my neighbor on the sidewalk taking our her recycling and she mentioned how much recycling she had from the party. so I teasingly said I guess we didn't make the list this year! -- we have a joking rapport -- and she said "Oh yes we were just trying to keep it small."

Well it wasn't small and I wonder what we did to get cut from the list? I just feel weird about it and like I did something wrong?

OP, unless they had a giant bonfire against your wood fence, a few feet from your house, I wouldn't worry about it.

I have seen it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. You’re not entitled to an invitation just because you’re a neighbor. Perhaps they don’t think of you as close as friends as you consider their family.

Hey jerk, OP didn't say she / he was "entitled to an invitation." They clearly had been invited before and this year was not. It's natural to feel bummed or to wonder why.
Geez.

Hey jerk, OP said she asked her neighbor about “not making the cut”. Even if said in an apparently teasing way, that’s like the definition of being entitled to an invitation. Or at least that’s how I’d interpret it and apparently the neighbor interpreted it in much the same way.

When’s the last time you invited them to one of your parties, OP?

We host one huge party a year, which we love to do. It’s a huge expense for us, both in money and time, but we love doing it. It gets bigger in guest list and scope every year, but we’re at the point it’s needing some culling. Many of the people who are invited have *never* invited us to anything.

Anonymous wrote:You were very rude to point out that you weren’t invited.

this

Anonymous wrote:It's possible they were just inviting their close friends and not neighbors at all. It's tricky making invite lists. I've been in similar situations and it stings but best to just continue being neighborly and kind and try to shake it off the best you can.

This. Our neighborhood is if you invite one you pretty much have to invite all. And then it’s huge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have an annual Christmas party, we saw tons of cars outside their house this year and clearly we weren't invited. Then I ran into my neighbor on the sidewalk taking our her recycling and she mentioned how much recycling she had from the party. so I teasingly said I guess we didn't make the list this year! -- we have a joking rapport -- and she said "Oh yes we were just trying to keep it small."

Well it wasn't small and I wonder what we did to get cut from the list? I just feel weird about it and like I did something wrong?

Let it go. Maybe you think you have a joking rapport with her and she actually doesn’t enjoy it or finds your comments over the line. Saying “I guess we didn’t make the list this year” isn’t going to make it more likely that you will be invited next year unless it’s out of pity. I would have said, “It sounds like a great party,” and I would have meant it. We have many gatherings without inviting neighbors we like, as do they.

Neighbor was rude af to bring it up to someone who was clearly cut from the list this year. She doesn't have to invite OP, but that was a jerk move of the neighbor.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have an annual Christmas party, we saw tons of cars outside their house this year and clearly we weren't invited. Then I ran into my neighbor on the sidewalk taking our her recycling and she mentioned how much recycling she had from the party. so I teasingly said I guess we didn't make the list this year! -- we have a joking rapport -- and she said "Oh yes we were just trying to keep it small."

Well it wasn't small and I wonder what we did to get cut from the list? I just feel weird about it and like I did something wrong?

Let it go. Maybe you think you have a joking rapport with her and she actually doesn’t enjoy it or finds your comments over the line. Saying “I guess we didn’t make the list this year” isn’t going to make it more likely that you will be invited next year unless it’s out of pity. I would have said, “It sounds like a great party,” and I would have meant it. We have many gatherings without inviting neighbors we like, as do they.

Neighbor was rude af to bring it up to someone who was clearly cut from the list this year. She doesn't have to invite OP, but that was a jerk move of the neighbor.

+1. Fact of the matter is that there are a lot of rude and self-absorbed people out there. OP is fine to feel hurt, it’s hard not to react, which was OP’s mistake. I have a neighbor like this. She always wants to be invited to everything others are hosting, but never reciprocated or included my family in events, and always had excuses about why she was making a get together exclusive. . I figured it out within a year of her moving in and removed her from invites to get togethers at my house. Better to just cut someone like that out entirely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have an annual Christmas party, we saw tons of cars outside their house this year and clearly we weren't invited. Then I ran into my neighbor on the sidewalk taking our her recycling and she mentioned how much recycling she had from the party. so I teasingly said I guess we didn't make the list this year! -- we have a joking rapport -- and she said "Oh yes we were just trying to keep it small."

Well it wasn't small and I wonder what we did to get cut from the list? I just feel weird about it and like I did something wrong?

Let it go. Maybe you think you have a joking rapport with her and she actually doesn’t enjoy it or finds your comments over the line. Saying “I guess we didn’t make the list this year” isn’t going to make it more likely that you will be invited next year unless it’s out of pity. I would have said, “It sounds like a great party,” and I would have meant it. We have many gatherings without inviting neighbors we like, as do they.

Neighbor was rude af to bring it up to someone who was clearly cut from the list this year. She doesn't have to invite OP, but that was a jerk move of the neighbor.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. You’re not entitled to an invitation just because you’re a neighbor. Perhaps they don’t think of you as close as friends as you consider their family.

Hey jerk, OP didn't say she / he was "entitled to an invitation." They clearly had been invited before and this year was not. It's natural to feel bummed or to wonder why.
Geez.

OP isn't owed an invitation, but if they have been invited in the past and cut this year, then the neighbor is a real jerk to talk to the neighbor about her recycling from the party. She should have just struck up a conversation about something else. And then OP shouldn't have raised it unless she really thought they were friends.

Op are you one of those people who tries to invite themselves inside? In the past asking about what their layout is like or what their kitchen looks like, etc..

Anonymous wrote:No one owes you an invitation, OP. Your neighbor is not obligated to invite you. It would be good of you to get over yourself. With your "I guess we didn't make the guest list" quip I would predict you will not make the list from now on. You sound immature, and a bit like a creepy voyeur gazing into a neighbor's business.

Hard disagree and you seemed to delight in your putdowns.

No one owes you an invitation, OP. Your neighbor is not obligated to invite you. It would be good of you to get over yourself. With your "I guess we didn't make the guest list" quip I would predict you will not make the list from now on. You sound immature, and a bit like a creepy voyeur gazing into a neighbor's business.