Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 16:50     Subject: Would you tell a friend their book is awful?
Calling Toal BS on this post.

I am a published novelist with one of the big houses and there is absolutely no way I would ask a group of acquaintances what they think of my published novel(s).

I don't even ask my close friends or family.

In fact, none of the writers I know would dare. We know the people who love our book(s) will seek us out and tell us (and they do).

Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 16:44     Subject: Would you tell a friend their book is awful?
Hi OP-

Just coming on to say I’ve published books- one was a big commercial success. It has 4.5 stars on all the major sites so it was a success in general.. however, I will tell you I know that the vast majority of my friends have not read my books. If someone comes to me and says “I loved your book” I might say “cool, consider leaving a review on amazon, please!” But all this to say, I learned from a big time author that your friends aren’t your audience and I know it can feel like a letdown. I do believe friends should support these endeavors bc publishing a book usually is a multiple year effort of blood, sweat, and tears. Thanks to all the PP’s who say they buy their friends’ books, go to their signings, write the reviews, post on social media, etc. It is so appreciated!!
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 15:43     Subject: Would you tell a friend their book is awful?
Anonymous wrote:I sort of hinted at this with an ex girlfriend and it destroyed our relationship. I liked her poetry but she couldn’t write prose


I came here to say kind of the opposite—good prose, terrible poetry. I have a friend who’d published a couple of short stories about 10 years ago. I loved her writing . About 2 years ago, she wanted to start writing poetry and shared a poem with a few of her friends who write. It had some unintentionally really problematic imagery. She’d used a metaphor that could easily be considered racist. When we were very insistent that she needed to reconsider it, she became kind of condescending and implied we just didn’t understand her deep, deep poetry. It was like the critique turned her into a different person. None of us have heard from her since.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2023 10:14     Subject: Would you tell a friend their book is awful?
Surely there are one or two characters or specific sections that you could say something positive about? If she is legit asking for criticism, then offer something constructive but always lead with the positive!
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2023 11:07     Subject: Would you tell a friend their book is awful?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:NP. As a writer, I'm really happy when somebody raves about my draft. But it's not very useful to me and I actually want constructive criticism. If you're thinking something isn't working, then probably others and agents are too, so let me know.

I was taught this formula for critiquing others' work:
(1) Start with what you like, what's really working. If the author seems to be looking for validation, lay the praise on thick.
Only after this, (2) offer constructive criticism. "Get rid of character X, I don't see the point of her" is useless. Instead, "I wasn't sure how character X fit into the plot, could you make her more relevant by highlighting her relationship with Y" is helpful. Even if, as the author, you don't think that suggestion would work, it still gets you thinking about the problem with X.


You can do it even more tactfully than this, and hopefully if you were a professional editor or agent (as I was for years) you would do so.


How would you do it?
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2023 10:58     Subject: Would you tell a friend their book is awful?
Anonymous wrote:So, plot twist!

I’m the author. My friends have given polite, vague congratulations, minus one who told me who awful the book is.

Was just curious if the rest were lying, and it seems like they were. Pretty depressed now.


Books and reading are like old expressions for attraction: there is a lid for every pot or you are not everyone's cup of tea.
I would not assume because one "friend" was harsh that others were lying or that your book is awful. Your friend could be jealous and then hate-read your book. Your friend's taste in literature is different than yours or your other friends.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2023 20:27     Subject: Re:Would you tell a friend their book is awful?
No. My friend published a book a year ago.

It was terrible.

I bought 4 and gave them away. But it was beyond bad.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2023 20:25     Subject: Re:Would you tell a friend their book is awful?
Don’t tell her it’s awful. It’s published so their is no point to it. I’ve bought friends books and gone to their signings even when it was a book I wouldn’t normally read. To me it’s like attending a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, graduation, confirmation, wedding, etc. It’s a big deal for your friend. Don’t rain on her parade. It’s not like she can change anything now.

Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 19:27     Subject: Would you tell a friend their book is awful?
You say congrats and (something vague here). The same way I said “congratulations - it’s great!” when you insisted on showing me your kitchen renovation with the white cabinets and “Eggs - 5 cents” faux wall sign.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 18:21     Subject: Would you tell a friend their book is awful?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So, plot twist!

I’m the author. My friends have given polite, vague congratulations, minus one who told me who awful the book is.

Was just curious if the rest were lying, and it seems like they were. Pretty depressed now.


I'm an author too. The likeliest thing is they didn't read it. Publishing a book made me realize how few of my friends read at all.


Yeah, I am a reader, but don’t have time/energy to read something that isn’t in my interest. So even if a friend wrote it, it’s no guarantee I would read it, much less offer valuable or accurate feedback!

Good luck!!


+1 and I think it's highly likely that they polite friends never read the book.


Well let me suggest to all of you that if you ever have a friend who publishes a book, that you gush with them over the fact that the book exists - you don't actually have to read it to do that. Do SOMETHING to show how excited for them you are. Authors are worst case scenario people who will always assume if you say nothing it means you hated the book - just say something supportive. You can say you haven't had a chance to read it yet - that's fine. But buy a copy. Share the photo on social media and tag your friend = say how proud you are of your friend. Do something to show that you are actually a friend and not just some negging robot who exists to cultivate self-doubt.


^ And if you see the book at a B&N or another bookstore, take a picture. Share the picture with your friend. You really have no idea how lonely and frankly terrifying it is to be a writer. Having people on your side makes a huge difference. Just be kind - that's all.


+1

I have a friend who writes nonfiction books on, let’s say, something like the history of pottery. This is not a particular interest of mine, nor do I have a pottery-making friend who needs a holiday gift. She’s written multiple books on this same topic; i only bought the first one. But I take a photo of the latest book in my hands and put it on social media. This is really all you have to do to show some nice support and cheer for any friend in a creative profession, really.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 17:42     Subject: Would you tell a friend their book is awful?
I sort of hinted at this with an ex girlfriend and it destroyed our relationship. I liked her poetry but she couldn’t write prose
Anonymous
Post 01/08/2023 20:42     Subject: Re:Would you tell a friend their book is awful?
No