When a same-sex couple gets married, who should pay?

If full grown moms can get influenced by blingy fairytale events then how can we blame young girls for not seeing though consumerism traps propagated by Instagram and marketing machinery.

Anonymous wrote:It’s amazing how many of you hypocrites had your weddings paid for by mommy and daddy (especially the bride’s parents) AND your college paid for by mommy and daddy, and now you’re throwing around words and phrases like “feminism” and “elope” and “the wedding industry is a sham.”

Unless you paid for your wedding yourself or got married in city hall, you need to take several seats.

Oh bless your heart. Because a kid barely years out of high school is going to have the same perspective 20 years later am I right? If I got married again I would have no problem whatsoever cutting contact with anyone in my family who was upset over me having a courthouse wedding or eloping. Nor did my parents help me out with college. At all. But they did help my brother. It didn’t dawn on me till later I got a raw deal. Call me a hypocrite, whatever, what I won’t be, is a hypocrite over how I treat one of my kids compared to the other(and that includes never pressuring them to have a certain type of wedding). You can take that seat right next to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear that all the posters who bash weddings are just annoyed that their parents can’t or won’t pay for them. It’s jealousy. Plain and simple.

Wrong, my parents paid for my wedding almost 20 years ago and if I had the chance to do it over again, I would not have let them pay or had a traditional wedding. I would have gone to the courthouse or elope. People are are allowed to have different values and opinions than you. Also, the obligation that some parents feel when it comes to weddings causes them to jeopardize their finances. My parents pulled out from their 401k to pay for my wedding, something I didn’t find out until after the wedding was over. So yes, I will cast a critical eye towards the overall wedding industrial complex, with the way it brings out the worst in people, and I will especially judge parents who will help with weddings but won’t help with other stuff like paying for college.

Well you had to have had an idea that your wedding was a stretch for your parents to afford unless they kept you completely in the dark about their finances. In our case, our kids knew we could afford nice weddings and that it wasn’t a stretch. We have zero regrets and nothing but fond memories of each of our daughters’ “extravagant” weddings.

No I didn’t know they were struggling actually. Also, I was a dumb 22 year old kid, I was heavily pushed and pressured to have a “normal” wedding yet I was still young and ignorant enough where I was afraid to say no. They were the ones that wanted me to have the wedding. Now? They would be told to go pound sand. I would never pressure my kids to have a certain type of wedding.

It’s amazing how many of you hypocrites had your weddings paid for by mommy and daddy (especially the bride’s parents) AND your college paid for by mommy and daddy, and now you’re throwing around words and phrases like “feminism” and “elope” and “the wedding industry is a sham.”

Unless you paid for your wedding yourself or got married in city hall, you need to take several seats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear that all the posters who bash weddings are just annoyed that their parents can’t or won’t pay for them. It’s jealousy. Plain and simple.

Wrong, my parents paid for my wedding almost 20 years ago and if I had the chance to do it over again, I would not have let them pay or had a traditional wedding. I would have gone to the courthouse or elope. People are are allowed to have different values and opinions than you. Also, the obligation that some parents feel when it comes to weddings causes them to jeopardize their finances. My parents pulled out from their 401k to pay for my wedding, something I didn’t find out until after the wedding was over. So yes, I will cast a critical eye towards the overall wedding industrial complex, with the way it brings out the worst in people, and I will especially judge parents who will help with weddings but won’t help with other stuff like paying for college.

Well you had to have had an idea that your wedding was a stretch for your parents to afford unless they kept you completely in the dark about their finances. In our case, our kids knew we could afford nice weddings and that it wasn’t a stretch. We have zero regrets and nothing but fond memories of each of our daughters’ “extravagant” weddings.

Anonymous wrote:I will pay for college, graduate school and other things. They are on their own for a pricy wedding. A really cheap one like we did, maybe.

This^. I'll gladly pitch in with a small amount for support but wouldn't pay for extravagance. Education on the other hand is all covered because only reason they can't get financial aid at college, is because they are getting judged on basis of our finances. It would be unfair to push them to only consider colleges where they can get merit rides and not tge ones they've worked hard for.

Wedding industry is a huge scam. From selling blood diamonds to overpriced gowns and over the top decor, they've been making everyone feel you need all that to be happy. On the contrary, it has nothing to do with long term happiness. You can have a very simple wedding lead to a much happier marriage and vice versa.

Anonymous wrote:I swear that all the posters who bash weddings are just annoyed that their parents can’t or won’t pay for them. It’s jealousy. Plain and simple.

Wrong, my parents paid for my wedding almost 20 years ago and if I had the chance to do it over again, I would not have let them pay or had a traditional wedding. I would have gone to the courthouse or elope. People are are allowed to have different values and opinions than you. Also, the obligation that some parents feel when it comes to weddings causes them to jeopardize their finances. My parents pulled out from their 401k to pay for my wedding, something I didn’t find out until after the wedding was over. So yes, I will cast a critical eye towards the overall wedding industrial complex, with the way it brings out the worst in people, and I will especially judge parents who will help with weddings but won’t help with other stuff like paying for college.

Anonymous wrote:We have a wedding savings account for all DC - boys and girls have the same. It is for DC to use on wedding, or elope and use towards a house, or both. Money goes to them at 30 if not married and they can fund wedding on their own if they marry after that age.

This is what my parents did for us and what I will do for my own children. Fights over money are a big wedge between children, so it's best to be the most fair and equal as possible to avoid resentment.

I have three beautiful daughters. All I paid 100 percent for college. All three will have great careers by time they marry.

In regards to me paying. A few questions.

Does groom have student loans?
Is groom good with money?
What type of job does groom Have?
Will groom of if am paying have service in our church and raise kids in our religion?
Does groom have a house?

I dated an Italian Catholic girl with an MBA and good job and no debt when I was 30 and she was 29. I also had an MBA, good job was Catholic. My family actually lived 10 miles her family. In fact her Grandmother lived near my mother.

The Dad took my aside and said if interested he give a wedding just like his niece just had all paid for that was like 75k cash.

But what if I was a person in a Cult religion unemployed ex drug addict heavily in debt who wanted daughter to convert? Should he pay?

Guess what after me she dated a few guys and some guy in a band knocked her up on the second date! He did not get the wedding I was promised. I kinda feel the same.

My daughter is she married a Georgetown lawyer from Chevy Chase who is buying my daughter a 5,000 sf home in Bethesda and has means to send all my daughters kids to Ivy League schools I am paying for a 100k wedding but a guy in a trailer with missing teeth?

I will pay for college, graduate school and other things. They are on their own for a pricy wedding. A really cheap one like we did, maybe.

Anonymous wrote:I swear that all the posters who bash weddings are just annoyed that their parents can’t or won’t pay for them. It’s jealousy. Plain and simple.

Seriously! I regret my extravagant wedding every day. What a colossal waste of money.

I swear that all the posters who bash weddings are just annoyed that their parents can’t or won’t pay for them. It’s jealousy. Plain and simple.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone's focus should be on making marriage successful fpr the couple, instead of making wedding impressive and awe worthy for others.

+1

Yeah, encouraging the bachelor party of hos because you can't get laid? = NOT being supportive of the groom AND showing your own weak spots = NOT good. Not good for YOU, at all.