Anonymous
Post 12/25/2022 23:07     Subject: Re:Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
Anonymous wrote:I got married after 6 months of dating at 23. My husband was a 29 year old attorney with a lot of law school loans. 23 years we are still married with five kids.


you are a different generation.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2022 22:49     Subject: Re:Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
Yes. I got married at 22. Husband was 24.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2022 22:38     Subject: Re:Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
I got married after 6 months of dating at 23. My husband was a 29 year old attorney with a lot of law school loans. 23 years we are still married with five kids.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2022 20:23     Subject: Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
Being married helped my career as an Account Executive. I was viewed as more stable, more mature - not a party girl, no lovelife drama in the office or w/clients.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2022 17:35     Subject: Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
At 23 I was a college grad, married, mother of one, and pregnant with #2.

Some people are weird.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2022 16:02     Subject: Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
It can get lonely if you end up in a new town for grad school or job, having someone you know, love and trust by your side can be an asset for your mental, physical, social, financial and professional health.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2022 13:57     Subject: Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
Anonymous wrote:I would be thrilled that my son found someone he loves who has a career and passions of her own! Yay for them both!

Why wouldn’t you be happy for them? They can enjoy being married/learning to be adults together and have lots of time together before feeling rushed for babies.


I agree they still have to learn to be adults. Getting married is an adult decision. I would rather they wait (so they know they can be fine on their own).
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2022 22:30     Subject: Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
*that is if you want to have one. None is fine too.
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2022 22:28     Subject: Re:Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your DD can get engaged. She can get married even. Ask them to sign a pre-nup valid till they are childless, which allows them to have an easy divorce and no spousal support incase the marriage does not work out. They each walk away with their own money.

Tell your kid to not have a kid till she is 32. By that time, both the parties will have a firm idea how well suited they are and whether they should have kids together. It is really as simple as that. 23 is a great age. Get engaged. Get married. Have prenup for childless years. Don't have kids for the next 9-10 years.

Once they have kids - there should be no prenup. Money is joint. Marriage is forever. They should have enough financial cushion for SAH parent, job loss, underemployment etc.

Congratulations. This is not a bad thing.


Bad advice…have kids sooner! Late 20s is perfect.


Yup. Try to have first one around 28-32.
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2022 22:27     Subject: Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've already told all my kids they are not to get engaged/married until they've had a few years of having a fully developed brain, which happens around 24-25. So they won't get engaged until 27 at the earliest, unless they go rogue.



Hahahaha.


Its amazingly impressive how people quote parental control and frontal cortex in one breath trying to prove their point.
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2022 22:23     Subject: Re:Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your DD can get engaged. She can get married even. Ask them to sign a pre-nup valid till they are childless, which allows them to have an easy divorce and no spousal support incase the marriage does not work out. They each walk away with their own money.

Tell your kid to not have a kid till she is 32. By that time, both the parties will have a firm idea how well suited they are and whether they should have kids together. It is really as simple as that. 23 is a great age. Get engaged. Get married. Have prenup for childless years. Don't have kids for the next 9-10 years.

Once they have kids - there should be no prenup. Money is joint. Marriage is forever. They should have enough financial cushion for SAH parent, job loss, underemployment etc.

Congratulations. This is not a bad thing.


Bad advice…have kids sooner! Late 20s is perfect.


Absolutely not. Bad advice for all women, unless it is the religious nutjob submissive women.. Women get stuck in bad marriages because they have kids with terrible men. The reproductive cost is very high for women. Have children with a man who deserves to be the father of your children. Marry early, spend time with the man for a few years to have a good read on him. Women should own their reproductive decisions. Get pregnant and have kids after you have saved money, understood what the man stands for, and understand that you have a real life partner in your husband. Women owe their children to give them a good father and family life. Mid-30s is perfect time to have the first kid, and then the 2nd kid in a couple years. Stop after two kids, FFS!!

Don't marry a dud husband because you want a kid. If need be, freeze your eggs and go the surrogate route.



Its easy and cheap to do freezing, IVF and surrogacy? Just skip it all and adopt?
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2022 22:22     Subject: Re:Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your DD can get engaged. She can get married even. Ask them to sign a pre-nup valid till they are childless, which allows them to have an easy divorce and no spousal support incase the marriage does not work out. They each walk away with their own money.

Tell your kid to not have a kid till she is 32. By that time, both the parties will have a firm idea how well suited they are and whether they should have kids together. It is really as simple as that. 23 is a great age. Get engaged. Get married. Have prenup for childless years. Don't have kids for the next 9-10 years.

Once they have kids - there should be no prenup. Money is joint. Marriage is forever. They should have enough financial cushion for SAH parent, job loss, underemployment etc.

Congratulations. This is not a bad thing.


Bad advice…have kids sooner! Late 20s is perfect.


Absolutely not. Bad advice for all women, unless it is the religious nutjob submissive women.. Women get stuck in bad marriages because they have kids with terrible men. The reproductive cost is very high for women. Have children with a man who deserves to be the father of your children. Marry early, spend time with the man for a few years to have a good read on him. Women should own their reproductive decisions. Get pregnant and have kids after you have saved money, understood what the man stands for, and understand that you have a real life partner in your husband. Women owe their children to give them a good father and family life. Mid-30s is perfect time to have the first kid, and then the 2nd kid in a couple years. Stop after two kids, FFS!!

Don't marry a dud husband because you want a kid. If need be, freeze your eggs and go the surrogate route.


Why propagating mankind and parenting is only woman's responsibility?
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2022 21:15     Subject: Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
Anonymous wrote:I've already told all my kids they are not to get engaged/married until they've had a few years of having a fully developed brain, which happens around 24-25. So they won't get engaged until 27 at the earliest, unless they go rogue.



Hahahaha.
Anonymous
Post 12/24/2022 21:04     Subject: Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
Anonymous wrote:If she has a six figure job, no student loans and a small trust fund while he is applying to unpaid PhD programs and has large student loans.


Nope!

Anonymous
Post 12/24/2022 20:50     Subject: Re:Would you "let" your 23 year old get engaged to a grad student?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your DD can get engaged. She can get married even. Ask them to sign a pre-nup valid till they are childless, which allows them to have an easy divorce and no spousal support incase the marriage does not work out. They each walk away with their own money.

Tell your kid to not have a kid till she is 32. By that time, both the parties will have a firm idea how well suited they are and whether they should have kids together. It is really as simple as that. 23 is a great age. Get engaged. Get married. Have prenup for childless years. Don't have kids for the next 9-10 years.

Once they have kids - there should be no prenup. Money is joint. Marriage is forever. They should have enough financial cushion for SAH parent, job loss, underemployment etc.

Congratulations. This is not a bad thing.


Bad advice…have kids sooner! Late 20s is perfect.


Absolutely not. Bad advice for all women, unless it is the religious nutjob submissive women.. Women get stuck in bad marriages because they have kids with terrible men. The reproductive cost is very high for women. Have children with a man who deserves to be the father of your children. Marry early, spend time with the man for a few years to have a good read on him. Women should own their reproductive decisions. Get pregnant and have kids after you have saved money, understood what the man stands for, and understand that you have a real life partner in your husband. Women owe their children to give them a good father and family life. Mid-30s is perfect time to have the first kid, and then the 2nd kid in a couple years. Stop after two kids, FFS!!

Don't marry a dud husband because you want a kid. If need be, freeze your eggs and go the surrogate route.