Anonymous wrote:I would refuse to go and I would refuse to let him take the kids. Put your foot down, OP!

If they are coming back Christmas Eve morning and I had to get the house ready for hosting, wrap presents, etc., I would insist that he take the kids if he is dead set on going. Why would OP want to deal with young kids (they still believe in Santa so they must be young) on her own while trying to prep for hosting and finish wrapping? That would be a hell no from me, he’s welcome to go but only if he takes the kids.

This all seems so predictable. If you don't have plans a week or so before Christmas you know there will be some scramble about trying to figure something out quick. Why don't you and your husband make a joint call with them in November to figure it out? You nagging him to death and him coming up with a last minute plan that doesn't work seems to fail year after year. Try something new and be directly involved. Also realize they won't be traveling for whatever their reasons are. You probably know what the reasons are and are leaving the details out for some reason.

"DH, no. We are not available to travel on the 23rd and 24th. Because we are hosting and I have things to do. I enjoy your parents, and wish you'd invited them earlier to join us. We can travel to see them on the 28th/29th (or whenever) after I have had some rest from the Christmas madness".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, I’m as a big a fan of making spouses do their part and deal with their family, but if this happens every year and you don’t want to do it this way, just pick up the phone in October and November and invite them. You make your life as easy as possible.

OP here. I did that last year. I asked them at Thanksgiving. They said "no sorry, but when are you coming to celebrate Christmas with us?"

So it worked last year when you communicated earlier? Why didn’t you repeat that?

OP here. No it didn't work. DH made us travel last minute last year too because they wanted to see us and exchange presents.

Send him with the kids. Tell him you're getting the house ready and preparing for your family. Stand firm.

You are as bad as your husband as you keep doing the same thing expecting different results.