It's interesting that people feel they are entitled to opinions about nieces and nephews habits. Why?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Immigrant here. Honestly this kind of behavior does not occur in my country. One dish is prepared for each meal and the WHOLE family must eat whatever is served. Don’t want to eat it because of ‘pickiness’ then fine, go hungry. They eventually will eat some of what is served.

We don’t coddle the children like they do in the US.

I am an American and this is what my mother did and I do the same.

How many days of your kid not eating would it take for you to cave and find something that your kid would eat? Would you use force to 'make' the kid eat? Would you let the become lethargic? How much weight would you let the kid lose? Seriously wondering.

I think the parents who think they can master their kids’ eating issues by only serving healthy food and waiting them out are the same ones who also think they’re responsible for their kids’ superb sleep habits or early reading skills. Yeah, give them the tools to excel if that’s how they’re wired, but it’s a genetic crapshoot. If they’re hardwired with anxiety, autism, adhd, or other issues, you just keep trying until you find a way to keep them as healthy as possible. It’s not about winning or out maneuvering a strong willed child-they’re not doing it on purpose and most would be happy if they could be “normal,” but that’s not the hand they were dealt.

A friend has an autistic son and this type of food fixation was just par for the course. I would not dream of offering advice in her situation or your sister's unless specifically asked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Immigrant here. Honestly this kind of behavior does not occur in my country. One dish is prepared for each meal and the WHOLE family must eat whatever is served. Don’t want to eat it because of ‘pickiness’ then fine, go hungry. They eventually will eat some of what is served.

We don’t coddle the children like they do in the US.

I am an American and this is what my mother did and I do the same.

How many days of your kid not eating would it take for you to cave and find something that your kid would eat? Would you use force to 'make' the kid eat? Would you let the become lethargic? How much weight would you let the kid lose? Seriously wondering.

My niece has survived for 13 years on a diet of French fries and yogurt, and very little of either. No idea how she’s managed to grow into a nearly adult-sized person, but she has.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Immigrant here. Honestly this kind of behavior does not occur in my country. One dish is prepared for each meal and the WHOLE family must eat whatever is served. Don’t want to eat it because of ‘pickiness’ then fine, go hungry. They eventually will eat some of what is served.

We don’t coddle the children like they do in the US.

I am an American and this is what my mother did and I do the same.

+1. Another American here, and we had to sit at a the table until we had eaten a reasonable portion of the food. It taught us lessons about waste.

meh, you were just weak and gave in. Guess what? My parents tried this and I just sat at the dinner table until bedtime. Every night. No problem. Didn't give a damn. If they pulled it out for breakfast the next morning to "prove a point" I would simply sit until I needed to catch the bus for school. It taught me nothing except how not to treat my child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Okay, I get that there are children with neurological and genetic eating issues. And I get fixating on bread or potatoes, noodles or something that would be realistically served with some frequency in your home as part of a balanced meal. But hot dogs? Let’s face the fact this family has some trashy eating habits for a child this young to have the degree of exposure that would result in a preference. Someone is purchasing those hot dogs again and again. It find it very sad and I am not above the occasional Costco dog.

What if it weren’t hot dogs? What if it were boiled eggs? What if it were plain oatmeal?

What if the kid who only ate boiled eggs was with you at Costco, and the parents had been trying everything they could think of to get them to try something else, anything else, even if it’s not the healthiest item? You tried to get them to sample all the foods but they wouldn’t even try the juice or the cookie samples. Then, on your way out, they smelled the hot dogs and said that smelled good, and you’re feeling stressed out from all the food rejection, and you think, “I’m not above a costco hot dog, and I’d love for this kid to eat something besides a boiled egg,” so you get one. Guess what that kid wants for dinner. And breakfast. And lunch. Why do you think it took several exposures to a food for them to love it? It was the right food at the right time. It tasted good, it felt good to eat it. It’s consistent and they don’t have to wait long for it to cook. It’s plentiful so they never have to worry about running out. It doesn’t matter if it’s hot dogs or boiled eggs or steamed broccoli or Boston cream pie flavored yoplait. The problem isn’t the parenting or the single food of choice, it’s the anxiety and whatever else is the underlying cause of the restrictive diet (in our case, autism among other things), and judgmental know it’s alls like you. Every comment about food to a kid like that is going to spark that fight, flight or freeze response. None of those responses promote eating. Not only is it counterproductive to the kid’s problem, but it makes the parent feel judged, and that’s the opposite of helpful. Grow up and worry about your own plate, and maybe quit eating hot dogs at Costco if you’re going to judge other people’s eating habits.

Boiled eggs or plain oatmeal would be great. Excessive hot dog consumption especially from such a young age puts this kid at high risk of developing colon cancer later on in life. Which as you know, is increasing in young adults.

DP. So, you're more worried about potential colon cancer later in life than the impact of insufficient food intake in the present?

PP here. I’ve been through those food phases with DS, which is why I mentioned them specifically. Even if PP’s concern is colon health rather than general nutrition and limited palate, many people will comment regardless of the food. I love how they’re saying that eating only boiled eggs for every meal for an extended period is great. None of it is great, they’re all bad in different ways, but they’re all better than starving. I tried to out will my kid and gave in after he hadn’t eaten for 3 days. It traumatized us both and set us back so far. We went back to offering healthy choices along with at least one item he’d eat at every meal. Some kids will refuse to eat and don’t cave to hunger.

Sounds like maybe your niece has a sensory processing disorder and instead of judging them, you should MYOB.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Immigrant here. Honestly this kind of behavior does not occur in my country. One dish is prepared for each meal and the WHOLE family must eat whatever is served. Don’t want to eat it because of ‘pickiness’ then fine, go hungry. They eventually will eat some of what is served.

We don’t coddle the children like they do in the US.

I'd like to know where you're from and how broad your experience is - or are you just another uninformed, judgmental @55hole like OP?. I've worked in several developing nations as a pediatric occupational therapist primarily working in hospital and orphanage settings. I can tell you that in every country I've been in, there have been kids who have refused to eat all but one or two foods. I struggle to understand why people can't understand there are very real medical/neurological/psychological disorders behind this.

No, not every kid will eat when hungry. In fact, some kids don't feel hunger at all. In fact, look at the problem with anorexia in this country. Why do you suppose people with anorexia restrict their eating so much?

We are taking about young children. OP is referring to a 5 year old. Kids that young are not anorexic. A 15 year old? Sure.

And of course I don’t recommend using this method with kids who have medical or neurological issues. I thought that’s obvious.

And, you don't think that there's something going on with a kid who refuses to eat anything other than hot dogs? You think a typical kid wouldn't want to try some of the tasty food those in front of her are eating but, instead, only wants a hot dog? You don't think the parents get tired of ensuring there's a hot dog available for every meal? Doesn't that sound, at all, sound like there's something off? Something other than poor parental choices?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Immigrant here. Honestly this kind of behavior does not occur in my country. One dish is prepared for each meal and the WHOLE family must eat whatever is served. Don’t want to eat it because of ‘pickiness’ then fine, go hungry. They eventually will eat some of what is served.

We don’t coddle the children like they do in the US.

I'd like to know where you're from and how broad your experience is - or are you just another uninformed, judgmental @55hole like OP?. I've worked in several developing nations as a pediatric occupational therapist primarily working in hospital and orphanage settings. I can tell you that in every country I've been in, there have been kids who have refused to eat all but one or two foods. I struggle to understand why people can't understand there are very real medical/neurological/psychological disorders behind this.

No, not every kid will eat when hungry. In fact, some kids don't feel hunger at all. In fact, look at the problem with anorexia in this country. Why do you suppose people with anorexia restrict their eating so much?

We are taking about young children. OP is referring to a 5 year old. Kids that young are not anorexic. A 15 year old? Sure.

Tell me you know nothing about eating disorders without telling me you know nothing about eating disorders.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Okay, I get that there are children with neurological and genetic eating issues. And I get fixating on bread or potatoes, noodles or something that would be realistically served with some frequency in your home as part of a balanced meal. But hot dogs? Let’s face the fact this family has some trashy eating habits for a child this young to have the degree of exposure that would result in a preference. Someone is purchasing those hot dogs again and again. It find it very sad and I am not above the occasional Costco dog.

What if it weren’t hot dogs? What if it were boiled eggs? What if it were plain oatmeal?

What if the kid who only ate boiled eggs was with you at Costco, and the parents had been trying everything they could think of to get them to try something else, anything else, even if it’s not the healthiest item? You tried to get them to sample all the foods but they wouldn’t even try the juice or the cookie samples. Then, on your way out, they smelled the hot dogs and said that smelled good, and you’re feeling stressed out from all the food rejection, and you think, “I’m not above a costco hot dog, and I’d love for this kid to eat something besides a boiled egg,” so you get one. Guess what that kid wants for dinner. And breakfast. And lunch. Why do you think it took several exposures to a food for them to love it? It was the right food at the right time. It tasted good, it felt good to eat it. It’s consistent and they don’t have to wait long for it to cook. It’s plentiful so they never have to worry about running out. It doesn’t matter if it’s hot dogs or boiled eggs or steamed broccoli or Boston cream pie flavored yoplait. The problem isn’t the parenting or the single food of choice, it’s the anxiety and whatever else is the underlying cause of the restrictive diet (in our case, autism among other things), and judgmental know it’s alls like you. Every comment about food to a kid like that is going to spark that fight, flight or freeze response. None of those responses promote eating. Not only is it counterproductive to the kid’s problem, but it makes the parent feel judged, and that’s the opposite of helpful. Grow up and worry about your own plate, and maybe quit eating hot dogs at Costco if you’re going to judge other people’s eating habits.

Boiled eggs or plain oatmeal would be great. Excessive hot dog consumption especially from such a young age puts this kid at high risk of developing colon cancer later on in life. Which as you know, is increasing in young adults.

DP. So, you're more worried about potential colon cancer later in life than the impact of insufficient food intake in the present?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Okay, I get that there are children with neurological and genetic eating issues. And I get fixating on bread or potatoes, noodles or something that would be realistically served with some frequency in your home as part of a balanced meal. But hot dogs? Let’s face the fact this family has some trashy eating habits for a child this young to have the degree of exposure that would result in a preference. Someone is purchasing those hot dogs again and again. It find it very sad and I am not above the occasional Costco dog.

What if it weren’t hot dogs? What if it were boiled eggs? What if it were plain oatmeal?

What if the kid who only ate boiled eggs was with you at Costco, and the parents had been trying everything they could think of to get them to try something else, anything else, even if it’s not the healthiest item? You tried to get them to sample all the foods but they wouldn’t even try the juice or the cookie samples. Then, on your way out, they smelled the hot dogs and said that smelled good, and you’re feeling stressed out from all the food rejection, and you think, “I’m not above a costco hot dog, and I’d love for this kid to eat something besides a boiled egg,” so you get one. Guess what that kid wants for dinner. And breakfast. And lunch. Why do you think it took several exposures to a food for them to love it? It was the right food at the right time. It tasted good, it felt good to eat it. It’s consistent and they don’t have to wait long for it to cook. It’s plentiful so they never have to worry about running out. It doesn’t matter if it’s hot dogs or boiled eggs or steamed broccoli or Boston cream pie flavored yoplait. The problem isn’t the parenting or the single food of choice, it’s the anxiety and whatever else is the underlying cause of the restrictive diet (in our case, autism among other things), and judgmental know it’s alls like you. Every comment about food to a kid like that is going to spark that fight, flight or freeze response. None of those responses promote eating. Not only is it counterproductive to the kid’s problem, but it makes the parent feel judged, and that’s the opposite of helpful. Grow up and worry about your own plate, and maybe quit eating hot dogs at Costco if you’re going to judge other people’s eating habits.

Boiled eggs or plain oatmeal would be great. Excessive hot dog consumption especially from such a young age puts this kid at high risk of developing colon cancer later on in life. Which as you know, is increasing in young adults.

Combining posts, at least you know to give them hotdogs for Christmas and don’t have to have angst over what gift to give.

Anonymous wrote:

Okay, I get that there are children with neurological and genetic eating issues. And I get fixating on bread or potatoes, noodles or something that would be realistically served with some frequency in your home as part of a balanced meal. But hot dogs? Let’s face the fact this family has some trashy eating habits for a child this young to have the degree of exposure that would result in a preference. Someone is purchasing those hot dogs again and again. It find it very sad and I am not above the occasional Costco dog.

What if it weren’t hot dogs? What if it were boiled eggs? What if it were plain oatmeal?

What if the kid who only ate boiled eggs was with you at Costco, and the parents had been trying everything they could think of to get them to try something else, anything else, even if it’s not the healthiest item? You tried to get them to sample all the foods but they wouldn’t even try the juice or the cookie samples. Then, on your way out, they smelled the hot dogs and said that smelled good, and you’re feeling stressed out from all the food rejection, and you think, “I’m not above a costco hot dog, and I’d love for this kid to eat something besides a boiled egg,” so you get one. Guess what that kid wants for dinner. And breakfast. And lunch. Why do you think it took several exposures to a food for them to love it? It was the right food at the right time. It tasted good, it felt good to eat it. It’s consistent and they don’t have to wait long for it to cook. It’s plentiful so they never have to worry about running out. It doesn’t matter if it’s hot dogs or boiled eggs or steamed broccoli or Boston cream pie flavored yoplait. The problem isn’t the parenting or the single food of choice, it’s the anxiety and whatever else is the underlying cause of the restrictive diet (in our case, autism among other things), and judgmental know it’s alls like you. Every comment about food to a kid like that is going to spark that fight, flight or freeze response. None of those responses promote eating. Not only is it counterproductive to the kid’s problem, but it makes the parent feel judged, and that’s the opposite of helpful. Grow up and worry about your own plate, and maybe quit eating hot dogs at Costco if you’re going to judge other people’s eating habits.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Immigrant here. Honestly this kind of behavior does not occur in my country. One dish is prepared for each meal and the WHOLE family must eat whatever is served. Don’t want to eat it because of ‘pickiness’ then fine, go hungry. They eventually will eat some of what is served.

We don’t coddle the children like they do in the US.

I am an American and this is what my mother did and I do the same.

I also do this with my kids. The key is that they’re *not* especially picky eaters. But you can’t change certain pickinesses. For example, one of my kids HATES meat. Tonight we had beef stew and she ate some crackers and an orange. Which is fine because she ate two other solid meals today and snacks. If she treated every single meal like beef stew and only ate crackers and oranges, you bet crackers and oranges would appear regularly on my table in massive quantities. Eating a single food is better than starving.