Would never let it happen. I would be getting my own apartment right now.

She’ll be socializing and bringing back germs to a home with a newborn. Hard stop. She cannot stay with you.

There's a very good chance you or your husband will want to sleep in the guest room so the other can sleep in the other bed. I'd nip this now, but since your husband has proven incapable of telling his mother no, I'd take that task on myself. Set a future date you'd be willing to host in a few months and be clear about the amount of time she can stay.

My friends MIL came for a visit around the time their second was born with the understanding she'd take care of the toddler while my friend was giving birth. Next thing she knew MIL was in the delivery room with her and toddler was ditched with a neighbor. My friend was pissed about that for years and nearly divorced over it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 bedroom condo? Where would she sleep? Baby is in the nursery and you're in your room. Tell DH there's no way this would work. Sounds awful.

2nd bedroom is just a full bed pushed in the corner of our office. She will sleep in there. Baby will sleep in a bassinet in our bedroom. It’s going to be very tight and knowing her she will expect some sort of holiday celebration I need to plan since she will
be with us over Christmas.

Don’t do it. Seriously don’t do it. You will have a newborn. I hope you plan to nurse. You take the baby into your room and nurse. Hide out in there. That will eat up 8-10 hours of the day. She will be sleeping for 8 hours probably. Let the baby cry loudly at 1 and 3 and 5 am.

+1 You may end up not wanting the baby in your room. I could sleep with the baby in the room. I heard every single change in breathing and squirm. I woke at the slightest of sounds. It was horrible. Had 3 kids and couldn't sleep in the same room when they were newborns.

And the PP who asked if you had a 2nd bathroom is spot on. Even if you have a C-section, you're still gonna be bleeding for weeks afterwards.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL stayed with us when #2 was born. I thought she'd be here for just the first week, but dh had her stay for three weeks total. I thought it went fine, actually, but apparently in the throes of those first sleepless nights I said something that offended her and after she left she was so pissed off that I ended up going 10 years without speaking to her after that.

Tell dh to get her a hotel.

Is she from a country/culture different from yours? I'm trying to envision something so bad that I would refuse to speak to a DIL for 10 yrs but not mention it in the moment "hey, ouch that was rather hurtful"or whatever.

Borderline personality disorder. You're golden until you're not. I was golden, then I wasn't. She doesn't speak to her two sisters, didn't speak to her own mother for twenty years before the mother died. It's just par for the course with her.

And your DH let her stay for 3 weeks? And your marriage survived that? Wow.

Apologies if this was already posted. I haven’t read every post.

https://community.babycenter.com/post/a29842181/the_lemon_clot_essay-_if_you_are_planning_to_have_people_over_after_birth_you_need_to_read_this

Half my office is out in sick leave from Thanksgiving. People have COVID, flu, and RSV. Two people have two of those. I have never seen anything like this. Also heard an NPR story today on overwhelmed hospitals. Your MIL is endangering all of you, especially the newborn.

This is so idiotic that I’d already be planning the divorce. Your DH is a moron.

11. We cherished our quiet time alone with each of our newborns. We didn’t host any visitors for 1-2 weeks. It was great. Some of my fondest memories.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 bedroom condo? Where would she sleep? Baby is in the nursery and you're in your room. Tell DH there's no way this would work. Sounds awful.

2nd bedroom is just a full bed pushed in the corner of our office. She will sleep in there. Baby will sleep in a bassinet in our bedroom. It’s going to be very tight and knowing her she will expect some sort of holiday celebration I need to plan since she will
be with us over Christmas.

Don’t do it. Seriously don’t do it. You will have a newborn. I hope you plan to nurse. You take the baby into your room and nurse. Hide out in there. That will eat up 8-10 hours of the day. She will be sleeping for 8 hours probably. Let the baby cry loudly at 1 and 3 and 5 am.

How pissed off is your mother going to be when she was turned away, but MIL gets to move in for a month?

A10. So annoyed that it wouldn’t happen. DH is in his 40’s and thinks this is a good idea? Is he really that clueless about what’s in store for you both with a newborn? I hate to break it to you both but for the first few weeks you will feel like you don’t have time to shower or go to the bathroom or sleep at all! Zero chance I would let this happen. How idiotic.

10. NOPE!!!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dunno. As someone who had ill-timed houseguests for both of my pregnancies/births, I don't think I'd be too annoyed about this. Maybe a 3 out of 10. My first was really difficult and I barely slept, but it was nice to have someone around to talk to. My second was so easy and slept so much that I was really bored and again, it was nice to at least have someone to pass time with.

Are we talking like...doesn't lift a finger as in won't make dinner/clean up? Or she won't even make sandwiches?

Has never made a sandwich or meal or offered me a cup of water before. Extremely unhelpful. I’ll be expected to cook for her.

Why would you, and not your husband, be expected to cook for her?

Book her a return flight for the day after she arrives.