Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell is your income you selfish clown

HHI near $180.

4 kids.

Dc metro area.

Supporting elderly parents who didn’t save for retirement. I won’t make that mistake.

You have a good income but too many kids. You set up your kid and should never allowed it.

Well my sibling died and I’m raising their kid.

Geez, I always knew Dcumlandia was a harsh place, but you people are particularly harsh.

Then you get social security for the. And you still have good income.

Offspring of deceased parents don't get survivors' benefits beyond age 18, unless still in highschool. It used to be the case that benefits continued through college, but that ship sailed in 1981 (thank you, Ronald Reagan).

This scenario is sad and made much more difficult by the expectations that the well-meaning relative set forth with the unrealistic and unsustainable "gift". You've said what you're willing to pay for OP, the student is going to have to figure it out on their own to some degree. It certainly sounds like there are a lot of variables and some unhappiness ahead.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. What do you mean you couldn’t “rein in” your kid. You should have said”we can not afford this.”

Your choices now are your kid transfers or you take out expensive Parent Plus loans or you pull cash from your investments/savings. Those are your choices.

This is exactly right. My heart breaks for this kid. OP, why didn’t you say no? I highly doubt the kid and the relative would’ve done this behind your back. You didn’t want to be the bad guy last year and caused this issue.

Sigh

We told our kid they would need to use loans to cover whatever we can’t cover. Now I’m trying to help friends tire out the best approach.

Nobody was blindsided.

There’s still part of me that remains hopeful they’ll transfer.

So relative and student hatched this plan… and then what? You stepped back and let it all go down? Did relative take them dorm shopping? Drop them off at school? At what point did you wash your hands of this situation knowing you would eventually end up here?

Count your blessings that your children listen to you. My kid didn’t.

Having said that, they are actually very independent. I suspect if I just step back and let them figure this out, they will.

You could’ve put the kibosh on this and didn’t. Why set up the kid for disappointment?

Because I’m selfish and totally clueless like previous posters said.

Or because my adult child made a decision and ran with it.

Well you told your “adult” child that they could take out a loan, which obviously is not possible. You think some private lender is going to lend a 19 or 20 year old $100,000 plus? A teenager would not understand that private student loans are not available to them. You made them think that that was a possibility so yes, you are either clueless and thought it was, or callous and told them that even though you knew it wasn’t possible. Which is it?

Anonymous wrote:Can you get a side hustle? I went from part time to full time to pay tuition beyond our 529. Eldest finishes next year, youngest starts 2024. 529s cover first year if instate.

If anyone has a side hustle that earns $50k a year, I want to know what it is!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can she apply to be an RA? Get a PT job? Work (really work) summers/breaks? Take extra credits/summer school to finish in three years (would cut back on room and board and fees)? Apply for private scholarships? ROTC?

DP. This is an excellent idea that I never think of

I meant applying to be an RA is an excellent idea

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell is your income you selfish clown

HHI near $180.

4 kids.

Dc metro area.

Supporting elderly parents who didn’t save for retirement. I won’t make that mistake.

You have a good income but too many kids. You set up your kid and should never allowed it.

Well my sibling died and I’m raising their kid.

Geez, I always knew Dcumlandia was a harsh place, but you people are particularly harsh.

Then you get social security for the. And you still have good income.

Anonymous wrote:Can she apply to be an RA? Get a PT job? Work (really work) summers/breaks? Take extra credits/summer school to finish in three years (would cut back on room and board and fees)? Apply for private scholarships? ROTC?

DP. This is an excellent idea that I never think of

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. What do you mean you couldn’t “rein in” your kid. You should have said”we can not afford this.”

Your choices now are your kid transfers or you take out expensive Parent Plus loans or you pull cash from your investments/savings. Those are your choices.

This is exactly right. My heart breaks for this kid. OP, why didn’t you say no? I highly doubt the kid and the relative would’ve done this behind your back. You didn’t want to be the bad guy last year and caused this issue.

Sigh

We told our kid they would need to use loans to cover whatever we can’t cover. Now I’m trying to help friends tire out the best approach.

Nobody was blindsided.

There’s still part of me that remains hopeful they’ll transfer.

So relative and student hatched this plan… and then what? You stepped back and let it all go down? Did relative take them dorm shopping? Drop them off at school? At what point did you wash your hands of this situation knowing you would eventually end up here?

Count your blessings that your children listen to you. My kid didn’t.

Having said that, they are actually very independent. I suspect if I just step back and let them figure this out, they will.

It sound like you approved this. We’re you clear you could not pay for it?

Can she apply to be an RA? Get a PT job? Work (really work) summers/breaks? Take extra credits/summer school to finish in three years (would cut back on room and board and fees)? Apply for private scholarships? ROTC?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. What do you mean you couldn’t “rein in” your kid. You should have said”we can not afford this.”

Your choices now are your kid transfers or you take out expensive Parent Plus loans or you pull cash from your investments/savings. Those are your choices.

This is exactly right. My heart breaks for this kid. OP, why didn’t you say no? I highly doubt the kid and the relative would’ve done this behind your back. You didn’t want to be the bad guy last year and caused this issue.

Sigh

We told our kid they would need to use loans to cover whatever we can’t cover. Now I’m trying to help friends tire out the best approach.

Nobody was blindsided.

There’s still part of me that remains hopeful they’ll transfer.

So relative and student hatched this plan… and then what? You stepped back and let it all go down? Did relative take them dorm shopping? Drop them off at school? At what point did you wash your hands of this situation knowing you would eventually end up here?

Count your blessings that your children listen to you. My kid didn’t.

Having said that, they are actually very independent. I suspect if I just step back and let them figure this out, they will.

You could’ve put the kibosh on this and didn’t. Why set up the kid for disappointment?

Because I’m selfish and totally clueless like previous posters said.

Or because my adult child made a decision and ran with it.

OP, am I understanding that your "adult" child is currently a freshman in college. I am assuming that when they received their college acceptances and were in the process of making the decision of where to attend they were a senior in HS?
How can your child make that decision and run with it as you say without your input? People here are giving you a tough time because it just does not make sense. Plus, you are making yourself out to be the victim when you, as the adult, should have been leading the way for your child (or at least not so passive with such a major decision).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. What do you mean you couldn’t “rein in” your kid. You should have said”we can not afford this.”

Your choices now are your kid transfers or you take out expensive Parent Plus loans or you pull cash from your investments/savings. Those are your choices.

This is exactly right. My heart breaks for this kid. OP, why didn’t you say no? I highly doubt the kid and the relative would’ve done this behind your back. You didn’t want to be the bad guy last year and caused this issue.

Sigh

We told our kid they would need to use loans to cover whatever we can’t cover. Now I’m trying to help friends tire out the best approach.

Nobody was blindsided.

There’s still part of me that remains hopeful they’ll transfer.

So relative and student hatched this plan… and then what? You stepped back and let it all go down? Did relative take them dorm shopping? Drop them off at school? At what point did you wash your hands of this situation knowing you would eventually end up here?

Count your blessings that your children listen to you. My kid didn’t.

Having said that, they are actually very independent. I suspect if I just step back and let them figure this out, they will.

You could’ve put the kibosh on this and didn’t. Why set up the kid for disappointment?

Because I’m selfish and totally clueless like previous posters said.

Or because my adult child made a decision and ran with it.

So they are an adult child that made a decision and ran with it, why are you involved now? Did they asked for your involvement?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. What do you mean you couldn’t “rein in” your kid. You should have said”we can not afford this.”

Your choices now are your kid transfers or you take out expensive Parent Plus loans or you pull cash from your investments/savings. Those are your choices.

This is exactly right. My heart breaks for this kid. OP, why didn’t you say no? I highly doubt the kid and the relative would’ve done this behind your back. You didn’t want to be the bad guy last year and caused this issue.

Sigh

We told our kid they would need to use loans to cover whatever we can’t cover. Now I’m trying to help friends tire out the best approach.

Nobody was blindsided.

There’s still part of me that remains hopeful they’ll transfer.

So relative and student hatched this plan… and then what? You stepped back and let it all go down? Did relative take them dorm shopping? Drop them off at school? At what point did you wash your hands of this situation knowing you would eventually end up here?

Count your blessings that your children listen to you. My kid didn’t.

Having said that, they are actually very independent. I suspect if I just step back and let them figure this out, they will.

You could’ve put the kibosh on this and didn’t. Why set up the kid for disappointment?

Because I’m selfish and totally clueless like previous posters said.

Or because my adult child made a decision and ran with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. What do you mean you couldn’t “rein in” your kid. You should have said”we can not afford this.”

Your choices now are your kid transfers or you take out expensive Parent Plus loans or you pull cash from your investments/savings. Those are your choices.

This is exactly right. My heart breaks for this kid. OP, why didn’t you say no? I highly doubt the kid and the relative would’ve done this behind your back. You didn’t want to be the bad guy last year and caused this issue.

Sigh

We told our kid they would need to use loans to cover whatever we can’t cover. Now I’m trying to help friends tire out the best approach.

Nobody was blindsided.

There’s still part of me that remains hopeful they’ll transfer.

So relative and student hatched this plan… and then what? You stepped back and let it all go down? Did relative take them dorm shopping? Drop them off at school? At what point did you wash your hands of this situation knowing you would eventually end up here?

Count your blessings that your children listen to you. My kid didn’t.

Having said that, they are actually very independent. I suspect if I just step back and let them figure this out, they will.

You could’ve put the kibosh on this and didn’t. Why set up the kid for disappointment?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. What do you mean you couldn’t “rein in” your kid. You should have said”we can not afford this.”

Your choices now are your kid transfers or you take out expensive Parent Plus loans or you pull cash from your investments/savings. Those are your choices.

This is exactly right. My heart breaks for this kid. OP, why didn’t you say no? I highly doubt the kid and the relative would’ve done this behind your back. You didn’t want to be the bad guy last year and caused this issue.

Sigh

We told our kid they would need to use loans to cover whatever we can’t cover. Now I’m trying to help friends tire out the best approach.

Nobody was blindsided.

There’s still part of me that remains hopeful they’ll transfer.

So relative and student hatched this plan… and then what? You stepped back and let it all go down? Did relative take them dorm shopping? Drop them off at school? At what point did you wash your hands of this situation knowing you would eventually end up here?

Count your blessings that your children listen to you. My kid didn’t.

Having said that, they are actually very independent. I suspect if I just step back and let them figure this out, they will.

Maybe your kid doesn’t listen to you because they figured out you are totally clueless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. What do you mean you couldn’t “rein in” your kid. You should have said”we can not afford this.”

Your choices now are your kid transfers or you take out expensive Parent Plus loans or you pull cash from your investments/savings. Those are your choices.

This is exactly right. My heart breaks for this kid. OP, why didn’t you say no? I highly doubt the kid and the relative would’ve done this behind your back. You didn’t want to be the bad guy last year and caused this issue.

Sigh

We told our kid they would need to use loans to cover whatever we can’t cover. Now I’m trying to help friends tire out the best approach.

Nobody was blindsided.

There’s still part of me that remains hopeful they’ll transfer.

So relative and student hatched this plan… and then what? You stepped back and let it all go down? Did relative take them dorm shopping? Drop them off at school? At what point did you wash your hands of this situation knowing you would eventually end up here?

Count your blessings that your children listen to you. My kid didn’t.

Having said that, they are actually very independent. I suspect if I just step back and let them figure this out, they will.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. What do you mean you couldn’t “rein in” your kid. You should have said”we can not afford this.”

Your choices now are your kid transfers or you take out expensive Parent Plus loans or you pull cash from your investments/savings. Those are your choices.

This is exactly right. My heart breaks for this kid. OP, why didn’t you say no? I highly doubt the kid and the relative would’ve done this behind your back. You didn’t want to be the bad guy last year and caused this issue.

Sigh

We told our kid they would need to use loans to cover whatever we can’t cover. Now I’m trying to help friends tire out the best approach.

Nobody was blindsided.

There’s still part of me that remains hopeful they’ll transfer.

Your kid can’t get loans beyond the $5500 unsubsidized federal loans (or whatever it goes up to each year. ) No one is going to lend your child, with no income and no collateral, that kind of money. Telling a 17 or 18 year old they will have to take out a loan — where literally none are available — is irresponsible and misleading and plain bad parenting.