Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been a parent for 8 years and have never been truly ill since I had kids. It is one of my biggest fears is being super sick and stuck in bed and having to take care of young kids. I probably haven't been super sick in over 15 years and that was when I was living abroad.

If you are truly sick what do you do? Does your spouse handle everything? What if they have to work?

I’ve almost died 4x since I had my eldest, including twice in one calendar year. In between, I’ve had periods when autoimmune disease, cancer, or gynecological issues left me bed bound for weeks or months. When DH and I were first dating, I had gynecological surgery and he showed off his caregiving skills. I’m so fortunate he’s willing and able, but I do have other family and friends who step in.

I am so sorry. I hope that you doing better!

Yes, I have some chronic health issues and have bad flare-ups. It used to cause me greater anxiety when the kids were tiny, though we have a great village and there was always someone to step in to help. Now they are tweens/teens and can do everything for themselves except drive, so it's not hard to handle. I have COVID at the moment and everything is chugging along fine without me. I just got someone else to drive the youngest to school.

I'm sure this is just some kind of primal fear related to wanting to make sure your young survive, but just try to think through the situation rationally (actually, kids who have to step up and take care of themselves will be more resilient and independent in the end) and do whatever breathing or meditation exercises help you. There was one night when I really needed help and I called 11 people before someone picked up. I just kept thinking of someone else to try and dialing until I got someone who could come over. When push comes to shove, you figure it out; that's what moms do!

Anonymous wrote:I have been a parent for 8 years and have never been truly ill since I had kids. It is one of my biggest fears is being super sick and stuck in bed and having to take care of young kids. I probably haven't been super sick in over 15 years and that was when I was living abroad.

If you are truly sick what do you do? Does your spouse handle everything? What if they have to work?

I’ve almost died 4x since I had my eldest, including twice in one calendar year. In between, I’ve had periods when autoimmune disease, cancer, or gynecological issues left me bed bound for weeks or months. When DH and I were first dating, I had gynecological surgery and he showed off his caregiving skills. I’m so fortunate he’s willing and able, but I do have other family and friends who step in.

Yes! I've done inpatient psych, twice. Otherwise I have tons of energy and do wonderfully. Thankful. It's given me more empathy and resilience and has made me a better person and a better parent.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t jinx yourself OP! I used to get debilitating migraines when my kids were babies and DH would be at work. Luckily I found my trigger and a life changing medicine so don’t have to deal with that anymore. I also got the flu at the same time as DD while we were on a girl’s vacation. No DH. No car. No help. Nothing. That was fun. Oh and equally fun was the time we all had norovirus together. Made the time we all got Covid together look like a walk in the park.

Glad to hear that you found what works for you. I also have chronic migraine which has devolved to vestibular migraines. I had a month where I couldn't do much ( no driving) because everything kept spinning. It was awful. Had to do vestibular rehab to get my balance back, and I'm still terrified of the attacks. People don't understand how debilitating migraine can be. Terrible freaking disease.

Luckily, we live within walking distance to school so kids can walk to/from school w/o a parent. My health issues are the reason why we stay here - need the kids to be able to take care of themselves should anything happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I can say from reading (most of?) these replies is that it must be nice to be a husband. Sheesh.

Ugh, seriously.

I guess you don't have parents or siblings or good friends either? I don't know why anyone would be a single mom by choice without setting up a great support network first.

Pp here. You misread the original post this "ugh seriously" person was agreeing with. It says, it must be nice to be a husband, not have a husband. Ha!

Hahaha, you're right, I TOTALLY misread it, thanks!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once when I had a toddler. I’m a single parent. My ex came over to take care of our son and my friend brought over medicine and groceries. It was great because it made my ex realize that it takes 2 people to do what I do on my own.

Your ex came over and took care of son so, obviously, you are not a single parent. Stop with your martyrdom.

He lives in Texas. He was visiting his mother in the hospital and she died a few days later. That’s why he was around.

Anonymous wrote:Once when I had a toddler. I’m a single parent. My ex came over to take care of our son and my friend brought over medicine and groceries. It was great because it made my ex realize that it takes 2 people to do what I do on my own.

Your ex came over and took care of son so, obviously, you are not a single parent. Stop with your martyrdom.

Once when I had a toddler. I’m a single parent. My ex came over to take care of our son and my friend brought over medicine and groceries. It was great because it made my ex realize that it takes 2 people to do what I do on my own.