Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't ask white people this question, they're always going to say yes it's OK go ahead! In reality, it's not. Marrying someone doesn't give you a free pass to play dress up. It's not your culture, it never will be. You already know not to do it.

+100000.

Please don't play dress up. Just wear your regular clothes. Appropriating someone else's dress is almost always SUPER OFFENSIVE and patronizing. Also, what's next? By that twisted logic, are you also going to give yourself permission to wear non-white hairstyles just because you married a non-white person?

Who died and made you the boss of deciding what other people should wear?

Anonymous wrote:Is a tuxedo white people ethnic costume? Would you ever be offended by a guy in a tux just because they are not European?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wear anything you want, any time you want, regardless of your spouse’s ethnicity. Cultural appropriation is a myth.

I agree with you that people should be able to wear whatever they want. But in our messed up world, people will judge you for it, even though that’s dumb.

Years ago I had a beautiful red dress with a flower pattern on it and a mandarin collar. I wore it because it was pretty and got lots of compliments. Two decades later when someone saw an old photo of me in it they commented that I “couldn’t get away with that today” because apparently that was “cultural appropriation.” The world has gone totally mad.

Your friend was right, if you wore a cheongsam style dress to a cocktail party as a white woman it would certainly raise eyebrows in SOME circles.

But WHY? I wasn’t wearing it as a costume. I just thought it was a flattering style on me. Why would it be offensive?

Do you understand the cultural significance of the cheongsam dress?

The fact that all you care about was “it’s flattering” is the problem. That dress has major cultural significance and you don’t even understand what that is.

Pp who posted the YouTube video here with an honest question.

What is the major cultural significance that would make it inappropriate for the other poster to wear the dress? Admittedly, I know relatively little about China and its culture, which is one of the reasons I like to watch YouTube videos about it and other places around the world. The impression I got from that video is that the dress has no specific significance and that Chinese people are fine with Westerners wearing it, especially if it’s flattering. Maybe the YouTuber didn’t fully understand the situation, but if there is a significance to the dress, I’d appreciate learning about it to add to my general knowledge.

This is a big part of the problem. It is not on POC to educate you. You are fully capable of googling it.

White people doing things that are offensive, then playing innocent and going “please educate me!” isn’t acceptable.

Anonymous wrote:This whole concept of cultural appropriation is getting ridiculous.

My husband is from Latin America. Last time we visited some indigenous women were selling bags on the street. I wanted one but the I policed myself. I knew if I used that bag somebody would say I am appropriating another culture.

The saddest part is that those ladies didn' t make a sale with me. Do you think they care about white people wearing their clothes? No. It is just white people policing others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't ask white people this question, they're always going to say yes it's OK go ahead! In reality, it's not. Marrying someone doesn't give you a free pass to play dress up. It's not your culture, it never will be. You already know not to do it.

+100000.

Please don't play dress up. Just wear your regular clothes. Appropriating someone else's dress is almost always SUPER OFFENSIVE and patronizing. Also, what's next? By that twisted logic, are you also going to give yourself permission to wear non-white hairstyles just because you married a non-white person?

And herein lies the problem with "cultural appropriation" -- it's really just white people policing other white people. I am South Asian and I love when white people wear South Asian clothing to cultural and family events. Please, celebrate our culture, no offense taken!! Just don't put a god on your f_cking flip flops and tote bags, please. Do you see the difference?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wear anything you want, any time you want, regardless of your spouse’s ethnicity. Cultural appropriation is a myth.

I agree with you that people should be able to wear whatever they want. But in our messed up world, people will judge you for it, even though that’s dumb.

Years ago I had a beautiful red dress with a flower pattern on it and a mandarin collar. I wore it because it was pretty and got lots of compliments. Two decades later when someone saw an old photo of me in it they commented that I “couldn’t get away with that today” because apparently that was “cultural appropriation.” The world has gone totally mad.

Your friend was right, if you wore a cheongsam style dress to a cocktail party as a white woman it would certainly raise eyebrows in SOME circles.

But WHY? I wasn’t wearing it as a costume. I just thought it was a flattering style on me. Why would it be offensive?

Do you understand the cultural significance of the cheongsam dress?

The fact that all you care about was “it’s flattering” is the problem. That dress has major cultural significance and you don’t even understand what that is.

Pp who posted the YouTube video here with an honest question.

What is the major cultural significance that would make it inappropriate for the other poster to wear the dress? Admittedly, I know relatively little about China and its culture, which is one of the reasons I like to watch YouTube videos about it and other places around the world. The impression I got from that video is that the dress has no specific significance and that Chinese people are fine with Westerners wearing it, especially if it’s flattering. Maybe the YouTuber didn’t fully understand the situation, but if there is a significance to the dress, I’d appreciate learning about it to add to my general knowledge.

This is a big part of the problem. It is not on POC to educate you. You are fully capable of googling it.

White people doing things that are offensive, then playing innocent and going “please educate me!” isn’t acceptable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this board is probably majority white, but I wonder if those of you saying “of course you can, you dummy!” Are not white. White people know you can’t wear stuff or hairstyles or anything of ethnicities where the people are not white without possibly being horribly offensive. We are constantly told we cannot do it. That’s fine with me, whatever makes other people comfortable is fine. But don’t act like this stuff is universally accepted.

You clearly aren't married to or good friends with someone from a different culture or you would already know the answer to OP's question - totally fine, shows respect and appreciation of the culture.

Now if you are a white person who wore a sari to your white friend's wedding in rural Kentucky, that would be weird.

Well, no. As someone from a different culture, I would not consider the answer to OP's question to be "totally fine."

You would be offended if your same culture friend's spouse wore your culture's attire to a cultural event?

I wouldn't storm out, but I would find it forced and costume-like. That doesn't mean it's immoral. It just means that people of the same non-white culture can have different feelings about white people wearing traditional clothing. To assert that it's "totally fine" is just wrong.

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends. Like if you are married to a person of Indian heritage and you go to an Indian wedding, yes you can wear a sari no problem, lots of non-Indian people do this at weddings even if they are not married in, because saris are beautiful and it’s considered a respectful way of embracing the culture and traditions.

On the other hand, if you married a Jewish woman (who is not orthodox) and then wanted to dress as an Orthodox Jew, I’d consider that weird and disrespectful on like 4 different levels.

The detail matter here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this board is probably majority white, but I wonder if those of you saying “of course you can, you dummy!” Are not white. White people know you can’t wear stuff or hairstyles or anything of ethnicities where the people are not white without possibly being horribly offensive. We are constantly told we cannot do it. That’s fine with me, whatever makes other people comfortable is fine. But don’t act like this stuff is universally accepted.

You clearly aren't married to or good friends with someone from a different culture or you would already know the answer to OP's question - totally fine, shows respect and appreciation of the culture.

Now if you are a white person who wore a sari to your white friend's wedding in rural Kentucky, that would be weird.

Well, no. As someone from a different culture, I would not consider the answer to OP's question to be "totally fine."

You would be offended if your same culture friend's spouse wore your culture's attire to a cultural event?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wear anything you want, any time you want, regardless of your spouse’s ethnicity. Cultural appropriation is a myth.

I agree with you that people should be able to wear whatever they want. But in our messed up world, people will judge you for it, even though that’s dumb.

Years ago I had a beautiful red dress with a flower pattern on it and a mandarin collar. I wore it because it was pretty and got lots of compliments. Two decades later when someone saw an old photo of me in it they commented that I “couldn’t get away with that today” because apparently that was “cultural appropriation.” The world has gone totally mad.

Your friend was right, if you wore a cheongsam style dress to a cocktail party as a white woman it would certainly raise eyebrows in SOME circles.

But WHY? I wasn’t wearing it as a costume. I just thought it was a flattering style on me. Why would it be offensive?

Do you understand the cultural significance of the cheongsam dress?

The fact that all you care about was “it’s flattering” is the problem. That dress has major cultural significance and you don’t even understand what that is.

Pp who posted the YouTube video here with an honest question.

What is the major cultural significance that would make it inappropriate for the other poster to wear the dress? Admittedly, I know relatively little about China and its culture, which is one of the reasons I like to watch YouTube videos about it and other places around the world. The impression I got from that video is that the dress has no specific significance and that Chinese people are fine with Westerners wearing it, especially if it’s flattering. Maybe the YouTuber didn’t fully understand the situation, but if there is a significance to the dress, I’d appreciate learning about it to add to my general knowledge.

This is a big part of the problem. It is not on POC to educate you. You are fully capable of googling it.

White people doing things that are offensive, then playing innocent and going “please educate me!” isn’t acceptable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wear anything you want, any time you want, regardless of your spouse’s ethnicity. Cultural appropriation is a myth.

I agree with you that people should be able to wear whatever they want. But in our messed up world, people will judge you for it, even though that’s dumb.

Years ago I had a beautiful red dress with a flower pattern on it and a mandarin collar. I wore it because it was pretty and got lots of compliments. Two decades later when someone saw an old photo of me in it they commented that I “couldn’t get away with that today” because apparently that was “cultural appropriation.” The world has gone totally mad.

Your friend was right, if you wore a cheongsam style dress to a cocktail party as a white woman it would certainly raise eyebrows in SOME circles.

But WHY? I wasn’t wearing it as a costume. I just thought it was a flattering style on me. Why would it be offensive?

Do you understand the cultural significance of the cheongsam dress?

The fact that all you care about was “it’s flattering” is the problem. That dress has major cultural significance and you don’t even understand what that is.

Pp who posted the YouTube video here with an honest question.

What is the major cultural significance that would make it inappropriate for the other poster to wear the dress? Admittedly, I know relatively little about China and its culture, which is one of the reasons I like to watch YouTube videos about it and other places around the world. The impression I got from that video is that the dress has no specific significance and that Chinese people are fine with Westerners wearing it, especially if it’s flattering. Maybe the YouTuber didn’t fully understand the situation, but if there is a significance to the dress, I’d appreciate learning about it to add to my general knowledge.