Anonymous
10/25/2022 10:01
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course. Women were sold a myth that we could have it all. It was a lie. To be a good parent, you must scale back on work. You can’t do both. I cut back and changed career trajectory. I am with my kids out the door to school and when they get home. So happy about that
This will probably ring hollow for women, but I'm a man, and to be a good dad, I can't go balls to the wall with work either. And I happily choose my family and children. Bless those who choose their families as the priority.
+1. Also I would argue that you CAN "have it all" if you have only one child, but that is a path with some stigma and many people don't see their family as complete that way. I did, and guess what, I have time for my family and my job, because I'm not being pulled in 2 or 3 directions, and only spending $$ on one kid (daycare tuition etc.) leaves more flexibility.
Yes, I agree. One kid also only needs you for 18 years, versus I know families with, say, 3 kids, each 3-4 years apart, where there is a much longer stretch where someone needs oyu all the time.
+2 I have one and adore her but my productivity at work definitely took a big hit in those first two years (outside of parental leave). DD is 3.5 and I am finally starting to feel like a functional adult again. Another child would be really difficult for me. Though I will say my friends and I mostly work in government that those that have had two have stayed connected to their jobs. So I think working in a sector that is not as cutthroat makes this possible.
Anonymous
10/25/2022 09:52
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
I don't aspire to be the #1 person in a company. I am senior level but am happy being a mostly behind the scenes right hand person to the #1 person. I don't want to take that person's job, I am very happy working for them and being the right hand person.
Anonymous
10/25/2022 09:46
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
I guess I parent tracked b/c I'm not gunning for partnership at my law firm. I'm a counsel and perfectly happy. (Yes I had an opp to make partner and I chose not to so it's not as if I didn't have choice).
Agree with PPs saying that it means different things so it's very subjective.
Agree with PPs saying that it means different things so it's very subjective.
Anonymous
10/25/2022 09:43
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course. Women were sold a myth that we could have it all. It was a lie. To be a good parent, you must scale back on work. You can’t do both. I cut back and changed career trajectory. I am with my kids out the door to school and when they get home. So happy about that
This will probably ring hollow for women, but I'm a man, and to be a good dad, I can't go balls to the wall with work either. And I happily choose my family and children. Bless those who choose their families as the priority.
+1. Also I would argue that you CAN "have it all" if you have only one child, but that is a path with some stigma and many people don't see their family as complete that way. I did, and guess what, I have time for my family and my job, because I'm not being pulled in 2 or 3 directions, and only spending $$ on one kid (daycare tuition etc.) leaves more flexibility.
Yes, I agree. One kid also only needs you for 18 years, versus I know families with, say, 3 kids, each 3-4 years apart, where there is a much longer stretch where someone needs oyu all the time.
Anonymous
10/25/2022 09:40
Subject: Re:What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Depends what you call mommy tracking.
For example among my friends, most of us of both genders left biglaw after a few years because we wanted better work-life balance. That was before any of us had kids and some still don't and don't plan to.
I think mommy tracking is a pejorative term that encompasses a lot of choices. If I make $300k for a WFH job where I am viewed as an expert in my field, am I "mommy tracking" because I'm not trying to be the CEO and I'm happy with my current schedule?
This. I make $500k total comp as a director and have no more ambition bc why? I turn down mtgs to go to Halloween parades. Did I mommy track? Idk.
Wow what role let’s you leave every day at 345pm when elem school lets out?
Director of sales, so team is out of office?
Yes, but you are expected to be back online whenever you are needed ad have your phone on you.
As long as the fires don’t pop up at 4-7 peak family time it’s an easy life. Make bank and have the core family time.
Anonymous
10/25/2022 09:14
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course. Women were sold a myth that we could have it all. It was a lie. To be a good parent, you must scale back on work. You can’t do both. I cut back and changed career trajectory. I am with my kids out the door to school and when they get home. So happy about that
This will probably ring hollow for women, but I'm a man, and to be a good dad, I can't go balls to the wall with work either. And I happily choose my family and children. Bless those who choose their families as the priority.
+1. Also I would argue that you CAN "have it all" if you have only one child, but that is a path with some stigma and many people don't see their family as complete that way. I did, and guess what, I have time for my family and my job, because I'm not being pulled in 2 or 3 directions, and only spending $$ on one kid (daycare tuition etc.) leaves more flexibility.
Anonymous
10/25/2022 09:04
Subject: Re:What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Depends what you call mommy tracking.
For example among my friends, most of us of both genders left biglaw after a few years because we wanted better work-life balance. That was before any of us had kids and some still don't and don't plan to.
I think mommy tracking is a pejorative term that encompasses a lot of choices. If I make $300k for a WFH job where I am viewed as an expert in my field, am I "mommy tracking" because I'm not trying to be the CEO and I'm happy with my current schedule?
This. I make $500k total comp as a director and have no more ambition bc why? I turn down mtgs to go to Halloween parades. Did I mommy track? Idk.
Wow what role let’s you leave every day at 345pm when elem school lets out?
Director of sales, so team is out of office?
Yes, but you are expected to be back online whenever you are needed ad have your phone on you.
Anonymous
10/25/2022 08:18
Subject: What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Flexibility and work/life balance used to be a sign of low prestige but is now a perk (see the comments re: tech industry).
Anonymous
10/25/2022 08:17
Subject: Re:What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Depends what you call mommy tracking.
For example among my friends, most of us of both genders left biglaw after a few years because we wanted better work-life balance. That was before any of us had kids and some still don't and don't plan to.
I think mommy tracking is a pejorative term that encompasses a lot of choices. If I make $300k for a WFH job where I am viewed as an expert in my field, am I "mommy tracking" because I'm not trying to be the CEO and I'm happy with my current schedule?
This. I make $500k total comp as a director and have no more ambition bc why? I turn down mtgs to go to Halloween parades. Did I mommy track? Idk.
Wow what role let’s you leave every day at 345pm when elem school lets out?
Director of sales, so team is out of office?
Anonymous
10/25/2022 08:16
Subject: Re:What percentage of women mommy track themselves?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Depends what you call mommy tracking.
For example among my friends, most of us of both genders left biglaw after a few years because we wanted better work-life balance. That was before any of us had kids and some still don't and don't plan to.
I think mommy tracking is a pejorative term that encompasses a lot of choices. If I make $300k for a WFH job where I am viewed as an expert in my field, am I "mommy tracking" because I'm not trying to be the CEO and I'm happy with my current schedule?
This. I make $500k total comp as a director and have no more ambition bc why? I turn down mtgs to go to Halloween parades. Did I mommy track? Idk.
Wow what role let’s you leave every day at 345pm when elem school lets out?