Anonymous wrote:Every vegan I know cheats when it suits them, but they won't eat what I serve at my house to make things easier. Even when I've tried -- "this has gluten! omg this has added sugar!" It's just an eating disorder for most people. If you're a vegan who wears leather, admit it, you don't actually give a crap about animals. If you're a vegan who binge eats chick fil A regularly and has the "occasional steak," you're not actually vegan and you can stop being difficult at dinners. If you're a vegan who eats fish, shrimp, and eggs, you're not vegan and you can eat the regular mayonnaise in my fridge instead of making me go to whole foods to get you vegannaise.

Sorry, I don't know part time vegans. At all. You are generalizing maybe one person. Come on

I don’t hate vegans. I have a couple of friends who when we meet we go to vegan restaurants because I can’t host them in my home. They are so much more work than hosting a vegetarian, which I find simple.

I gladly host vegetarians.

I'm a vegetarian, so I can somewhat relate. Someone says "you gotta try lunch at Porky's BBQ," I say "oh I'm not a fan of bbq but I'll tell my husband." Fine. But often, people will press (goes for any subject matter), to a point either right away or later in the conversation, I need to say I'm a vegetarian. My declaration doesn't come out of nowhere. It's part of the general conversation of "you really should go to Porky's even if you don't love bbq, they have burgers too, oh speaking of good burgers, have you tried Burger Hut..."

Conversation with my vegan friend include the same thing. I say ",OMG I Love that pizza place, their crust is the best, " and she might respond" I agree, but I wish they'd offer a vegan pizza. "

As you can imagine, the naturally occurring mention of vegan/vegetarianism often spurs more questions about how long have you been vegetarian, why are you, don't you miss burgers how do you get your vitamins? And next thing you know, you're accused of being one of those people who can't shut up about their diet.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a life long vegetarian but definitely don't expect anyone to accommodate me. I tend to eat before if it's a home I haven't been to, just in case. But it's rarely ever been an issue. With most people, I offer to make one dish that's vegetarian so my family and I can at least eat that.

Veganism is different though. It's harder to maintain that diet, so I think people sort of use it as a metric for determination or morality. I've had vegans stay with us, and it's challenging, depending on the strictness of the individuals. For example, once the relatives visiting us decided they couldn't eat the main dish my MIL (who was cooking this phenomenal meal) made because she had made the vegan dish in the same cast iron as the vegetarian dish she'd made before (I only have one cast iron, so she did it sequentially). She'd only rinsed with water between dishes and that wasn't enough for them. They said they could taste the butter. So they went to Sprouts and picked up salads for their family. Fine - at least we didn't have to make another dish for them but it was a level of pickiness that's almost offensive to the host. My MIL was almost on the verge of tears and I decided never to host these relatives again.

Wow. Those people take rude to a whole new level. I cannot believe that anyone would be that rude. Your poor MIL. It sounds like she handled it gracefully but ... just, wow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by the other thread on having vegans over for thanksgiving:

I’m trying to understand the intensely personal dislike that some people seem to harbor toward vegans.

Is the problem that:
- you dislike it when vegans try to push their lifestyle onto you, or
- you have some problem with the actual diet itself, or
- something else

I write this as a vegan myself, but one who has no issue with others eating meat. You want your burger, eat your burger. Does not matter to me at all. Just as I respect others’ choices, why can they not respect mine?

I haven't seen the other thread, and I imagine this has been covered both here and there. I don't hate vegans in a vacuum, but having them attend Thanksgiving would be a significant inconvenience. I can't think of one thing I typically serve for Thanksgiving that is vegan - maybe the cranberry sauce, and perhaps a salad, depending on which salad I make. My entire menu would have to be modified, and most of it would taste a lot worse than it does now. I have enough to do both before and on Thanksgiving to relish doing that (oh, yeah, they can eat the relish tray).

Also, Anthony Bourdain referred to vegans as a Hezbollah-like splinter group of vegetarians. I think that's apt.

+1
For a holiday that’s all about the food and the memories and the memories about the food, if you insist on vegan options for everything (and I have not heard of this, but if they were) you’re basically insisting on destroying someone’s holiday. Vegan food has its place but it’s just not great, certainly not when you’re looking forward to Meemaw’s creamed onions and oyster stuffing or whatever.

I think what annoys me about veganism is the fact that it’s a diet that requires supplementation. That’s an acknowledgement right there that it’s not the most well-rounded way to eat. People make the argument that it’s about being kinder to animals, but only some animals. I realize people don’t think insects and other small creatures killed incidentally are animals, but fields of beans and soy and every other plant that we eat means animals die in the harvest, too. And veganism isn’t the healthiest for the earth, either. Eating vegan doesn’t address the fact that’s what most broken about our food system is the corporate agriculture.

The greenest possible, least environmentally damaging diet is probably a mostly vegetarian diet, eaten as locally as possible and on a regenerative farm, probably pastured bison meat killed and dressed in the field. Animals have to die for all of us, even vegans, to eat, that’s a fact.

And may I never catch that tick borne disease that causes people to develop allergies to animal proteins.

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by the other thread on having vegans over for thanksgiving:

I’m trying to understand the intensely personal dislike that some people seem to harbor toward vegans.

Is the problem that:
- you dislike it when vegans try to push their lifestyle onto you, or
- you have some problem with the actual diet itself, or
- something else

I write this as a vegan myself, but one who has no issue with others eating meat. You want your burger, eat your burger. Does not matter to me at all. Just as I respect others’ choices, why can they not respect mine?

I haven't seen the other thread, and I imagine this has been covered both here and there. I don't hate vegans in a vacuum, but having them attend Thanksgiving would be a significant inconvenience. I can't think of one thing I typically serve for Thanksgiving that is vegan - maybe the cranberry sauce, and perhaps a salad, depending on which salad I make. My entire menu would have to be modified, and most of it would taste a lot worse than it does now. I have enough to do both before and on Thanksgiving to relish doing that (oh, yeah, they can eat the relish tray).

Also, Anthony Bourdain referred to vegans as a Hezbollah-like splinter group of vegetarians. I think that's apt.

I'm a life long vegetarian but definitely don't expect anyone to accommodate me. I tend to eat before if it's a home I haven't been to, just in case. But it's rarely ever been an issue. With most people, I offer to make one dish that's vegetarian so my family and I can at least eat that.

Veganism is different though. It's harder to maintain that diet, so I think people sort of use it as a metric for determination or morality. I've had vegans stay with us, and it's challenging, depending on the strictness of the individuals. For example, once the relatives visiting us decided they couldn't eat the main dish my MIL (who was cooking this phenomenal meal) made because she had made the vegan dish in the same cast iron as the vegetarian dish she'd made before (I only have one cast iron, so she did it sequentially). She'd only rinsed with water between dishes and that wasn't enough for them. They said they could taste the butter. So they went to Sprouts and picked up salads for their family. Fine - at least we didn't have to make another dish for them but it was a level of pickiness that's almost offensive to the host. My MIL was almost on the verge of tears and I decided never to host these relatives again.

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t like it when people act entitled, vegan or otherwise. I’ve hosted many vegan guests who were perfectly gracious and helpful. I also happen to have hosted several vegans who:

1) Preach and preach and try to shame and convert (yes, actually to me in my own home when I am hosting them)
2) Turn up their nose at what is on offer, especially when I have gone out of my way to purchase or prepare it (“vegetarian lasagna with vegan cheese again, it’s like no one knows how to make anything else vegan”)

I don’t categorically dislike vegans. I do categorically dislike rude, entitled people, which sometimes includes vegans.

I usually don't go to people's homes as I am very particular when it comes to food. If I host I ask people what they like vs. just tell them this is what they are eating.

And there you have it. Who wants to host someone so difficult? Fall in or stay home. I’ll be happy to serve vegan options if you tell me you are vegan, but you don’t get to dictate the menu. If you can’t be a gracious guest, stay home.

Gracious, mature vegans are welcome in my home.
Picky, difficult guests—whether they are vegan or not—will not be invited back.

A good host takes food preferences into consideration.

If I ask “any allergies or food restrictions,” usually someone will rather sheepishly say, “it’s not an allergy, but I hate fish.” Or a spouse might say, “Barbara technically can eat pork, but she prefer not to.” That’s helpful information.

That said, most people don’t treat home invitations like a restaurant. And most mature adults—even if they don’t particularly like something—won’t mention it, because that’s not the same level as keeping kosher or being allergic to mushrooms.

I dislike certain foods, but I have never mentioned them when accepting an invitation to someone’s home. Because even if those things are on the table, I can eat them like an adult. I can eat a small portion of the thing I do not like, eat plenty of the rest, and thank my hosts for having me. Because the point of the evening is the company and the time spe nt together. If I get home and find I’m still hungry, I eat a bowl of cereal and I’m off to bed.

Do you say that to guests who are trying to be kosher? Just eat it to be polite?

I’m not making my house kosher for you. Host your own dinner or bring your own dish. Kosher, vegan, gluten free, nut allergy, seafood allergy, whatever. Don’t complain just don’t eat it if it isn’t up to your standards

Genuine food allergies that can kill a person? Yes, please let me know and ask the question. I have zero problem with that. Anyone I know with that kind of allergy, they don't expect special food or treatment but they ask the question and they should.

I have a friend who is vegan, that’s great. He’s always a welcome guest.

I have a another friend who is “vegan,” and she is damn annoying. It’s honestly all she talks about. Diet this and that, constant “health” updates (I don’t need to know about your bowel movements, thanks), you shouldn’t eat that, and yes, she “cheats” and even occasionally eats—wait for it—bacon. Did I really just waste my time and energy making a vegan breakfast entree so that you could come to brunch and eat a slice of BACON in front of my face.

I have no problems with vegans. I have many problems with “vegans.” After the bacon stunt, I no longer invite her over to my home. I’ll meet her at a restaurant and let the waiter deal with her antics.

Just don't ever talk about it. I don't care. I don't care what you're eating and I don't want to have to modify where I'm eating or what I'm serving for you if we eat together.

I would say this about any diet. Actual food allergies? Sure, let me know. Otherwise don't care. Find something to eat or order. The end.

Vegans tend to let you know about it.

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Anonymous wrote:Because they are preachy.

The old joke: "How do you know a person is vegan?" A: "Don't worry, theyll tell you within 5 minutes of meeting them."

I know cool vegans too. They don't talk about their eating lifestyle, just like I don't talk about mine.

Why not? What's the big secret? Food and diet are interesting subjects for people who are into food and not threatened by others.

LOL, nope! I don’t care whether it’s vegan or an “I’m such a steak and potatoes guy, what’s with all this weird stuff” dude like my dad, no one actually cares what you eat, or don’t eat, or why, or how much weight you lost or gained or want to lose or gain, etc. “Ketchup is a Karb Keto Kevin” is like everyone’s most dreaded co-worker. Both “I’m a vegan and I can’t imagggginnnneeeee eating meat” gal and “I can’t imaggginnnneeeeee not eating meat” guy are both equally owannoying people.

Talking about what you eat or don’t eat, like anyone actually gives a shyt, is attention-seeking behavior.

Weird. How is talking about what you eat attention-seeking behavior? Or any different than any other subject? I really don't get it. I don't care what other people eat -- it doesn't affect me at all -- so why wouldn't I be able to politely chat about their diet? It's no different than chatting about the weather (to me at least; obviously it's some kind of trigger for you...).

That's weird. Why is talking about what you eat attention-seeking behavior? H

What is there to “chat” about beyond “Where should we go to lunch” and “oh great, I love pizza”? Talking about the food at a restaurant is one thing—because that’s a shared experience. No one really cares if you’re “off carbs at the moment,” like just order your food.

Well good for you. I find other people interesting to listen to. I get that you think them talking is "attention-seeking" because it's not about you. That's a shame. You should try listening to people talk about what they think is interesting or important for a change. You might enjoy it. You might even learn a thing or two. You never know.

No. We find it attention-seeking because it is attention-seeking. If you don’t have more interesting things to talk about yourself than The List Of Things I Don’t Eat And Why, you’re an overgrown adolescent.

I work in a field where more people are vegan than not, and literally no one has these conversations. Though I was at a conference over the summer and there was a vegan restaurant across the street, that was flipping delicious, and yes we talked a lot about how good it is. But seriously this absolutely never comes up unless it's to compare notes about this new product v that one or whatever.

Can I ask what field?

I’m vegetarian and I don’t hate on vegans or meat eaters. It usually only comes up when food comes up. I don’t expect people to cook anything separate for me but it’s a nice gesture when they included vegetarian stuff.

Anonymous wrote:Do vegans host and offer meat dishes when their guests eat meat and dairy? Or do you only serve vegan dishes?

+1

Anonymous wrote:I don't "hate" vegans; however, I refuse to enable them. Someone who is vegan has mental health problems and uses food control as an unhealthy (mentally and physically unhealthy) coping mechanism. I don't ever purposefully enable someone struggling with a mental health problem.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Do vegans host and offer meat dishes when their guests eat meat and dairy? Or do you only serve vegan dishes?

Good question! I'm a longtime vegetarian (not vegan) and will sometimes serve meat depending on the event. Like if we have a cookout we will have some chicken and fish to grill but also veggie burgers and veggie kabobs. Or on Thanksgiving I will make all the sides vegetarian or vegan but then I'll get a turkey and gravy at Whole Foods that just has to be put in the oven for a few hours. My husband and kids eat meat so he will often cook some up and I make the rest of the meal.

I think it's polite to accommodate food preferences- I want people to be comfortable and enjoy their meal. But I also don't have people with strict requirements that then "cheat" in my family or close friends- that would be really annoying. I haven't had meat, fish, or poultry for decades and haven't ever wanted to "cheat". Close family/friends know I don't eat meat and I either bring something or they make sure there's something for me when we eat together- if you're eating healthy food it's usual to have vegetarian items. For events where I don't know the hosts well I usually eat before and then just have what I can. If someone asks I just mention I'm vegetarian.