Anonymous wrote:OP...you sound like a jerk. If your child is actually applying to "selective schools" they are smart and hard working. They have good grades. They have good test scores. They already have an essay. And what is your response? They are "stubborn", "lazy", and it would be a "waste of an application fee" to submit her application because she isn't doing what you want her to. Really, OP? You are prepared to drop thousands and thousands of dollars on a college education but you think paying under $100 to apply is a "waste"? Nice way to acknowledge your child's accomplishments.

You are acting like a jerk, and, understandably, your kid is refusing to do what you are suggesting. You've turned this into an ugly power struggle. You. The adult.

"Larla. I'm sorry how I've been acting about your essay. Your application is so strong, and your essay is good. Of course I will pay for your applications. I just got a little crazy because I know other kids are getting lots of private help with their essays. You don't need that kind of help, but it's unfair that other kids are getting it and you are not. I was just trying to think of a way to make it more fair for you, but I understand I sounded like a jerk about it. Whatever you decide, it's up to you. I hope you will think about letting someone read your essay and give feedback, but whatever you decide is ok with me. I won't bring it up again."

Anonymous wrote:Essays rarely make any difference in highly selective private college admissions. And that’s especially true wrt demographic cohorts where there are an abundance of competitive applicants to a particular school. Essays are also unimportant at most state flagships (very stats-driven). Parents obsess over the essay because they think that’s something they can control (hence OP’s frustration). And this obsession has facilitated a cottage industry of consultants and how-to books.

Anonymous wrote:Several years ago, I read a college application essay that was outstanding with respect to grammar, punctuation, word choice, and flow and was written in a sincere, genuine, and moving tone. The applicant's statistical credentials and an EC were adequate for any Ivy League school, yet she ended up being rejected by all "most selective" schools and ended up at a school with an acceptance rate of almost 90%.

The essay had been reviewed and commented upon by a significant number of experienced college advisors on a international college website after it had been submitted and after the rejections had been received. None understood why this college applicant was not accepted by multiple elite colleges and universities.

I, too, read the essay after the fact. I communicated with the 18 or 19 year old student in writing. I thought that I understood why this student was unsuccessful in the attempt to get admitted to a dozen or so highly selective schools. My communication with the student confirmed that the student did not exhibit the most important qualities sought by the most selective colleges and universities and this was reflected in the student's application essays. This was a student with at least two hooks--resident of an unrepresented state, national award or awards (I forget), and of modest financial resources who had received careful and thorough review of her essay before submission by two trusted teachers at her high school.

I wrote this post to make two points: One, a beautifully crafted essay does not necessarily elevate a highly qualified applicant with hooks to the yes pile. Two, that a meticulously written essay which retains the writer's voice can still be so flawed as to cause a rejection.

My advice: Think before you write, and think when you reread your essay. Never forget your goal and understand that an essay whether polished or crude can and should reflect the true qualities of the individual writer.

I believe that I could have easily "corrected" the student's writing and greatly increased the student's chances for admission to an Ivy or Ivy equivalent school if the student elected to take a gap year, but I did not offer to do so because her writing convinced me that the student had been admitted to the most appropriate school.

Anonymous wrote:Several years ago, I read a college application essay that was outstanding with respect to grammar, punctuation, word choice, and flow and was written in a sincere, genuine, and moving tone. The applicant's statistical credentials and an EC were adequate for any Ivy League school, yet she ended up being rejected by all "most selective" schools and ended up at a school with an acceptance rate of almost 90%.

The essay had been reviewed and commented upon by a significant number of experienced college advisors on a international college website after it had been submitted and after the rejections had been received. None understood why this college applicant was not accepted by multiple elite colleges and universities.

I, too, read the essay after the fact. I communicated with the 18 or 19 year old student in writing. I thought that I understood why this student was unsuccessful in the attempt to get admitted to a dozen or so highly selective schools. My communication with the student confirmed that the student did not exhibit the most important qualities sought by the most selective colleges and universities and this was reflected in the student's application essays. This was a student with at least two hooks--resident of an unrepresented state, national award or awards (I forget), and of modest financial resources who had received careful and thorough review of her essay before submission by two trusted teachers at her high school.

I wrote this post to make two points: One, a beautifully crafted essay does not necessarily elevate a highly qualified applicant with hooks to the yes pile. Two, that a meticulously written essay which retains the writer's voice can still be so flawed as to cause a rejection.

My advice: Think before you write, and think when you reread your essay. Never forget your goal and understand that an essay whether polished or crude can and should reflect the true qualities of the individual writer.

I believe that I could have easily "corrected" the student's writing and greatly increased the student's chances for admission to an Ivy or Ivy equivalent school if the student elected to take a gap year, but I did not offer to do so because her writing convinced me that the student had been admitted to the most appropriate school.

Anonymous wrote:My kid had a pretty awful essay. She worked with one of those paid Editors and ended up with something amazing. She felt it wasn't her words so she went back to the original. She had strong stats and got waitlisted at a bunch of her favorites. In retrospect, I wish I had pushed harder for her to use the Edited version and maybe she would not have had so much disappointment in her waitlist schools.

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Anonymous wrote:Tell her you will not pay for the application fee until she fixes it. She can fix it or find a way to pay for it herself.

Fix it according to whom???

From an ethical standpoint, the essay should be only the child’s work. Forcing a kid to take someone else’s edits or not apply is absurd and wrong.

I didn’t say force her I just wouldn’t pay for the application. Having someone proofread an essay is not unethical, many college professors will proofread essays during office hours if asked. The fact that she’s being completely stubborn and unwilling to receive feedback is why I wouldn’t pay for it. If she agreed to meet with a teacher or librarian that could make suggestions I’d be ok with that whether she takes the suggestions and applies them or not. Allowing a child to completely disregard the draft writing process for an essay when they’re applying to college just sets them up to think this will be ok in college as well. The point is to teach the lesson and help expand essay writing abilities and learn to accept feedback as part of the process, not to force changes.

It’s her essay. It’s her writing. The college is judging her.

And no, good professors don’t proofread essays. They might point out several examples of errors or poor stylistic choices and then tell the student to carefully read their paper and find similar errors and fix them. They do NOT proofread. Please do not teach your kid that she should ask her college professors to proofread her essay in office hours.

Signed, a writing professor

The good ones will. If they don’t most campuses also have writing centers.

Writing centers might (I don’t know — never worked in or with one), but PP is right. Profs don’ t proofread essays. Some of us will read or skim drafts, but more for substance and/or whether the student is on the right track (doing what the assignment is asking them to do).

Maybe things have changed since I was in school, but isn’t feedback reflected in the grade the student receives? If all the feedback comes before submission, they’re going to ace every assignment.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Tell her you will not pay for the application fee until she fixes it. She can fix it or find a way to pay for it herself.

Fix it according to whom???

From an ethical standpoint, the essay should be only the child’s work. Forcing a kid to take someone else’s edits or not apply is absurd and wrong.

I didn’t say force her I just wouldn’t pay for the application. Having someone proofread an essay is not unethical, many college professors will proofread essays during office hours if asked. The fact that she’s being completely stubborn and unwilling to receive feedback is why I wouldn’t pay for it. If she agreed to meet with a teacher or librarian that could make suggestions I’d be ok with that whether she takes the suggestions and applies them or not. Allowing a child to completely disregard the draft writing process for an essay when they’re applying to college just sets them up to think this will be ok in college as well. The point is to teach the lesson and help expand essay writing abilities and learn to accept feedback as part of the process, not to force changes.

It’s her essay. It’s her writing. The college is judging her.

And no, good professors don’t proofread essays. They might point out several examples of errors or poor stylistic choices and then tell the student to carefully read their paper and find similar errors and fix them. They do NOT proofread. Please do not teach your kid that she should ask her college professors to proofread her essay in office hours.

Signed, a writing professor

The good ones will. If they don’t most campuses also have writing centers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you will not pay for the application fee until she fixes it. She can fix it or find a way to pay for it herself.

Fix it according to whom???

From an ethical standpoint, the essay should be only the child’s work. Forcing a kid to take someone else’s edits or not apply is absurd and wrong.

Anonymous wrote:This made me remember my mom reading over my essay-literally handed it right back to me and her only comment was “I’d try to limit yourself to only using the word paradigm once per paragraph.” Tough but fair!

Anonymous wrote:This made me remember my mom reading over my essay-literally handed it right back to me and her only comment was “I’d try to limit yourself to only using the word paradigm once per paragraph.” Tough but fair!