The thread is straying from OP’s original Q to comparing private to public. As usual.

Cons of our kids private: long commute, cost, limited extracurriculars.

From our experience, our private doesn’t tolerate bad behavior. Kids with bad behavior are not asked to come back next year.

DD was in a well regarded public elementary and OMG the amount of behavior issues they had! The whole focus was on discipline and not on learning. The teachers yelled all the time, developed different punishment systems.

The most important thing at school was whether or not you are standing on the correct tile in the hallway and are lined up correctly.

When DD started private she was impressed mostly with how one could walk down a hallway any way they wanted. It blew her mind.

WOW. I just want to thank OP for posing this critical question, and likewise thank responders for their candor. My DC is in a public MS and we are preparing to apply to privates. I'll say that this thread has (frighteningly) confirmed my fears. I'm no longer clear nor confident about what the best path.

DC is an outstanding student (gifted program, straight As, taking advanced classes, etc) but is shy and reserved. I am primarily concerned about the favoritism and gatekeeping wrt academic opportunities potentially being reserved for the donor/wealthy kids. We are URM in a nearly all-white school district in MD but have loved the teachers, staff, and students alike. Everyone has been lovely! My sole gripe is the large, and still swelling, class sizes that have led to overcrowding. My additional reasons mirror those on this thread, which posters have come to learn are fallacies.

DC has been raised to remain disciplined and hard-working, which should yield her desired academic results. Our concept of fairness would require sharp revision at a private, where it is applied with varying metrics for the wealthy kids vs FA and/or URM kids. The prevalence of bad behavior, and the acceptance of such (based on the students' category), is yet another layer. Lastly, DC heavily relies on school for socializing and friendship.
I began this year with the highest confidence about going private, only to now realize the scales are far more leveled than I had presumed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. With everything said above, what exactly is the point of private school? Seems like it’s worse than a good public school.

Depends on your perspective. Where I come from-- there is no such thing as a "good" public school.

Well, it’s a good thing that you’re in the DC Metro area where there are plenty of great public schools.

Jeff has said before that a significant portion of posters are not from DC.

Also, really depends where in the DC metro area you are.

If they’re not from this area, they don’t need to be commenting on the quality of schools in this forum, now do they?

There is no geographic restriction on this forum. Get over yourself.

Indeed! Someone is a tad too sensitive about choosing public.

Anonymous wrote:Your child is less likely to live near their friends.

Many of the students are very entitled and have a blinkered/very narrow world view.

If school is too small -limits social opportunities and is harder to find their tribe.

+100 especially on last point. Everyone is quick to label you which can be difficult to escape. And everyone knows everyone’s business. Our previously reserved DC left small private for large public and couldn’t be happier. He is practically a different person. Thriving.

Our public schools regularly go under lockdowns. There are physical fights between girls and boys.

Kids fail classes and get Cs and get passed so they can move up to next grade.

It's easy to be an A student at our public. I know kids who got all As in all honors classes and barely did any work at home. They didn't know what hard work was until they got to private or college. Many of them fail the first year of college for that reason.

Cons
- Individualized approach is a lie, kids get no special attention

- They will sweep problems under a rug to make the school look good

- The teachers are OK, not spectacular. They do go into a lot of effort to make classes fun, but they are not perfect.

Gaps in knowledge are not uncommon. Kids may get behind and no one will notice until the quarter is over. and it will be your problem. I still have to get tutors for my DC for a couple of classes because teaching has not been sufficient.

My kid is pretty much getting an education equivalent to an average public school in some other country, but at a pretty hight expense.

However, it's still a better alternative than a local public school where reading proficiency is at 60%.

Small class size - it worked great in pre-k and most elementary, but by MS it just became too small in our case.

Spring break timing that is off schedule for most camps in the area. It’s great if you travel for spring break, but if not, it’s very hard to find camps which usually follow dc / Md / va public school calendars.

Uniforms. Dc and I at this point hate the uniforms. I hate ironing the darn thing, and dc hates wearing it.

Anonymous wrote:I went to private (secular day school) and public in another part of the country. I remember every one of my private school teachers - they were uniformly great, and almost always much better than the ones I had in public school.

And on the other hand, the kids in the honors classes at my public school have done as well -- and in many cases significantly better -- than the private school kids. I think there is so much to be said for the social aspect of public school. Dealing with the real world, less coddling, more economic diversity - so many ways to build life skills that help a person get along in life. The small, if respected, private school really fell short in this area.

+100

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. With everything said above, what exactly is the point of private school? Seems like it’s worse than a good public school.

Depends on your perspective. Where I come from-- there is no such thing as a "good" public school.

Well, it’s a good thing that you’re in the DC Metro area where there are plenty of great public schools.

Jeff has said before that a significant portion of posters are not from DC.

Also, really depends where in the DC metro area you are.

If they’re not from this area, they don’t need to be commenting on the quality of schools in this forum, now do they?

There is no geographic restriction on this forum. Get over yourself.

I went to private (secular day school) and public in another part of the country. I remember every one of my private school teachers - they were uniformly great, and almost always much better than the ones I had in public school.

And on the other hand, the kids in the honors classes at my public school have done as well -- and in many cases significantly better -- than the private school kids. I think there is so much to be said for the social aspect of public school. Dealing with the real world, less coddling, more economic diversity - so many ways to build life skills that help a person get along in life. The small, if respected, private school really fell short in this area.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. With everything said above, what exactly is the point of private school? Seems like it’s worse than a good public school.

Depends on your perspective. Where I come from-- there is no such thing as a "good" public school.

Well, it’s a good thing that you’re in the DC Metro area where there are plenty of great public schools.

Jeff has said before that a significant portion of posters are not from DC.

Also, really depends where in the DC metro area you are.

If they’re not from this area, they don’t need to be commenting on the quality of schools in this forum, now do they?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. With everything said above, what exactly is the point of private school? Seems like it’s worse than a good public school.

Depends on your perspective. Where I come from-- there is no such thing as a "good" public school.

Well, it’s a good thing that you’re in the DC Metro area where there are plenty of great public schools.

Jeff has said before that a significant portion of posters are not from DC.

Also, really depends where in the DC metro area you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. With everything said above, what exactly is the point of private school? Seems like it’s worse than a good public school.

Depends on your perspective. Where I come from-- there is no such thing as a "good" public school.

Well, it’s a good thing that you’re in the DC Metro area where there are plenty of great public schools.

Anonymous wrote:Wait till you hear cons for public schools.

In our area public schools have 90% graduation rate and 60% reading proficiency.

That’s why this is a hard thing to generalize. We left the public school system after my oldest went to a public middle school with kids vaping in the classroom, kids would not drink anything all day so they didn’t have to go to the bathroom while at school because of safety, and there were kids picked up in ambulances because of ODs. I have no personal experience with safe, happy public middle schools with excellent academics. But I know they exist, I just have never been in one personally.