Anonymous wrote:I had my surprise twins at 43. I never wanted kids, but when I found out I was pregnant I thought "what the h*ll. " I don't find the age to be old in the DC region. I felt great and I continued to swim on my masters swim team until 3 days before I delivered.

My 70-something parents rejoiced, joined a gym and became 10 years younger.

Kids are now 12 and we are such calm parents and grandparents. Better at this age!

+1.

I had my third at 41 and actually feel more rested and energetic than with my first two years ago when I was young. I think a lot depends on the kid. My third is the happiest, easiest, best sleeper, whereas my first was and still is challenging. Also, for those saying how exhausted they are in their mid forties, it’s going to vary depending on your lifestyle. I don’t have to work and have cleaning help so I have always been able to nap when the babies nap, workout daily, socialize with friends etc. If you are later in life with older kids, working full time and have a little one I can see how that would be exhausting. So not sure what your work situation is OP but that’s something to take into account as well.

I had both my kids in my 40’s and feel blessed everyday. If it is something you fundamentally want, then go do it. If your on the fence the big con is you will be really old by the time they are launched -which can make everything harder from having the energy to be there for your kids to dealing with the mom social scene that will be a lot younger. But there are pros too - it will keep you young and you will be wiser and know better how to prioritize.

Had my 1st at 47. Planned c-section because of a prior laparoscopic myomectomy. Recovery was much much easier than the myomectomy. Pregnancy was ok without any medical complications. Had to do extra monitoring because of my age but that was it.

I had my one and only at age 42. I had a relatively easy pregnancy and he's 6 now and I can't imagine life without him. I have nothing to compare it to. But my mom had children at 26, 28, 30, 39 and 41. Other than the fact she parented the younger 2 differently, we're all relatively normal, productive humans

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1st (an only) at 43. Close monitoring; induced at 39 weeks; water broke the morning I was scheduled to be induced so it worked out. In labor for 22 hours - uncomplicated delivery. Baby is an absolute joy!

It’s not the babyhood that’s the issue - it’s the teens and beyond.

Like another poster said, my mom passed away in her early 60’s. I’m glad I was 38 and not 18.

This

I had my last at 43. Super easy pregnancy, great kid. I know that's not the same for every person though and I do envy all my friends whose last kid is going to college and they are able to have their weekends back to themselves.

I had my surprise twins at 43. I never wanted kids, but when I found out I was pregnant I thought "what the h*ll. " I don't find the age to be old in the DC region. I felt great and I continued to swim on my masters swim team until 3 days before I delivered.

My 70-something parents rejoiced, joined a gym and became 10 years younger.

Kids are now 12 and we are such calm parents and grandparents. Better at this age!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my third at 42, and had also just felt like we were missing someone. I got lucky and had an easy pregnancy and healthy, easygoing baby. I will say that now, in early 50s, I’m much less energetic than I imagined I would be but it’s manageable and I can’t imagine our family without him.

You did not always feel like you were missing someone. That’s absurd and made up.

I don’t know, I have three and after each pregnancy except for my last I was already sure that I wanted another. After my third pregnancy I no longer had that feeling and felt my family was complete. I’m sure I would have gotten over it with time but if I had only had two kids I would’ve definitely felt like I was missing something.

+1. My third is 3.5 and I feel complete and have not yearned for another baby once. After my second I always felt I wanted one more…

Third son arrived when I was 43, easiest of my pregnancies (and the easiest baby). DH & I aren’t the oldest parents among his group of friends, but close to it. I think there is a sense of feeling younger due to being around “younger adults “ (most his friends parents are 45-50).
DH has two siblings and I have three, so having a third was something we discussed (but always see how things went with one, and then with two). I adore my two older sons, but can get the comment about someone missing, until our youngest arrived our family didn’t feel complete.
All that being said, think about points other posters have raised (different health risks/outcomes related to pregnancy, unknown health, body, energy changes heading to your 50s and beyond), as well as the implications of what you as a family can/will do when going from four to five.
Wishing you peace as you ponder what’s best for you & your family.

I have 2 and have considered a third but I’m 38 and I’m not sure I have the energy for a third at this age. I don’t think 43 is necessarily too old but I’d probably only have kids in my 40s if that’s when I was able to have my first. Adding a third at that point adds a lot of extra work. If you are up for it though, I don’t judge.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my third at 42, and had also just felt like we were missing someone. I got lucky and had an easy pregnancy and healthy, easygoing baby. I will say that now, in early 50s, I’m much less energetic than I imagined I would be but it’s manageable and I can’t imagine our family without him.

You did not always feel like you were missing someone. That’s absurd and made up.

I don’t know, I have three and after each pregnancy except for my last I was already sure that I wanted another. After my third pregnancy I no longer had that feeling and felt my family was complete. I’m sure I would have gotten over it with time but if I had only had two kids I would’ve definitely felt like I was missing something.

Sorry your first two kids didn’t fulfill you.

I’m not sure why you feel defensive and are being snarky about people wanting to have multiple children. I think an only child is right for many families but it is fairly common for people to want more than one child.

I’m not the pp, but you missed the point.

NP but I don’t understand…what’s the point? I had two kids because my family felt complete with 2 kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my third at 42, and had also just felt like we were missing someone. I got lucky and had an easy pregnancy and healthy, easygoing baby. I will say that now, in early 50s, I’m much less energetic than I imagined I would be but it’s manageable and I can’t imagine our family without him.

You did not always feel like you were missing someone. That’s absurd and made up.

I don’t know, I have three and after each pregnancy except for my last I was already sure that I wanted another. After my third pregnancy I no longer had that feeling and felt my family was complete. I’m sure I would have gotten over it with time but if I had only had two kids I would’ve definitely felt like I was missing something.

Sorry your first two kids didn’t fulfill you.

I’m not sure why you feel defensive and are being snarky about people wanting to have multiple children. I think an only child is right for many families but it is fairly common for people to want more than one child.

I’m not the pp, but you missed the point.

I'm 44 and no way would I want to be up all night with a baby or chasing around a toddler. My kids are 5 and 8 so not even super far off, but...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:now that I'm 50+ I'm SO THANKFUL that i don't have a young child.
I felt like I was 20 years old until I was about 47. Then age really caught up with me. Many of my friends feel the same way--late 40s is hard on women. Aging accelerates.

This - I’m 45 and am really starting to feel my age. I’m so glad to no longer be parenting little kids because I couldn’t do it at this age. I’m sure everyone is different but I’m shocked how exhausted I am.

Good for you. My youngest is 7 years old. I am about to turn 45.