Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so strange. Sometimes kids knock or walk over wanting to play. If my kids want to play and we’re not busy, they play outside. If we are busy, my kid says, “Sorry, we are busy.” and other kid goes home. Or, “I can play for 30 minutes.”

Why would there be any expectation that the kid is joining your outing for the day?

Exactly

It’s a dc thing. The people are afraid of their own shadows let alone neighbors kids

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so strange. Sometimes kids knock or walk over wanting to play. If my kids want to play and we’re not busy, they play outside. If we are busy, my kid says, “Sorry, we are busy.” and other kid goes home. Or, “I can play for 30 minutes.”

Why would there be any expectation that the kid is joining your outing for the day?

Exactly

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just tell the mom we're going to the pull in a an hour. If you want her to join us please bring her things over within 30 minutes otherwise I'll drop her off on my way out.

Because our pool passes are expensive and I don’t want to watch an extra kid at the pool by myself all afternoon. -OP

So invite the mom too. You don't sound like a good neighbor.

The other mom was rude. She could have texted before her kid showed up.

back in the day, kids rode bikes for hours, stopp9ng by various lids houses. sometimes the kids will come out to play and sometimes they couldnt. not a big deal.

It’s pretty bold of someone to send their kid over to someone else’s house at *noon* when the kid has not had lunch.

I didn't realize food prices had become *that* bad.

You are way over thinking this. "Hi this is Larla's mom. We're gonna feed Kiddo lunch if that's ok with you but we're going to the pool at XYZ time and can't bring her for ABC reason" (white lie or truth, take your pick).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently DCUM would hate my neighborhood. Kids stop by each other’s houses to play. They ask if it’s a good time, and if it’s not, they go home or somewhere else. I like that my child is learning to navigate social situations. I’m not her cruise director.

Are you in the habit of sending your kid down to someone else's house for lunch?

DP but I have kids eat at my home all the time because they have dropped by at 11, we eat at noon, and their families don't eat lunch until 1. It's not a big deal. If I couldn't give them lunch for some reason I would send them home.

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so strange. Sometimes kids knock or walk over wanting to play. If my kids want to play and we’re not busy, they play outside. If we are busy, my kid says, “Sorry, we are busy.” and other kid goes home. Or, “I can play for 30 minutes.”

Why would there be any expectation that the kid is joining your outing for the day?

+1.

I would actually think it was kind of odd if my kid rode her bike over to play for a little bit, and you took her to the pool for the rest of the afternoon.

Yes. I will foist my kid off on a bike ride for an hour, but I expect her to come back. I don’t really expect other parents to be driving away with her to some other place.

This whole thread is so strange. Sometimes kids knock or walk over wanting to play. If my kids want to play and we’re not busy, they play outside. If we are busy, my kid says, “Sorry, we are busy.” and other kid goes home. Or, “I can play for 30 minutes.”

Why would there be any expectation that the kid is joining your outing for the day?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently DCUM would hate my neighborhood. Kids stop by each other’s houses to play. They ask if it’s a good time, and if it’s not, they go home or somewhere else. I like that my child is learning to navigate social situations. I’m not her cruise director.

Amen!

I absolutely love that we're in a neighborhood where a random kid on a bike is seen as a good thing and not some horrible social misstep.

OP, this is easy. Let the kids play for an hour. Feed her if you're feeding your own kids, or don't if you aren't. Then say "OK suzie! We're heading out, so you have to leave now. Thanks so much for coming over to play!"
No reason to have even texted the mom to begin with. Literally none of this is a big deal.

+1. This. When my kids were younger I would always check with the parents before they went anywhere obviously but the older they get the older the more they go their own way. The kid and her mom have no way of knowing you had other plans today. Just tell her you’re going out and go about your day.

This sounds like my childhood. We would go "play" in the neighborhood all the time. You sound overly ridiculous OP! Can you not talk to children!

"Were about to have lunch." Then "sorry, come back in Xhrs" or "Have you eaten". Maybe followed by "does your mom know where you are".

I wouldn't text the mom at all if she didn't text you. If she doesn't have those communications with her kids, she will learn. Just take it in stride. Don't feel obligated to look after her or feed her or take her to the pool, if you don't want to. If you want to then do. If you take her anywhere in the car then, yes, you need to tell the mom.

I really didn't realize how many awkward insecure parents there were.

Anonymous wrote:Apparently DCUM would hate my neighborhood. Kids stop by each other’s houses to play. They ask if it’s a good time, and if it’s not, they go home or somewhere else. I like that my child is learning to navigate social situations. I’m not her cruise director.

Are you in the habit of sending your kid down to someone else's house for lunch?

Anonymous wrote:Apparently DCUM would hate my neighborhood. Kids stop by each other’s houses to play. They ask if it’s a good time, and if it’s not, they go home or somewhere else. I like that my child is learning to navigate social situations. I’m not her cruise director.

Amen!

I absolutely love that we're in a neighborhood where a random kid on a bike is seen as a good thing and not some horrible social misstep.

OP, this is easy. Let the kids play for an hour. Feed her if you're feeding your own kids, or don't if you aren't. Then say "OK suzie! We're heading out, so you have to leave now. Thanks so much for coming over to play!"
No reason to have even texted the mom to begin with. Literally none of this is a big deal.

OMG just say no and send the kid home. My kids and some other kids in our neighborhood will just show up asking if anyone wants to play. I love it - I think its great. But if we're getting ready to eat or go somewhere we just say no. Sometimes if we're about to eat we say kid can come out and play in 10 minutes and other kids just wait outside. I don't feel obligated to invite anyone in for a meal and no one has ever fed my kids. Its good for kids to hear no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not just tell the mom we're going to the pull in a an hour. If you want her to join us please bring her things over within 30 minutes otherwise I'll drop her off on my way out.

Because our pool passes are expensive and I don’t want to watch an extra kid at the pool by myself all afternoon. -OP

So invite the mom too. You don't sound like a good neighbor.

The other mom was rude. She could have texted before her kid showed up.

back in the day, kids rode bikes for hours, stopp9ng by various lids houses. sometimes the kids will come out to play and sometimes they couldnt. not a big deal.

It’s pretty bold of someone to send their kid over to someone else’s house at *noon* when the kid has not had lunch.

In the summer? People eat lunch later in the summer. No big deal. Feed the kid or send her away. OP sounds like a PITA.

+1

No need to even text the Mom.

Don't overthink this. Just send her home

OP,

Way "back in the day" did your mom really call the other mom when you headed out on your bike to see friends? Likely not. Ever grab an unplanned PB&J sandwich at a friend's house for lunch in the summer without the mom giving you the stink eye and rushing you out?

Give this mom some slack. Perhaps she is running an old fashioned 70-'s-80's summer with her family and not a such a scheduled one. Are the pools passes really THAT expensive? C'mon, this is DCUM-land.