Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this is a question?
they moved out when they went to the dorms to start college. So, August after their senior year of HS.
No one has moved back home. They're all in low 30's now.
We like our empty nest and make it pretty uncomfortable to live here. They took note.

This is one of the coldest things I have ever read on this board. I am sorry PP that you have such a poor relationship with your kids, but I sure wouldn't be so proud of it as you seem to be posting it on this board.

My college aged kids have apartments in their college town but they come here on breaks and will continue to as long and life circumstances allow it. I would be perfectly fine with them living here until they save some money to go out on their own or live with a friend. I'm certainly not going to kick them out at any particular time, but perhaps I'm just lucky enough to have kids who I enjoy being around and vice versa.

I have a great relationship with my kids. They come home often - for Holidays. We all have a great time together and then they go back to their own homes.
We do family vacations together and get together at our lake home too.
But, we live separately - that's how ALL of us wanted it.

Anonymous wrote:this is a question?
they moved out when they went to the dorms to start college. So, August after their senior year of HS.
No one has moved back home. They're all in low 30's now.
We like our empty nest and make it pretty uncomfortable to live here. They took note.

This is one of the coldest things I have ever read on this board. I am sorry PP that you have such a poor relationship with your kids, but I sure wouldn't be so proud of it as you seem to be posting it on this board.

My college aged kids have apartments in their college town but they come here on breaks and will continue to as long and life circumstances allow it. I would be perfectly fine with them living here until they save some money to go out on their own or live with a friend. I'm certainly not going to kick them out at any particular time, but perhaps I'm just lucky enough to have kids who I enjoy being around and vice versa.

Anonymous wrote:why are you saying you're a white family???

Because in Asian families you'll see them living at home until they get married, even if that's in their 30s or forever if they never marry.

My sister married a man from a traditional Italian family. He was working and living at home and mom was doing EVERYTHING for him--cooking, laundry, buying his clothes. My sister insisted that he move out and learn to manage a house with her. He had the money--but thought it was a waste of money since they could live at home, and his mother agreed. My sis insisted and they lived together for a few years before they got married. She still did the lion's share of the housework (she's very fastidious) but he did the laundry; they shared grocery shopping responsibilities, etc.
Ironically, she is the mom of two boys and does everything for them, just like her mother-in-law! The older one has some special needs so I understand her helping him (he's just graduated from college), but the younger one, in high school, is just lazy. He'll be living at home in the "mooching" kind of way for as long as he can get away with it.
There are different ways to live at home.
One way is to be responsible, grateful, and good company. The other is to be a moocher. You can have both in the same family!
I lived in the Middle East for a few years and it's accepted there for multiple generations to live together. Sometimes families live peacefully (childcare is taken care of) and sometimes not so peacefully (battles over the kitchen, cleanliness, and evening activities). You have to accept less privacy and constantly being expected to run errands for the older generation and to attend all family functions and meals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:just talked about this with my 10 yo. we expect her to move out when she gets married. i don't see the point of moving out if you are not starting a family.

Same here with 10 yo son.. maybe they will find and marry each other! but reading DCUM tells me kids cannot be home after they are adult as they will have difficulty finding dates etc. and starting family.

Right, you should not go from being someone’s child directly to being someone’s spouse. This is 2022. Adults should know how to find a home, clean that home, buy groceries and cook for themselves. Fill their own time, pay utilities and be alone. It is healthy and empowering.

Why? They can learn all that with their spouse, too.

Anonymous wrote:I am moving out as soon as my youngest turns 18. That will complete 33 years of parenting, from #1 to #6. All of my children had to be ready to fly before 18, because they need to hit the ground running. You're free to go wherever and do whatever, so go do that and have fun at it. That's my policy. 18 is a legal adult.

6 kids? Sounds like a litter of kittens rather than human children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:just talked about this with my 10 yo. we expect her to move out when she gets married. i don't see the point of moving out if you are not starting a family.

Because you want to learn how to be an independent adult?

You don’t want your child to grow into one of those DCUM posters who stays in a bad marriage because she is too afraid to be in her own.

Trust me, the women who stay in bad marriages are those without the education needed to make it on their own. Women who are supported by their parents and who make sure t6at they have the higher education to get a good job and stand on t(sir own two feet, will always be capable to look after themselves and their children. What do you expect to achieve at 18? The only adult thing they are capable of is having sex with some one and give them a roof over their head. And that’s exactly what they do.

Anonymous wrote:I am moving out as soon as my youngest turns 18. That will complete 33 years of parenting, from #1 to #6. All of my children had to be ready to fly before 18, because they need to hit the ground running. You're free to go wherever and do whatever, so go do that and have fun at it. That's my policy. 18 is a legal adult.

Glad you weren’t my parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:just talked about this with my 10 yo. we expect her to move out when she gets married. i don't see the point of moving out if you are not starting a family.

Same here with 10 yo son.. maybe they will find and marry each other! but reading DCUM tells me kids cannot be home after they are adult as they will have difficulty finding dates etc. and starting family.

Right, you should not go from being someone’s child directly to being someone’s spouse. This is 2022. Adults should know how to find a home, clean that home, buy groceries and cook for themselves. Fill their own time, pay utilities and be alone. It is healthy and empowering.

What?

Adult children can stay at home and can clean, cook, buy groceries, do laundry, entertain, go to work, drive a car, make medical appointments, do their banking, pay taxes, pay bills, negotiate salary, do gardening, get certifications and degrees, sew clothes…. They can do everything and probably do it better than kids who leave their homes at 18. It is healthy and empowering to be in a nurturing multigenerational home.

Of course if you are a WASP, YMMV.

All if you quoting your pre-pubescent kids should come back and post when they are teens.

Things are going to look ALOT different from there (for both parties!) 😂

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:just talked about this with my 10 yo. we expect her to move out when she gets married. i don't see the point of moving out if you are not starting a family.

Same here with 10 yo son.. maybe they will find and marry each other! but reading DCUM tells me kids cannot be home after they are adult as they will have difficulty finding dates etc. and starting family.

Right, you should not go from being someone’s child directly to being someone’s spouse. This is 2022. Adults should know how to find a home, clean that home, buy groceries and cook for themselves. Fill their own time, pay utilities and be alone. It is healthy and empowering.

Anonymous wrote:just talked about this with my 10 yo. we expect her to move out when she gets married. i don't see the point of moving out if you are not starting a family.

Because you want to learn how to be an independent adult?

You don’t want your child to grow into one of those DCUM posters who stays in a bad marriage because she is too afraid to be in her own.

Hopefully never!!! I hope they stay as long as they want, and when the move stay close by! I’m Hispanic, DH is Arab so we’re cool with kids home forever

this is a question?
they moved out when they went to the dorms to start college. So, August after their senior year of HS.
No one has moved back home. They're all in low 30's now.
We like our empty nest and make it pretty uncomfortable to live here. They took note.

Anonymous wrote:just talked about this with my 10 yo. we expect her to move out when she gets married. i don't see the point of moving out if you are not starting a family.

Same here with 10 yo son.. maybe they will find and marry each other! but reading DCUM tells me kids cannot be home after they are adult as they will have difficulty finding dates etc. and starting family.