Anonymous
Post 06/22/2022 10:59     Subject: Re:Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Anonymous wrote:OP it seems like the problem is you told the nanny they'd have to find a solution to the dog- but maybe in a wishy washy way?- and now, from what you have said yourself, the nanny is doing no work regarding how to either get the dog trained better, sent to a daycare during her working hours (I mean this is the bare minimum solution here) or rehomed. You've stated you yourself have done all the work and she hasn't really done anything. You need to sit her down and have a come to Jesus, and tell her she has X amount of days/weeks to find somewhere else for the dog to live- and remind her that you never agreed to have the dog live in your home, and outline the different ways it is negatively affecting your husband's work and how it dislikes your children and remind her of the time the smoke alarm went off and she ignored it because she was tending to her dog. And tell her that at the end of X days/weeks, the dog WILL be gone from your home, and if that means the nanny is gone with the dog, so be it, but the dog has an end date and you are sticking to it. You need to be firm because it sounds like she is young and taking advantage of the fact that you are a pushover.


I don't think she's "taking advantage" - I think she just doesn't feel she has any good choices here. It's not her fault her a-turd boyfriend moved and left her with a dog she's not able to properly care for. Now she's got to deal with that, without the resources she needs to be able to - obviously, living in her own place would be best, but she can't do that. She's going to have to find another home for the dog, or euthanize the dog, and both those things are hard and awful.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2022 10:57     Subject: Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Here's what I think. You hired a young and inexperienced nanny because you can't afford a truly professional one. You're probably underpaying her and overworking her, and you're likely very difficult to please.

You can't tell somebody with an old dog that they have to get rid of it. And you can't have them lock the dog up in a bedroom either. And you definitely can't put a bark collar on a poor old dog.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Give that dog the run of your house and time to adjust. Teach your children by way of example. My God, OP, you're awful.


Are we living on different planets? OP hired the nanny with the absolute rule that she could not bring her dog, as a live in nanny. Now, the nanny has brought the dog anyways. OP should just fire the nanny at this point (especially after the smoke alarm incident) and find a new nanny and hope that one doesn't try to bring a dog after living there for a while.


Well but that's the rub. OP seems to feel she can't get a new nanny. So the nanny actually has the upper hand here.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2022 10:51     Subject: Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Given the fact she left the stove to tend to the dog would’ve been cause for me to fire her immediately. Tell her dog has to go today if not she can go with him and find else where to live. You wouldn’t be wrong especially if it’s explicitly stated no animals/pets are allowed in your lease/contract.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2022 05:53     Subject: Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Anonymous wrote:Find a new nanny

That’s probably 80 hours of work for the Op to find and onboard a new nanny-considering interviews and search time. Not to mention onboarding. Good Nannies are hard to find and kids often have a bond with the nanny you don’t want to break. much easier to help her deal with the dog.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2022 02:04     Subject: Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Anonymous wrote:bark collar, let the dog mingle with the family during the day, doggie daycare a couple times a week etc. There are solutions to this.


No Bark collar on a senior dog!!!!!!
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2022 01:44     Subject: Nanny’s dog can’t stay
bark collar, let the dog mingle with the family during the day, doggie daycare a couple times a week etc. There are solutions to this.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2022 00:52     Subject: Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She left the stove to deal with the barking dog because the husband has her walking on eggshells.


Pretty sure she is going to be walking on more eggshells now that the husband had to leave his work to basically put out a kitchen fire because of her pet


Where does OP says there was a fire? My smoke detector goes off every time I cook it seems. We've never had a fire. The OP is a drama queen and the husband is a PITA.


I guess we will have to agree to disagree here. If I had a live in household employee and I stated no pets, and they not only brought their pet but their pet barked incessently all day and scratched my doors and peed on my carpet, I wouldn't be on DCUM wringing my hands about what to do. And I'm surprised you are taking away that OP is a drama queen and her husband is a PITA, but, you may be one of those people who thinks the world should revolve around their dog, and maybe that explains it.


I also am on Team OP. She's been generous and tried to work out a solution. I also think that she values the nanny and has a multi-year relationship with the nanny and that it's worth bending over backwards to figure out a solution for this. For the person who said the nanny should advertise the senior dog on Craigslist and pay 100$ so that someone takes it away, you know that dog will end up in a shelter and likely destroyed. You're just passing the buck.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2022 23:57     Subject: Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Find a new nanny
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2022 22:29     Subject: Re:Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP it seems like the problem is you told the nanny they'd have to find a solution to the dog- but maybe in a wishy washy way?- and now, from what you have said yourself, the nanny is doing no work regarding how to either get the dog trained better, sent to a daycare during her working hours (I mean this is the bare minimum solution here) or rehomed. You've stated you yourself have done all the work and she hasn't really done anything. You need to sit her down and have a come to Jesus, and tell her she has X amount of days/weeks to find somewhere else for the dog to live- and remind her that you never agreed to have the dog live in your home, and outline the different ways it is negatively affecting your husband's work and how it dislikes your children and remind her of the time the smoke alarm went off and she ignored it because she was tending to her dog. And tell her that at the end of X days/weeks, the dog WILL be gone from your home, and if that means the nanny is gone with the dog, so be it, but the dog has an end date and you are sticking to it. You need to be firm because it sounds like she is young and taking advantage of the fact that you are a pushover.


Just stop. We are talking about a young college student with no family to fall back on who is working her a$$ her dealing with OP's three kids WITH the stressed out husband IN the house. She's not "taking advantage" of anyone -- she's overwhelmed and you are all heartless.


The nanny is an employee. My employer does not deal with my personal issues for me or act like a surrogate parent. The nanny is an adult and an irresponsible one at that.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2022 22:26     Subject: Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Anonymous wrote:Here's what I think. You hired a young and inexperienced nanny because you can't afford a truly professional one. You're probably underpaying her and overworking her, and you're likely very difficult to please.

You can't tell somebody with an old dog that they have to get rid of it. And you can't have them lock the dog up in a bedroom either. And you definitely can't put a bark collar on a poor old dog.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Give that dog the run of your house and time to adjust. Teach your children by way of example. My God, OP, you're awful.


Oh here we go. “You can’t afford a nanny…you’re likely very difficult to please…” blah blah blah. OP doesn’t want a dog in her home that barks all day long and pees on the rugs!
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2022 22:21     Subject: Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She left the stove to deal with the barking dog because the husband has her walking on eggshells.


Pretty sure she is going to be walking on more eggshells now that the husband had to leave his work to basically put out a kitchen fire because of her pet


Where does OP says there was a fire? My smoke detector goes off every time I cook it seems. We've never had a fire. The OP is a drama queen and the husband is a PITA.


I guess we will have to agree to disagree here. If I had a live in household employee and I stated no pets, and they not only brought their pet but their pet barked incessently all day and scratched my doors and peed on my carpet, I wouldn't be on DCUM wringing my hands about what to do. And I'm surprised you are taking away that OP is a drama queen and her husband is a PITA, but, you may be one of those people who thinks the world should revolve around their dog, and maybe that explains it.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2022 22:19     Subject: Re:Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP it seems like the problem is you told the nanny they'd have to find a solution to the dog- but maybe in a wishy washy way?- and now, from what you have said yourself, the nanny is doing no work regarding how to either get the dog trained better, sent to a daycare during her working hours (I mean this is the bare minimum solution here) or rehomed. You've stated you yourself have done all the work and she hasn't really done anything. You need to sit her down and have a come to Jesus, and tell her she has X amount of days/weeks to find somewhere else for the dog to live- and remind her that you never agreed to have the dog live in your home, and outline the different ways it is negatively affecting your husband's work and how it dislikes your children and remind her of the time the smoke alarm went off and she ignored it because she was tending to her dog. And tell her that at the end of X days/weeks, the dog WILL be gone from your home, and if that means the nanny is gone with the dog, so be it, but the dog has an end date and you are sticking to it. You need to be firm because it sounds like she is young and taking advantage of the fact that you are a pushover.


Just stop. We are talking about a young college student with no family to fall back on who is working her a$$ her dealing with OP's three kids WITH the stressed out husband IN the house. She's not "taking advantage" of anyone -- she's overwhelmed and you are all heartless.


Pretty sure that "dealing with OP's three kids" is her literal job, the one that she is paid for and provided housing for. She is being made to decide between her job/home and her pet. It is not that different from her not being allowed to bring her dog to her office job and also not being allowed to have her dog at her apartment. She would have to find a new solution for the dog, or a new job and a new apartment. This isn't some immeasurable cruelty here, this is just life.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2022 22:18     Subject: Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She left the stove to deal with the barking dog because the husband has her walking on eggshells.


Pretty sure she is going to be walking on more eggshells now that the husband had to leave his work to basically put out a kitchen fire because of her pet


Where does OP says there was a fire? My smoke detector goes off every time I cook it seems. We've never had a fire. The OP is a drama queen and the husband is a PITA.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2022 22:16     Subject: Re:Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Anonymous wrote:OP it seems like the problem is you told the nanny they'd have to find a solution to the dog- but maybe in a wishy washy way?- and now, from what you have said yourself, the nanny is doing no work regarding how to either get the dog trained better, sent to a daycare during her working hours (I mean this is the bare minimum solution here) or rehomed. You've stated you yourself have done all the work and she hasn't really done anything. You need to sit her down and have a come to Jesus, and tell her she has X amount of days/weeks to find somewhere else for the dog to live- and remind her that you never agreed to have the dog live in your home, and outline the different ways it is negatively affecting your husband's work and how it dislikes your children and remind her of the time the smoke alarm went off and she ignored it because she was tending to her dog. And tell her that at the end of X days/weeks, the dog WILL be gone from your home, and if that means the nanny is gone with the dog, so be it, but the dog has an end date and you are sticking to it. You need to be firm because it sounds like she is young and taking advantage of the fact that you are a pushover.


Just stop. We are talking about a young college student with no family to fall back on who is working her a$$ her dealing with OP's three kids WITH the stressed out husband IN the house. She's not "taking advantage" of anyone -- she's overwhelmed and you are all heartless.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2022 22:14     Subject: Nanny’s dog can’t stay
Anonymous wrote:She left the stove to deal with the barking dog because the husband has her walking on eggshells.


Pretty sure she is going to be walking on more eggshells now that the husband had to leave his work to basically put out a kitchen fire because of her pet