Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just chiming in to say I’m not judging you! If you had a gma available to take care of the baby, people would think nothing (or much less) of it. You aren’t a horrible mom.

No I would still judge. She is discussing an infant like a dog/cat.

To be honest, I wouldn't be totally comfortable doing this with a dog or cat, either. I mean, I would still do it, but I'd feel a bit bad and slightly nervous the whole time that the pet was unhappy, lonely, or not being treated well. Just blithely waltzing off without a care or a second thought, for either a pet or a baby, is odd.

I don’t think OP is a troll, but I do think OP is one of those parents who truly doesn’t understand what it’s like to care for a small infant.

Going away for a week or more when the kid is 3, in the care of a very good and well-trusted nanny, is doable. I’d wonder what the kid would think and why it’s not coming along with a nanny to help, but ok. But doing it at 4.5 months old, with both parents leaving, is absolutely crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just chiming in to say I’m not judging you! If you had a gma available to take care of the baby, people would think nothing (or much less) of it. You aren’t a horrible mom.

No I would still judge. She is discussing an infant like a dog/cat.

Yeah, I would also judge. A 4.5-month-old should not be left without one of its parents for 8 days, period... not even with grandma. (Unless there was a true emergency.)

If you went over to the pet board and asked if someone could recommend a place to board a 2 month old puppy while they went on vacation, the pet board people would flip out.

THISSS!!!!

Ok OP is probably a troll, but for all the newbie or soon to be newbie moms….the infant days are the easiest time for travel. They are portable, can sleep in a carrier or in a stroller. I wish I could go back and travel more before they became toddlers.

Ok, I realize OP is probably just a troll, but on the off chance that OP is young and incredibly naive, here goes...

OP--it is not wise to leave an infant with a non-family member unless you spend a lot of money. First, as has been pointed out, nannies are employees. If you use a nanny for more than 40 hours in a week, you are paying time and a half for every hour over 40. There are 168 hours in a week and even if you had a day nanny and an overnight nanny, that's still 88 hours of overtime. That's only for the first week. There are a ton of other expenses and legal documentation that you'll need to leave town with your child in the care of non-family members. First, you'll need to ensure that your nanny is on your home owner's insurance so that if anything happens at the house, she is authorized to call the insurer for issues. You need to ensure that you give temporary guardianship to this person including power of medical authority for the child. So that if any accidents happen, the nanny is entrusted by emergency medical personnel to decide treatment for the baby. You need to ensure that the nanny has a source of funds for emergencies.

No, there is no such thing as a daycare that will take care of your child 7x24 for 7-10 days.

Unfortunately, one of the things that you agree to when you become a parent is to change your lives so that you ensure that someone, whether that is one of the parents, a family relative, or an appointed legal guardian is available to take care of that child until they are old enough to take care of themselves. Or at least to verbalize what they need to a caretaker. It is not a good idea to abandon your child for 7-10 days for several years, the exact number will vary.

So, you need to rethink. Either don't go on this trip at all, only one of you go and one of you stay with the baby, or take the baby with you. Sorry, but you need to grow up if you are going to be a parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just chiming in to say I’m not judging you! If you had a gma available to take care of the baby, people would think nothing (or much less) of it. You aren’t a horrible mom.

No I would still judge. She is discussing an infant like a dog/cat.

Yeah, I would also judge. A 4.5-month-old should not be left without one of its parents for 8 days, period... not even with grandma. (Unless there was a true emergency.)

If you went over to the pet board and asked if someone could recommend a place to board a 2 month old puppy while they went on vacation, the pet board people would flip out.

This sounds like the kind of request made by the kind of dad who gets sullen when his wife doesn't want to have sex the week after having a baby. A week-long vacation at 4.5 months without the baby is something that neglectful celebrities do.

Based on the way you are describing the situation, OP, you should probably reconsider a lot of what you assume parenting will be like. What you want is either expensive or neglect and either way, if you were my friend and told me you were doing this, I'd straight up tell you that I think you're being selfish and cruel to this child, and we would stop being friends. This decision indicates values that I cannot support or be around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just chiming in to say I’m not judging you! If you had a gma available to take care of the baby, people would think nothing (or much less) of it. You aren’t a horrible mom.

No I would still judge. She is discussing an infant like a dog/cat.

Yeah, I would also judge. A 4.5-month-old should not be left without one of its parents for 8 days, period... not even with grandma. (Unless there was a true emergency.)

Anonymous wrote:OP, just chiming in to say I’m not judging you! If you had a gma available to take care of the baby, people would think nothing (or much less) of it. You aren’t a horrible mom.

No I would still judge. She is discussing an infant like a dog/cat.

OP, just chiming in to say I’m not judging you! If you had a gma available to take care of the baby, people would think nothing (or much less) of it. You aren’t a horrible mom.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: So much judgment, so few solutions Regardless, I love you all fellow humans.
What do you all think about a nanny that we pre-screen with the question "Would you be able to stay with a baby 24/7 for 7-10 days twice per year?". It appears to be the least stressful situation for the baby. since it's the same person.

JUDGEMENT IS WELL WARRANTED FOR YOU OP. JFC.

Anonymous wrote:Is your kid in daycare? At 12.5 months I had to go on a work trip. After childcare at the hotel fell through, one of my child's daycare providers offered to take her. Technically daycare is open 6:30 to 6:30 so she was responsible for 4 nights (although she just used the daycare as convenient to her schedule) and then one very long Saturday (picked her up ~11:30pm).

It can be done but I don't recommend at 4 months and 8 days seems really long...

No. Her child hasn't even been born yet.

No way this is a real OP

Is your kid in daycare? At 12.5 months I had to go on a work trip. After childcare at the hotel fell through, one of my child's daycare providers offered to take her. Technically daycare is open 6:30 to 6:30 so she was responsible for 4 nights (although she just used the daycare as convenient to her schedule) and then one very long Saturday (picked her up ~11:30pm).

It can be done but I don't recommend at 4 months and 8 days seems really long...

I'm a big advocate of having a life outside of the kids and making your significant other a priority. I side-eye people who never leave their kids or don't have a life outside of their kids, BUT this is ridiculous to me. I actually think it's horrible to leave a baby that young.